|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 14:29|
That thread about Charlotte Church got me thinking - Ive never actually tupped a fat bird.
Has anyone on here? Im on about a really big lass. Im intigued, is it like jumping on a big bouncy castle?
|nobbienuts Posted on 15/08/2008 14:30|
Well worth a go as they try harder if you know what i mean, not the really fat ones tho
|Junction9Man Posted on 15/08/2008 14:31|
Dunno. I've never been on a bouncy castle before......
|bororeddaz Posted on 15/08/2008 14:31|
Fat lasses put more into the shagging as they don't know when the next shag is coming from.
I'm a chubby fan rather than a fatty fan
|bororeddaz Posted on 15/08/2008 14:33|
You have lived quite a sheltered life haven't you flar?
|Get_your_rat_out Posted on 15/08/2008 14:34|
flick the nipple, ride the ripple
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 14:35|
Its not that Daz, just that all my lovers have been svelt, elegant model types rather than fat chicks.
|japsterboro Posted on 15/08/2008 14:37|
Imagine peeling back the rolls to find her flange, only to discover?
a) An empty Kit-Kat wrapper
b) A used tampon
c) A half eaten Greggs 'Steak Bake'
|Junction9Man Posted on 15/08/2008 14:37|
Slap their ar3e and ride the first wave in. Or so I've heard.
|Get_your_rat_out Posted on 15/08/2008 14:39|
"Imagine peeling back the rolls to find her flange, only to discover?
a) An empty Kit-Kat wrapper
b) A used tampon
c) A half eaten Greggs 'Steak Bake'"
d) The last person to shag her
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 14:40|
"Ive never actually tupped a fat bird." or indeed any bird I expect.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 14:44|
Mido - I know its probably difficult for you to comprehend but there are people on here who live in a world where dealings with women go beyong looking at your mams fat asre wobbling around in her leggings as she drags her bad leg down Linthorpe Road...
|bororeddaz Posted on 15/08/2008 14:48|
Flar, your comments on any subject are redundant unless you have 1st hand experience.
I bet you haven't spied on your mam in the bath, let the dog suck you off or even touched another mans erection?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 14:50|
I dont need to come on to a message board to try and make out Ive been with women!
Youre not fooling anyone Flar.
|Moo_Cow Posted on 15/08/2008 14:51|
I bet Flar hasnt even let a lass DO HIM UP THE DOGGER with a strap on!
|bororeddaz Posted on 15/08/2008 14:53|
Never lived the lad
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 14:55|
Over-inflate your rubber doll Flar, if you want to give it a try.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 14:55|
Mido, I am an ex-male model who has worked with some of the world's most beautiful women (and Norah Jones). Are you still at Garlands?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 14:56|
Ive never heard of a straight male model, that proves it.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 14:57|
Are you jealous Mido? You sound it...
|Boromart Posted on 15/08/2008 14:59|
"c) A half eaten Greggs 'Steak Bake'"
Are you alluding to Lisbon shagging fat lasses?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 14:59|
yeah I wish I had an imagination like yours, flar.
|Monkey_Spunk_Moped Posted on 15/08/2008 14:59|
By any chance are you an ex-model on account of the fact that your an unemployable hideous looking cnut?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:02|
why are people on Teesside so envious of the successful?
Monkey - Your comment is even more ridculous as:
a. you have never met me so dont have a clue what i look like
b. if you were, as you put it "an unemployable hideous looking cnut" you wouldnt be an ex-model would you?
c. you thick twwat!
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:02|
Did you model for "trainspotter weekly" Flar?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:04|
Calvin Klein mate (if you are egnuinely interested)
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:07|
So you wanted pictures of you in your pants in mens magazines? Is that the actions of a straight man?
|Junction9Man Posted on 15/08/2008 15:08|
Cor, this is a bit lively ain't it. Carry on.
|Smogmeister61 Posted on 15/08/2008 15:09|
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:09|
Flar, youre giving is a cry for help here. Just come out the closet, we wont (couldnt) think any less of you.
|Junction9Man Posted on 15/08/2008 15:11|
|Monkey_Spunk_Moped Posted on 15/08/2008 15:11|
He means he had some pictures taken for Kenny Calvin, the little known Scottish adult film producer who deals exclusively in gay fantasist pornography.
Unfortunately, the pictures didn't turn out as hoped but he landed on his feet or should I say knees by becoming Kenny's NO.1 fluffer.
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:12|
Did you have a stiffy in the picture thinking of all the men looking at you or was it a sock?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:20|
Dear Lord! They were shots for a fragrance, aftershave. Funny how you immediately thought of mens' packages though isnt it?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:22|
See I wouldnt call aftershave a fragrance, but then im straight.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:23|
Are you sure Mido? You sound like you are trying to convince yourself?
Do you have a girlfriend?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:27|
Cat got your tongue mate?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:27|
I have a wife.
Flar, do you realise how sad you sound trying to convince everyone youre a male model? Pathetic.
|bororeddaz Posted on 15/08/2008 15:28|
Arguing with yourself on the internet. A new all time low.
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:29|
Oh and forgive my tardiness in answering I have a life that doesnt involve sitting on a pc, role-playing being a male model!
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:30|
"I have a wife"
So did Elton John mate!
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 15:30|
Norah Jones .. ? Who told yer that ?
It were Norah Batty, mert !!
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:32|
No doubt you take turns at being the "wife" flar, with your gay lover.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:32|
"Flar, do you realise how sad you sound trying to convince everyone youre a male model?"
Are you saying that calling me "gay" because Ive done some modelling is NOT pathetic Mido?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:35|
Im just saying male models as a rule are gay. You most know that, "being" from that world?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:38|
But you were using gay as an insult?
I can only assume that you think i am much better looking than you and you feel threatened by it, so you denounce me as gay to address your own feelings of insecurity.
Just be yourself mate...
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:40|
No, I assume, you are living in a sad little fantasy world, where in youre mind you think people are impressed by your little fairy tales of being a male model.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:43|
why does it bother you then?
Im not going to steal your "wife" just because i am tall, muscular and handsome...
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:43|
If you are a gay male model you aint likely to have been with a woman, hence proving my initial argument.
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:44|
You'd only be interested if she was Kylie anyway.
|God_ Posted on 15/08/2008 15:44|
Flar you come across as a complete tail in this thread.
That is all.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:46|
ME COME ACROSS AS A TAIL???
This clown thinks just because someone is good looking enough to do a bit of modelling they must be gay! AND IM THE TAIL??
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:48|
"You'd only be interested if she was Kylie anyway."
Im guessing she'd be more of a Madge Bishop mate? Or Mrs Mangel?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:49|
Or are you already married to Kylie in your little world?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:52|
Mido - Im struggling to undertstand your point. Is it:
1. You think Im lying about doing some modelling
2. I might be gay
3. Im a very attractive man and that unerves you as you are not
4. Your wife has just left you
5. all of the above
|toxic_bob Posted on 15/08/2008 15:53|
'i am tall, muscular and handsome...'
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:54|
Dont hate me for being honest Bob!
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 15:55|
My point is your a sad fantasist, whos trying to make himself out to be a model as no doubt you are a right ass face in real life and this is your way to escape the horrors of your exsistence.
And when you can see that, then you will be on the way to recovery.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 15:56|
are you trying to goad me into posting the shots? so you can stroke the white owl over them?
|MarlonD Posted on 15/08/2008 15:58|
flar, the only thing you could model is calipers
|toxic_bob Posted on 15/08/2008 15:58|
Though this thread would have been more fun if we'd stayed on the topic of lardy bitches.
The rippling is more pronounced, and the spam purse more accesible, if you go at it dog-stylee
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:00|
Bob- I couldnt agree more!
I didnt post this thread with the aim of having to defend myself against awful rumours from an ugly, hompophobic idiot!
Jealousy is an awful thing. Just because I have taken a string of beautiful, lythe lovers some people seem to resent my success.
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR ME MIDO!
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 16:06|
If the fanatasy's make you happy, Im happy! At least it keeps you off the streets.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:07|
are you imagining me naked Mido?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 16:09|
Youre the one with the vivid imaganition Flar.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:10|
fact that you didnt deny it, noted with some concern..
|grantus Posted on 15/08/2008 16:13|
Flar's telling the truth, he goes for skinny ugly lasses instead of good looking ones that might have something to get hold of.
|The_Enigma Posted on 15/08/2008 16:18|
flar all this boasting about your " string of beautiful, lythe lovers" is rather tiresome.
Those who do don't talk and those who talk don't do.
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 16:21|
I just dont feel the need to justify myself to a sad fantasist.
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 16:21|
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:31|
why do you hate the succesful?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 15/08/2008 16:32|
Why do the successful always think everyone is jealous of them!
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 16:33|
When you can spell it, then I can hate you.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:33|
see the blatant jealousy above ^^^^^^
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:34|
come on Ned, you must have had to put up with a lot of mud thrown your way when you were a sailor boy!
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 16:34|
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:36|
in this instance, success with beautiful women.
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 16:36|
I never was a sailor boy.
I was a Chief Petty Officer Weapons Electical Artificer .. so, show some respect, you model !!
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 16:38|
|The_Enigma Posted on 15/08/2008 16:39|
Did you have to dress up like a member of The Village People then Ned?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 15/08/2008 16:40|
What I see above is someone having a dig and you biting at everything they say! It's not cos your successful it's cos your willing to bite onto everything he's saying! Don't forget we only have your word for it that you are "successful" You will come on and brag about only "svelte and gorgeous" women you have been with again only your word for that too! Nothing wrong in "larging" it up with the right big girlof course!
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:40|
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 16:42|
Yeh, that was me in them there Village People ..
Now bend over, you lucky boy !!
|TMG501 Posted on 15/08/2008 16:42|
This has all the makings of a Pinkponce v Kevin_Bacon_Butties relationship
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:44|
paul grues - I was defending myself against jealous homophobes who assume because i did some modelling I must be "one of them"
are you a big lass like?
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 16:45|
Flar, I guess your initial post was mere rhetoric.
|Link: Model types|
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 15/08/2008 16:45|
Now will you disrespect me if I say I am?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:47|
Not at all, unlike some on here I dont have any pre-conceptions about people
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 16:49|
FFS are you still going on Flar? Shouldnt you be in the tropics somewhere modelling with loads and loads of fit lasses, then shagging them, instead of wasting your life on here?
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 16:51|
Flar - "Has anyone on here? Im on about a really big lass. Im intigued, is it like jumping on a big bouncy castle?"
That reads like a pre-conception to me.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 15/08/2008 16:51|
Glad to hear you are a like minded person and never pre-judge! You oviously enjoy all this mud-slinging though cos you wouldn't bite otherwise.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:51|
HI Mido, no, as I mentioned I havent modelled for a couple of years now.
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 16:52|
was it back in the 60's ?
|Midosparmo Posted on 15/08/2008 16:53|
Too fat now? Gone through a windscreen?
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 16:54|
I remember you ............... !!!
|Link: Flar, strutting his stuff down Linthorpe|
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:56|
Barnes - The presence of the ? symbol at the end of a phrase generally means it is what we call a "question" rather than a "statement"...
Thank you for your valuable contribution though...
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 16:57|
Mido, not at all Im still very lithe and athletic you'll be pleased to know
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 17:01|
How big are you Pauls, on a scale of one to ten?
|Dynamo Posted on 15/08/2008 17:02|
Fat women are like mopeds. They are both great to ride until your mates find out.
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 17:05|
Are you actually calling to attention my lack of English grammatical knowledge?
"Has anyone on here? Im on about a really big lass. Im intigued, is it like jumping on a big bouncy castle?"
The word 'overtone' comes to mind.
Arguing online is foolish. No matter who wins we're both idiots.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 17:07|
"Are you actually calling to attention my lack of english gramatical knowledge."
No, just your ignorance of questyion marks and their use. see above ^^^
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 17:09|
Perhaps it was a key slip, like how you have put a y in question.
. is next to ?
t is next to y
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 17:11|
that doenst explain your earlier confusion between a question and a statement
|gibbos_left_boot Posted on 15/08/2008 17:13|
you can do what you want to fatties, they dont have feelings
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 17:14|
My confusion between a question and a statement is a discussion you've been having with yourself.
I really know not what you are referring to.
|NedKat Posted on 15/08/2008 17:18|
Some of you children need to start treating women like people, and not like pieces of meat. All women are beautiful, it's the way they are. Some of them are pretty, some not so pretty, some a larger than others, but one thing is for certain - they are all beautiful in their very own way .. !!
Stop thinking with the little head, and try concentrating with the big head !!!
|bblf Posted on 15/08/2008 17:18|
My mate had a thing for really big women, he was quite small.He used to sit on their laps in clubs etc. When he was P***ed he looked like a ventriloquists dummy sat there. He used to work on the basis of them being more likely to let him shag them through lack of other prospects. Funnily enough the girl he married was about 4 times bigger than him.
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 17:19|
you are boring me Barnes, at least Parmo had some interesting gay taunts, your crack stinks!
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 15/08/2008 17:22|
I've never tested the IQ of a model.
Has anyone on here? I'm on about male models. I'm intrigued, are they all idiots?
Now would you say from that series of questions, the person asking has a preconception about male models?
|rubber_soles Posted on 15/08/2008 17:23|
Who's claiming to be a model?
|flar Posted on 15/08/2008 17:24|
"Who's claiming to be a model?"
|rubber_soles Posted on 15/08/2008 17:26|
Is it you, Trigger?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 15/08/2008 19:32|
For gibbos_left_boot, you are an arseh*le!, Nedkat hope you meant I LOVE YOU! real man you are!! and for flar on a scale of one to ten I'm about a six!.
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 12:16|
so liek a size 14 then?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 16:15|
Size 18 actually! Now is that too awful to comprehend?
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 16:17|
As I said above, I was intrigued by bigger women - I didnt think it was awful.
some other kids said that tho ^^^
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 16:20|
Well I would just say, that if you've never tried it, you don't know what your missing!
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 16:21|
Fair enough. So are you going to let me in then?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 16:23|
Male model knocks on my door! That would cause tongues to wag, and not just MINE! Smiley face with a wink!, can't do them faces!
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 16:24|
I wasnt talking about your door..
|NedKat Posted on 18/08/2008 16:27|
Young love ! How precious ...
And yes, I did mean it, Ms.Sockwasher ..
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 16:28|
You'd have to knock on my door to get to were you want to be, and I do know were you mean! A question though, would that be the "front" door or "back door?" Curiosity that's all!
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 16:30|
depends on whether you turn out to be a bloke!
|mailinator Posted on 18/08/2008 16:32|
You are hardly helping dispel the bigger bird cliche. One post we get your size 18 mentioned, a few posts later you are talking about taking it up the gary glitter.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 16:32|
You can take my word for it, I am not a bloke! HONESTLY.
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 16:47|
how do i know that tho? you might just be midos parmo in disguise setting me up for a sausage session!
|king_hellfire Posted on 18/08/2008 17:01|
'Are you actually calling to attention my lack of english gramatical knowledge.'
If he isn't, then he should be. There are two M's in grammatical, the 'E' in English should be capitalised and you didn't use a question mark at the end of your sentence.
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 17:11|
do you know what i mean!!!
|Monkey_Spunk_Moped Posted on 18/08/2008 17:14|
Actually the one 'M' in 'gramatical' is a spelling mistake rather than a grammatical error and you appear to have ended a sentence with a preposition:
'If he isn't, then he should be.'
Other than that you're in a perfect position to criticise.
|king_hellfire Posted on 18/08/2008 17:18|
But i wasn't the one calling people idiots whilst making grammatical and spelling errors myself.
|BarnesBoroFC Posted on 18/08/2008 17:21|
Happy now king_hellfire?
|gary_llama Posted on 18/08/2008 17:21|
"Imagine peeling back the rolls to find her flange, only to discover?
a) An empty Kit-Kat wrapper"
|king_hellfire Posted on 18/08/2008 17:27|
'and you appear to have ended a sentence with a preposition:'
Cut and pasted from dictionary.com....
The often heard but misleading “rule” that a sentence should not end with a preposition is transferred from Latin, where it is an accurate description of practice. But English grammar is different from Latin grammar, and the rule does not fit English.
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 17:28|
its strange how a thread develops!
You lot have bored my potential "bouncy-love" teacher off!
|Jam! Posted on 18/08/2008 17:32|
I'm a fan
|king_hellfire Posted on 18/08/2008 17:34|
You should just go out and sh*g a fat lass and be done with it, although if i were you i would start with a slightly chubby lass and work your way up the weight divisions until you feel you can't, or don't want to, go any heavier.
|Helen Posted on 18/08/2008 17:47|
Come on Flar get a pic of yourself up in your modelling days - I'm always up for a bit of eye candy on a Monday tea time !
PS Im not fat or skinny - BMW of 22 - lol
|flar Posted on 18/08/2008 17:49|
Jam - I was reading your comments about corluka last week, I think we may be in a similar business. Drop me ur email address to firstname.lastname@example.org and we can have a chat.
|Monkey_Spunk_Moped Posted on 18/08/2008 17:53|
I'm aware that there is an argument that sometimes it may be acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition if one is taking a relaxed view, however in this instance because the preposition is unnecessary then it is never acceptable.
Try broadening your search away from dictionary.com and you will see that I'm correct.
|king_hellfire Posted on 18/08/2008 18:01|
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 18/08/2008 18:17|
Mailinator, it was a joke you know harmless fun and flirting. it doesn't mean I would necessarily do it! Flar it would take more than that to frighten off the "bouncy love" teacher!
|flar Posted on 19/08/2008 09:38|
mallinator you sexist oaf!
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 10:25|
|flar Posted on 19/08/2008 11:34|
when is my lesson??
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 12:48|
When are you free??
|flar Posted on 19/08/2008 13:12|
Could pop in for ten minutes tonight?
|mailinator Posted on 19/08/2008 13:13|
Harmless fun and flirting? That's when you are subtle and clever. Stating you want him to chuck one up the dirtbox is neither.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:05|
mailinator, some of us may flirt in different ways and at different levels, even low down dirty levels, so each to his own. Flar there is one thing I haben't asked you..............How big are you on a scale of one to ten (inches)?
|flar Posted on 19/08/2008 15:07|
About three, that's average isn't it?
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:10|
Is that a hard or soft centre ?
|flar Posted on 19/08/2008 15:13|
I couldn't possibly answer that on a 'family' messageboard!!!
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:14|
It's bit late to come over all shy!
|Roady41 Posted on 19/08/2008 15:45|
I once did one when i was younger just slapped her Ar*e and rode the ripples.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:47|
That's been done so many times on here. Can't anyone be original anymore?
|Roady41 Posted on 19/08/2008 15:48|
This would not have been so bad had she not been a ginger haired punk rocker as well.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:51|
I suppose you could call that "original"
|Roady41 Posted on 19/08/2008 15:51|
Let me tell you she was definately original.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:52|
Can't have been all bad you still remember her!
|Roady41 Posted on 19/08/2008 15:54|
It was one of those thhings i made my mouth go before seeing her these were CB Radio days and when she turned up i could not back down.
|paulsugruessockwasher Posted on 19/08/2008 15:57|
Still sounds like the ride of your life!