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Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 18:16
Hoof This Thread Please

If I'm not around, could someone do it for me??

Ta.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 18:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof

Capybara Posted on 18/1 18:19
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof.

littlejimmy Posted on 18/1 19:32
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Goof.

redbook Posted on 18/1 19:35
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no

joseph2001 Posted on 18/1 19:35
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no way!

pisces Posted on 18/1 19:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no, no, no way!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Please?

It's important.

Buddy Posted on 18/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

yerjokinarenya?

joseph2001 Posted on 18/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no theres no limit.....

blaggamuffin Posted on 18/1 19:45
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Why?

The_Needle_Threader Posted on 18/1 19:47
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no, i wont be a part of this

its silly

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 19:49
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hrumph, well you lot aren't much fun then are you.

Go on, try it, you mightlike it!

P.S Blagga, any Assistant Head jobs going your way?

ray192 Posted on 18/1 20:00
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

mcbrid Posted on 18/1 20:07
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You there? GS?

mickmac

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 20:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Just off to play FMTTM footy Mick, will be back at my PC around 10 ish.

Hoof the thread for me!!

mcbrid Posted on 18/1 20:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

OK mate - see you later

mickmac

chris_white_22 Posted on 18/1 21:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

nope...

A mass civil disobedience campaign should take place and we all ought to reply with reasons why we won't be hoofing this.

I won't because I can't think of a good reply.

mcbrid Posted on 18/1 21:57
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I agree - I'm not going to either

uncle_harry Posted on 18/1 22:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Seeing as it's you

Rocky_Rhythm Posted on 18/1 23:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I won't hoof it unless you give me a fiver.

Kerchinnggg....

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 18/1 23:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You'd think at least one of you would've had the decency to HOOF this while you were here!!

john_lillie Posted on 18/1 23:51
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof'd

mcbrid Posted on 18/1 23:53
re: Hoof This Thread Please

thats me clocking off now

g'night

Mobb_Deep Posted on 18/1 23:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

He only wants a 100 post thread.


DO NOT CONTINUE TO FUEL THIS OUTRAGEOUS GREED

mcbrid Posted on 19/1 0:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

ok - where is that bloody night shift.

sod it can't wait any longer

Wakey_Boro_Fan Posted on 19/1 8:01
re: Hoof This Thread Please

HOOF
O
O
F

edit: I know it is early in the morning, but come on - noone should ever spell hoof wrong!

--- Post edited by Wakey_Boro_Fan on 19/1 8:02 ---

GrumpyOldGit Posted on 19/1 8:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Over here, son, on me 'ead....

Buddy Posted on 19/1 9:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Shabby attempt.

john_lillie Posted on 19/1 11:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

London_Boro Posted on 19/1 11:19
re: Hoof This Thread Please

It's worth a hoof if he's that desperate for a tonner.

On yer 'ead son !!

janplanner Posted on 19/1 13:09
re: Hoof This Thread Please

chip (and pin)

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 19/1 19:54
re: Hoof This Thread Please

If you hoof this message five times within the next 12 hours, you'll be sent a nice little screensaver of the Budweiser frogs.

I did it, and I'm now the envy of all my friends.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 19/1 19:54
re: Hoof This Thread Please

...and my neighbours.

--- Post edited by Goal_Scrounger on 19/1 19:54 ---

kay_jay Posted on 19/1 22:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I have never HOOFED in my life, so I am not starting now

MyBoro Posted on 19/1 22:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

as you asked nicely

rozi Posted on 19/1 22:39
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Always was a soft touch for a good scrounger, have a hoof from me.

blondie_dcfc Posted on 20/1 1:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Eeeeh - guess it's down to me in the wee-small hours to shove up a horse's foot!

blondie.dcfc
X

PNGfulham Posted on 20/1 1:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

exactly....as one of the guys in the office just mentioned..
doggie stlye is out horse stlye is in..
hoof
hoof
hoof

Wakey_Boro_Fan Posted on 20/1 8:03
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Clip-Clop

mattrich Posted on 20/1 10:44
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoooooooooooooof!

scuzzmonster Posted on 20/1 11:18
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Outrageous egotism. No way.

MyBoro Posted on 20/1 13:01
re: Hoof This Thread Please

When will this thread stop

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 20/1 20:00
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Who knows?

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 20/1 21:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I'll do it me bloody self then. Humph. Women.

chris_white_22 Posted on 20/1 21:58
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Glad I wasn't dumb enough to hoof this.

uncle_harry Posted on 20/1 22:51
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I understand. You found paradise in teesside, had a good trade, made a good living. The

police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But

uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Uncle Harry Hoof my thread ." -- But you don't ask

with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead,

you come into my house on the day im washing my feet , and you uh ask me to do

hoofing, for money.

uncle_harry Posted on 20/1 22:58
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Goal Scrounger ... Goal Scrounger... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had

you come to me in friendship, then this scum that refused to hoof your thread would be suffering

this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies,

then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.



( I like this game)

uncle_harry Posted on 20/1 22:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I'm going for a third portion back in a minute...

uncle_harry Posted on 20/1 23:01
re: Hoof This Thread Please

...Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh,

until that day -- accept this hoof as a gift on my annual winter feet washing and toenail clipping day

uncle_harry Posted on 20/1 23:22
re: Hoof This Thread Please

(last one of the night)


Ah, give this to ah, Buddy. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried

away. I'm mean, we're not mackems, despite of what this schoolteacher says.

PNGfulham Posted on 20/1 23:33
re: Hoof This Thread Please

horse.....style....
....
better than doggie by 1 1/2 feet

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 21/1 0:44
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Uncle_Harry, we've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel,for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here (not FrenchFrank): you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt and have never joined the FMTTM Soulseek room for this reason.


Oh, and HOOF.

PNGfulham Posted on 21/1 0:52
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hey goal_scrounger..

.
.
u sure it isnt HOLE_scrounger?

junk_yard_dog Posted on 21/1 1:20
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I swore to myself I wouldn't pander to this...

MinPin Posted on 21/1 9:48
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Look, can we let this lie now?

Just leave it.

shaun_84 Posted on 21/1 10:08
re: Hoof This Thread Please

No, it's important. Hoofla

Wooper_Trooper Posted on 21/1 10:10
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I cant believe i am posting....
HOOF.

john_lillie Posted on 21/1 10:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

chris1976 Posted on 21/1 12:38
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Whats with all this hoofing?

Just get it on the deck.

Wakey_Boro_Fan Posted on 21/1 14:33
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Wimbledon.

1980's


HOOOOOOOF

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 21/1 17:28
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Well done daytime team!

PNGFulham, the only thing I'm sure of, is that I have no idea what you're on about!?

uncle_harry Posted on 21/1 19:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Now listen to me, you smooth-talking son-of-a-b**ch! Let me lay it on the line for you and

your boss, whoever he is. Goal Scrounger will never get this thread hoofed I don't care how many -

- daigo guinea Wapp greaseball gumbahs come out of the woodwork!

--- Post edited by uncle_harry on 21/1 19:56 ---

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 21/1 20:07
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fu_ck do you think you're talking to? Oh, yeah? Ok. Huh?

GrumpyOldGit Posted on 21/1 20:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

The hoof? You want the hoof? You can't HANDLE the hoof!

Red_Clowne Posted on 21/1 20:23
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Crump, crump, crump, crump, crump, crump, (sound of Red Clowne taking a run-up) hoof


GrumpyOldGit Posted on 21/1 20:25
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Are we allowed a delicate chip instead of a hoof?

uncle_harry Posted on 22/1 0:48
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Mr Scrounger, I said that I would read your thread because, I heard that you're a serious man, to be treated with

respect.

(then, after sitting)

But uh, I must say "no" to you -- and I'll give you my reasons. It's true, I have a lot of friends

in politics, but they wouldn't be friendly very long if they knew my business was hoofing this thread

instead of gambling, which they rule that as a -- harmless vice. But hoofing is a dirty business.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 22/1 17:38
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Uncle Harry, I never wanted this for you. I worked my whole life, I don't apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the string held by all those big shots. I don't apologize, that's my life. But I thought that when it was your time that you would be the one to hoof the thread.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 23/1 0:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof for Uncle_H

uncle_harry Posted on 23/1 1:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You talk about hoofing -- is hoofing gonna bring your son back to you? Or my boy to me? I forgo the vengeance of my son -- But I have selfish reasons. My youngest son -- was
forced to leave this country, --
-- because of this Norwich business. All right -- and I have to make arrangements to bring him back here safely -- cleared of all these false charges. But I'm a superstitious man -- and
if some unlucky accident should befall him -- if he should get asked a question by boroprogrammes
or if he should reply to that bears dopey threads -- or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning -- then I'm going to blame some of the people on this board. And then I do not hoof

toots Posted on 23/1 1:08
re: Hoof This Thread Please


Goal_Scrounger Posted on 23/1 1:35
re: Hoof This Thread Please

In the hopes of clearing my family name -- and in the sincere desire to give my children the fair share of the FMTTM way of life, without a blemish on their name and background -- I have appeared before this message board and given it all the cooperation in my power.

I find it a great dishonour for me personally to have to deny that I am a boo boy.

I wish to have the following noted for the record. That I served my football club faithfully and honourably in League Division two and -- was awarded the Junior Reds Cross for action in defence of my team.

That I have never been arrested or indicted for any crime what-so-ever. That no proof linking me to any Rivals conspiracy whether it is called "Barcode" or "Mackem" or whatever other name you wish to give has ever been made public.

I have not taken refuge behind admin as it was my right to do. I challenge this board -- to produce any witness or evidence against. And if it does not -- I hope they will have the decency to hoof my thread with the same publicity with which they have now besmirched it.

Carvalhos_barnet Posted on 23/1 4:39
re: Hoof This Thread Please

HUTH

john_lillie Posted on 23/1 9:43
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hump

joseph2001 Posted on 23/1 10:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

still going,thought it would have died by now,still wont make 100, not with my help anyway.

FwenchFwank Posted on 23/1 12:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I disagree joseph, definate hundred potential in this one, hoof.

Badger_ Posted on 23/1 12:21
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Let those who refuse to Hoof on such a day
as this hold there manhoods cheap

joseph2001 Posted on 23/1 14:30
re: Hoof This Thread Please

its absurd,what kind of fools contribute to a thread like this?

uncle_harry Posted on 23/1 17:01
re: Hoof This Thread Please

and before we go back to our sunday film as musical interlude from John Lennon with this track off the Imagine album

I'm sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the hoof
Just gimme some hoof

I've had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the hoof
Just gimme some hoof

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of hope
Money for dope
Money for rope

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Money for dope
Money for rope

I'm sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mama's little chauvinists
All I want is the hoof
Just gimme some hoof now

I've had enough of watching scenes
Of schizophrenic, ego-centric, paranoiac, prima-donnas
All I want is the hoof now
Just gimme some hoof

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
It's money for dope
Money for rope

Ah, I'm sick and tired of hearing things
from uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites
All I want is the hoof now
Just gimme some hoof now

I've had enough of reading things
by neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the hoof now
Just gimme some hoof now

All I want is the hoof now
Just gimme some hoof now
All I want is the hoof
Just gimme some hoof...

uncle_harry Posted on 23/1 20:49
re: Hoof This Thread Please

..and now back to our sunday film..

I intend to squeeze you. I don't like your kind of
people. I don't like to see you come out to this clean meassageboard in
your oily hair -- dressed up in those silk suits - and try to
pass yourselves off as decent Boro fans. I'll hoof for
you, but the fact is, I despise your masquerade -- the dishonest
way you pose yourself. Yourself, and your whole f*****g family.

no offence like

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 23/1 21:05
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You contemptible pig. I remained celebate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting in celibacy for you, with 300 friends and relatives in attendance.

My uncle hired the best Romanian caterer in the state.

To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party my father used up his last favours with Mad Pete Trollo.

So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle and for the common good, I must now hoof you and your brother.

krazyk Posted on 23/1 21:10
re: Hoof This Thread Please

why

WilmslowRed Posted on 23/1 21:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Terry Malloy: It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors in the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.

Charley: Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money.

Terry: You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley.

Charley : Enough. Get this hoofed. We'll miss last orders.

Terry : Ok.

uncle_harry Posted on 23/1 21:23
re: Hoof This Thread Please

salut - quality hoofing gents

uncle_harry Posted on 23/1 22:43
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I enjoy watching football in the afternoon, one of the things I
enjoy about this country; snooker, too. I've loved snooker ever
since Shackerooni fixed the World Championships in 1999.

[They both chuckle.]

I heard you had some trouble. Stupid -- people behaving like that
with puns Important thing is, that you're alright. Good health --
the most important thing in the world. More than success, more
than money -- more than power.

[ Goal Scrounger stands up and shuts the door; moves the chairs closer as
UH turns up the TV.]

GS

I came here because there is gonna be more hoofing. I want you
to know about it before it happens so that there's no danger of
starting another thread.

U.H

Nobody wants another thread.

Buddy Posted on 24/1 9:34
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Sorry, does this still need hoofing?

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 24/1 16:38
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Erm..yes please!

shaun_84 Posted on 24/1 16:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I always miss this thread when it's in need of a good hoofing. One day I'll catch it right down the bottom and I'll give it the hoof of its life

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

10 more hoofs required

joseph2001 Posted on 24/1 20:00
re: Hoof This Thread Please

nein!

roswell Posted on 24/1 20:10
re: Hoof This Thread Please

WTF is 'hoofing'?

grandads_slippers Posted on 24/1 20:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

not far now

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof 7

hoof is booting a thread up the board

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:12
re: Hoof This Thread Please

that was 6 sorry, this is 5

roswell Posted on 24/1 20:13
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Well I'm not doing that.

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

3

wheres scrounger gone?

FwenchFwank Posted on 24/1 20:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Whey hey!!

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

100

roswell Posted on 24/1 20:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hard lines John, this one is mine.

--- Post edited by roswell on 24/1 20:17 ---

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

now

john_lillie Posted on 24/1 20:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

premature and overdue. oh well

FwenchFwank Posted on 24/1 20:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

john_lillie?? Are you obsessed with hundred posts??

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 24/1 20:22
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Silly buggers.

Over 100 posts on this thread???!

What on earth do you all keep hoofing it for?!!

joseph2001 Posted on 24/1 20:27
re: Hoof This Thread Please

well thats just fine gs....seeing as 18 of them are yours!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 24/1 20:45
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Damn.

You spotted that did you??


Oh well, don't forget.....I'm a teacher. It's "Do as I say, not as I do"!!

GtownBeerBelly Posted on 24/1 21:45
re: Hoof This Thread Please

eight myself for doing this

bblf Posted on 24/1 22:34
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Are people still hoofing this because I certainly wont be. Its silly .

Theodore_Lunacy Posted on 24/1 22:44
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Reply Club

MyBoro Posted on 24/1 22:48
re: Hoof This Thread Please

at least it will stop now.

It is nice though, how far you can get just by asking

PNGfulham Posted on 24/1 23:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

i'm pretty sure Red_Clowne's got one bigger than a Clown's
pocket..
.
.
as a Q...would that convince u Goal_scrounger to change ur name to
Hole_scrounger?
.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 24/1 23:31
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Again my Antipodean cottager......I haven't the feintest idea what you are on about!

PNGfulham Posted on 24/1 23:48
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.
.
OK.....we'll let it rest then..
.
.
at least i thnk uncle_harry was refering to me with the
"daigo guinea Wapp greaseball gumbahs come out of the woodwork!".
.
only cos it had a ref to guinea?
.
.
tht should lay your mind to rest.
.
.

uncle_harry Posted on 25/1 0:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

to celebrate another noble achievement by the good burghers of the board

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of hoofers;
For he to-day that hoofs with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That hoofed with us upon Saint Crispin's day, (or Monday night if you cant make it on St Crispin's Day)

Kiwi_In_Disguise Posted on 25/1 6:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

... What the fcuk has been going on here...

PNGfulham Posted on 25/1 6:58
re: Hoof This Thread Please

ur rite...?!?
.
.
.
i thnk uncle harry has just been beaten senceless
by auntie harriott

he's talking garbled

uncle_harry Posted on 25/1 15:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

garbled eh?
sorry I'll try be be a bit simpler especially for you.

A Burns Night contributory hoof courtesy of Mr Zoo phonic


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftan o' the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn they stretch an' strive,
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scronful' view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye Pow's wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae shinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if you wish her gratefu' pray'r,
Gie her a Hoof! *

Hapas Posted on 25/1 16:11
re: Hoof This Thread Please

This thread will become a shrine! And punks and skins and Rastas will all gather round and all hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader!

And all the grown-ups will say, "But why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say, "Haven't you heard? The Thread is dead! The People's Poet is dead!"

And then one particularly sensitive and articulate teenager will say, "Why kids, do you understand nothing? How can The Thread be dead when we still have it's poems?"

Then another kid will say... [GoalScrounger emits a long, loud hoof].

[The camera zooms in suddenly on a late poster at the bottom of The Thread]
Late Poster: Don't look at me, I'm irrelevant.

uncle_harry Posted on 25/1 16:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

thats as moving as the beach boys singing the bit in Christmas Carol when he becomes a goody at the last minute and then Bambis mam dies and...oh everything

ExiledInStoke Posted on 25/1 17:09
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Between Marx and Marzipan in the dictionary
There was Mary
Between the deep blue sea and the Devil
That was me
If ever anyone could help me with
My obsession with
The young Suzannah York
It was Mary

In my pink pyjamas
She asked me for something
I gave her the short answer
She read our stars out loud
And I knew then that we should have gone sailling
But we stayed home instead
Fighting on the waterbed
Like a honeymoon couple on drugs
Me and Mary

What happened in the past
Remained a mystery
Of natural history
She should have been the last but she was just the latest
If she'd wanted to be a farmers wife
I would endure that muddy life
I would dig for victory

And the sound of happy couples coupling happily in the dark
While you and I sat down to tea
I remember you said to me
That no amount of poetry will mend this broken heart
But you can put the hoover round if you want to make a start

The boys who came to the shop
Always made her laugh
Much more than I did
When I told her this must stop
She didn't bat an eyelid
She said "you know honey, it's such a shame
You'll never be any good at this game
You bruise too easily"
So said Mary

All my friends from school
Introduced me
To their spouses
while I'm left standing here
With my hands down
The front of my trousers
I just don't know what's to be done
I wonder sometimes how did Dad meet Mum
And how did they conceive of me?
Tell Me Mary

Her two brothers tool me out
Of circulation
For the duration
And we went our seperate ways
But does she still love me?
She still has my door key

Like a bully boy
In a Benneton shop
You're never happy with what you've got
Till what you've got has gone
Sorry Mary

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 25/1 19:31
re: Hoof This Thread Please

And you may ask yourself
What is this beautiful thread?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that hoof go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

joseph2001 Posted on 25/1 19:39
re: Hoof This Thread Please

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...fcuk you

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

now let it lie

uncle_harry Posted on 25/1 19:42
re: Hoof This Thread Please

It's still alive. I hit it with five shots, and it's still alive! Well that's bad luck for me, and bad luck for you if you make that hoof!

joseph2001 Posted on 25/1 19:47
re: Hoof This Thread Please

All those dirty words
They make us look so dumb
Been drinking far too much
And neither of us mean what we say

[Chorus]
WELL YOU AND I
COLLAPSED IN LOVE
AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE MADE IT, YES IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE
MADE IT TO THE END

What happened to us
Soon it will be gone forever
Infatuated only with ourselves
And neither of us can think straight anymore

WELL YOU AND I
COLLAPSED IN LOVE
AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE MADE IT, YES IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE
MADE IT TO THE END

WELL YOU AND I
COLLAPSED IN LOVE
AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE MADE IT, YES IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE
MADE IT TO THE END

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 25/1 19:51
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Oh, no, not I.
I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to hoof I know Iíll stay alive
Iíve got all my life to live and Iíve got all my hoofs to give
And Iíll survive, I will survive, hey, hey!

MinPin Posted on 25/1 20:49
re: Hoof This Thread Please

And in The End
The goals you make
Are equal to
The Hooooooofs you take

Red_Clowne Posted on 25/1 23:26
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Crump

(sound of Red_Clowne as he starts his run up in freshly fallen snow)

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

(It's a long run up this time ......)

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

(... because I've got a distant target)

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Crump

Hoof!

(As Red_Clowne toe-ends PNGFulham straight between the chuds and sends him soaring out of sight and back to his antipodean cess-pit - now PHUCK OFF!!!)


ray192 Posted on 25/1 23:34
re: Hoof This Thread Please

p.n.g. dont fcuk with red_clowne.

PNGfulham Posted on 25/1 23:40
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.
.
.
. C R A C K !!
.
.
.
the sound as PNGfulham effortlessly pulls Red_Clowne and his pocket over the square leg fence..
.
.
.
.
the crowd hoof's in awe....

PoshSmog Posted on 25/1 23:42
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

ExiledInStoke Posted on 26/1 0:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Oh, no, didn't mean to hit the HOOF button, sorry..........

Wakey_Boro_Fan Posted on 26/1 7:43
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I cannot beleive this is still so high up the board. I refuse to Hoof it.

PNGfulham Posted on 26/1 7:49
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.
.
.
.
.
. "C R A C K ! !"
.
.
.
.
.
.
its another SIX !!!
.
.
.
<crowd goes>
hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof
hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof
hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof hoof

.
.
.
. H O O F !

uncle_harry Posted on 26/1 13:06
re: Hoof This Thread Please

LEBOWSKI
My wife is not the issue here. I
hope that my wife will someday learn
to live on her allowance, which is
ample, but if she doesn't, sir, that
will be her problem, not mine, just
as your thread is your problem, just as
every bum's lot in life is his own
responsibility regardless of whom he
chooses to blame. I didn't blame
anyone for the loss of my 'march of the many badgers'threads, some
chinaman in Korea took them from me
but I went out and achieved anyway.
I can't hoof your thread, sir,
only you can.

towz Posted on 26/1 13:09
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I can't believe i have wasted precious seconds, seconds that i will never be able to regain, of my short stay on this plane of existence by reading this thread. there is no way i would even consider hoofing it.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 26/1 13:12
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Thanks for the advice Uncle_H.


HOOF

Hapas Posted on 26/1 16:20
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You were one
You were meant to be one
And you jumped into my thread
And laughed
And kissed me on the cheek
And then were gone
Forever
Not quite

Black sky in the daytime
And I donít much mind hoofing
When there is nothing left
To hoof for anymore
Just the never layed
The never read symphonies

tony_block19 Posted on 26/1 16:31
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoofity.

uncle_harry Posted on 26/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I see you hoofed your way into the
hundreds. Deos mio, man. Liam and
me, we're gonna hoof you up.

--- Post edited by uncle_harry on 26/1 19:42 ---

MyBoro Posted on 26/1 22:21
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Back to the top

ray192 Posted on 26/1 22:44
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

PNGfulham Posted on 27/1 0:53
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.
.
.
.
.
.
FOUR
.
.
.
SIX
.
.
.
<Richie Beneau>.
.
.
"cracking short that.....HOOF"

bluetitch Posted on 27/1 1:40
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Have read
with dread
this thread.
Brum
is come
to the prem.
Be warned.

Timboi Posted on 27/1 2:05
re: Hoof This Thread Please

el hoofio

PNGfulham Posted on 27/1 2:22
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.
.90th minute nil all
.
.
.
.neville conceeds a corner
.
.
.
.
.
well taken by job...
.
.
.to an unmanned Viduka on the edge of the area
.
.viduka chests it to his feet magnificently.
.
back flicks to JFH
.
.
smash...goooooooooooaaaaaaaallllll (are we in sth america?)....
.
..
.
.
.
ferguson "hoof"
.
.
McClaren "H O O F !"
.
.
martin tyler "oh I say.........HOOF"
.
.
.
.

.
.
maradonna......snort...HOOF !!!!!!!!

OverTheTopAussie Posted on 27/1 3:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

To hoof or not to hoof
that is the question.

No, I don't think I will.

RedJohnnie Posted on 27/1 4:19
re: Hoof This Thread Please

just come in from a Hooters bar in Texas, God those girls certainly make the Hoola Hoop and Limbo dancing a great spectators sport.

Hoofed back to the top and if anyone happens to see Mickey_2003 on line tell him to get in touch with his old man
Mickey_2003, I bet it was better than yours in Notts!!!!!!!!!!!

PNGfulham Posted on 27/1 4:49
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Red Johnny...you sound like a Walker..
.
.
but i agree..
.
.
i'm not gunna hoof anymore...
.
.
i'm gunna


H O O T E R


instead..

RedJohnnie Posted on 27/1 4:57
re: Hoof This Thread Please

PNG, not a walker but a worker. I get about a bit just lately

FwenchFwank Posted on 27/1 7:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

150.

john_lillie Posted on 27/1 9:46
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof
ho--
h-o-
h--f

singaporeboro Posted on 27/1 9:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

abig HOOF from sunny singapore

BigJimmy Posted on 27/1 10:36
re: Hoof This Thread Please

HOOOOOOF

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 27/1 22:31
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Haven't you people got anything better to do?!

PNGfulham Posted on 27/1 23:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

no.

hoof


(its better than speaking to the computer nerds on the other threads anyway)

ExiledInStoke Posted on 28/1 0:53
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Once more into the HOOF my friends, once more.....................

OverTheTopAussie Posted on 28/1 7:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

What hoof through yonder window breaks ?
It is the east and Juliet is ..... a horse ?

Hapas Posted on 28/1 11:25
re: Hoof This Thread Please

NARRATOR: Did the last 150 posts not really happen?

Look, there's Goal Scrounger. He's often in my dreams. And the uncle_harry guy. He was there too. And little PNGFulham, he seemed so happy, like a miracle had taken place. Was it a dream? Or was it real? It was HOOOOF night 2000 and everything seemed to be going as planned...


...NARRATOR: Now what most people don't know is that the man who was in charge of the decision desk at Fmttm that night, the man who called it for Scrounger was none other than Scrounger's first cousin, Buddy. How does someone like Goal_Scrounger get away with something like this?

Wakey_Boro_Fan Posted on 28/1 11:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

'ave it!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 28/1 17:37
re: Hoof This Thread Please

First cousin, twice removed if you don't mind hapas!

uncle_harry Posted on 28/1 18:27
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hooves off to viv stanshall

'Meet Old Scrotum the wrinkled retainer and Reg Smeeton the newsagent and self-styled walking encyclopaedia "...did you know there is no proper name for the back of the hoof?"

Parkfield_Reds Posted on 28/1 19:30
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Ahh, go on, go on, go on then. Tea any one?

mcbrid Posted on 29/1 0:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Wallop!

libardi Posted on 29/1 0:16
re: Hoof This Thread Please

gertcha!!!

GrumpyOldGit Posted on 29/1 12:02
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Can't let this slip off the page, can we?

woolyback Posted on 29/1 19:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

well there's nothing else to talk about is there?????

baz_3446 Posted on 29/1 19:57
re: Hoof This Thread Please

HoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoF

uncle_harry Posted on 29/1 20:02
re: Hoof This Thread Please

some inspirational hoofing called for

ahem

(sips glass of water and then grasps the edge of the lecturn)

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honour and good hoofing. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

ExiledInStoke Posted on 29/1 21:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Harry.


A simple HOOF would suffice..........

uncle_harry Posted on 30/1 0:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Look, let me explain something.Mr Instoke
I'm not just hoofing; you're hoofing.
I'm Uncle Harry. So that's
what you call me. That, or hoofer.
His Hoofeness. Or El hooferino, if,
you know, you're not into the whole
brevity thing--

GrumpyOldGit Posted on 30/1 10:07
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Morning all. And hoof.

mcbrid Posted on 30/1 17:10
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Wah heyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 30/1 22:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

A very "fcuked off with Microsoft" HOOF!!

shaun_84 Posted on 30/1 23:36
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof.

Hapas Posted on 31/1 9:32
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Well you can hoofed me like a lesson
You can bring me a lot of gold
But you just can't live in Texas
If you don't have a lot of soul


Mott The Hoofle

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 31/1 19:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You wouldn't let it lie would you?

Reg_Perrin Posted on 31/1 21:04
re: Hoof This Thread Please

WWwwwwhhhhhhooooooooo bullshiarrghh!!

needed an excuse to try out my new faces skill.....

mcbrid Posted on 1/2 19:27
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Splat!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 1/2 21:53
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Frustrated HOOF!

mcbrid Posted on 3/2 20:38
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Haway Goal Scrounger - do yer share man.

I can't keep this up much longer

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 3/2 20:40
re: Hoof This Thread Please

You're doing a splendid job in my absence sir!

If you check this little tale of woe, you'll understand why I can't shamelessly do it myself!!

Link: Woe!

ReturnOfTheJim Posted on 3/2 20:41
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoooof

IBarwickBoro Posted on 3/2 20:43
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Yes.

ray192 Posted on 3/2 20:45
re: Hoof This Thread Please

fcukhoof

FwenchFwank Posted on 3/2 21:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

fookin hell I thought this one died ages ago.

uncle_harry Posted on 4/2 0:27
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hewf - dang I even hewf like a mckem

FwenchFwank Posted on 4/2 12:19
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 4/2 23:02
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I'm still here!!

bunder_ben Posted on 4/2 23:26
re: Hoof This Thread Please

'I thought this thread was dead.'

An hour ago, I stood up and fired six shots into it and it just got up and walked away.

You couldn't have shot it six times.

You think I'm lying, Sheriff?

I shink you mished it! No man can take six shots.

I told you this isn't a man!

I watched it for 15 years, waiting for some secret, silent alarm. Until I realised there was nothing within it, neither conscience nor reason, that was even remotely human. ..It's the unconscious mind.

We are all afraid of the dark inside ourselves.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 5/2 0:03
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I am the resurrection and I am the life
I couldn't ever bring myself
To hate you as I'd like.

SmellMyCheez Posted on 5/2 10:22
re: Hoof This Thread Please


Link: Hoof

FwenchFwank Posted on 5/2 16:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Up Up and away!

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 6/2 1:14
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Nearly at the double century!!

mcbrid Posted on 6/2 20:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I refuse to help you get a double ton!

mickmac

mcbrid Posted on 6/2 20:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Ah fook!

mickmac

john_lillie Posted on 6/2 21:02
re: Hoof This Thread Please

196 i think

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 6/2 21:08
re: Hoof This Thread Please

ooh! only 3 more to go!!

jk1311 Posted on 6/2 21:15
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof ur own....

john_lillie Posted on 6/2 21:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

getting close now!

john_lillie Posted on 6/2 21:17
re: Hoof This Thread Please

200

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 6/2 21:21
re: Hoof This Thread Please

EIO EIO EIO EIO!!

(I can't believe they fell for it, snigger. It wasn't important really, I fibbed!!)

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 6/2 21:23
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I'd like to say a few "thank you"s. I couldn't have done it without your help, particularly Mickmac and Uncle_Harry for their unstinting devotion to the cause. I'll have to stop now as I'm overcome with emotion.

john_lillie Posted on 6/2 21:27
re: Hoof This Thread Please

but no mention to john_lillie for his 15 posts of the 200. well, i take them all back. 187 now.

Goal_Scrounger Posted on 6/2 21:45
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Ah, but I let you ahve the glory of posting the double-century post!!

GrumpyOldGit Posted on 7/2 7:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Oh go on then, one more.....

FwenchFwank Posted on 7/2 18:58
re: Hoof This Thread Please

hoof

Reg_Perrin Posted on 10/2 0:21
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Arrrghhh!!! .... ahh bollacks

Sorry guys I slipped

OverTheTopAussie Posted on 10/2 7:12
re: Hoof This Thread Please

I find your rejection of the arguments raised spurious and suggest that a more in depth analysis may lead you to a different conclusion.

Sorry, I put this on the wrong thread. My apologies.


--- Post edited by OverTheTopAussie on 10/2 7:13 ---

DazzaBoro2002 Posted on 11/2 0:40
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Middlesbrough FC, North East Team Of The Year 2004...

PNGfulham Posted on 11/2 2:55
re: Hoof This Thread Please

.




Middlesborough FC .... City of Middlesborough Team of the Year 2004

(a nose in front of Middlesborough u/14 Netball team)

sniff sniff

v smelly



hoof

FwenchFwank Posted on 12/2 10:52
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Hoof!!!!!!!!

Mr_Freedom_Cub Posted on 12/2 11:50
re: Hoof This Thread Please

The cub hoofs it.

DazzaBoro2002 Posted on 12/2 12:59
re: Hoof This Thread Please

Get back to the top.