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onthemap Posted on 5/7 11:50
Movie truths

Things you know if you only learn from movies

1. During all police investigations it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk them down.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. Large loft-style apartments are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
6. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
7. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
8. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
9. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
10. Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

boksic Posted on 5/7 11:52
re: Movie truths

11. The Eiffel Tower is visible from every hotel room window in Paris.

Gillandi Posted on 5/7 11:52
re: Movie truths

A mad last minute dash to the train station or airport will turn around any doomed marraige situation.

mishmash Posted on 5/7 11:52
re: Movie truths

12. All Phone numbers begin 555

The_GOAT Posted on 5/7 11:57
re: Movie truths

They cut the wrong wire in Lethal Weapon 2. That's how they became patrolmen instead.

onthemap Posted on 5/7 11:57
re: Movie truths

All rain is torrential.

boroboy75 Posted on 5/7 11:58
re: Movie truths

The token black man will always die.

Kilburn Posted on 5/7 11:58
re: Movie truths

Any computer password can be ‘hacked’ within a minute.

The driver’s airbag does not inflate on the first minor collision of a protracted car chase.

smoggieinmanc Posted on 5/7 11:59
re: Movie truths

Dectectives must re-visit the crime scene alone at night

mrweller Posted on 5/7 12:00
re: Movie truths

if someone stops your car and says 'I am a police officer' you must get out of your car, leaving your car keys so that the nice (so called)policeman can speed off in it, never to be seen again.

Piquet2 Posted on 5/7 12:04
re: Movie truths

Has anyone ever managed to open a yale lock with a credit card?

Gillandi Posted on 5/7 12:05
re: Movie truths

Yes piquet, dressed from head to toe in black ive tried it on many occasions. It's impossible.

Piquet2 Posted on 5/7 12:07
re: Movie truths

Presumably it's difficult to do whilst holding a box of Milk Tray?

TripeSupper Posted on 5/7 12:07
re: Movie truths

You can pull up outside any important building in a city, and there will be a parking space available, right by the main door.

Hapas Posted on 5/7 12:12
re: Movie truths

It is never necessary to say goodbye on the phone, or quickly dash for a dump mid-conversation.

Gillandi Posted on 5/7 12:14
re: Movie truths

99% of food ordered at restaurant tables in movies is never eaten.

Zoophonic Posted on 5/7 12:21
re: Movie truths

That James Bond never dies despite being in the hands of at least 50 of the world's most lethal evil killers.

The_River Posted on 5/7 12:22
re: Movie truths

The hero will always get shot in the shoulder, yet will be able to use his arm.

The best method to revive somebody after their heart has stopped, assuming that there has already been a lengthy attempt to revive them with CPR, those electric zapperthings, etc., is screaming at them something like: "You never backed away from everything in your life, now fight! Fight! FIIIIGHT!" or
"You can't do this to me! I love you, goddammit!"

The phone rings. Caller says, "You better check out what's on the news on Channel 13". He turns on channel 13 and gets the report from the beginning.

green_beret20 Posted on 5/7 12:26
re: Movie truths

Whenever your in a Kung Fu fight faced by impossible numbers do not worry, your opponents will only come at you one at a time whilst the rest of them dance around you in threatening manner patiently waiting their turn.

Gillandi Posted on 5/7 12:31
re: Movie truths

Your a monster pursuing a scantily clad young maiden through a dark forest? Fear not, she probably couldnt make a pot of tea in a fully illuminated kitchen without falling over.

Hapas Posted on 5/7 12:32
re: Movie truths

Always turn the tv off before a very relevant news report has finished.

Should you attempt to use any computer system, frantic key strokes will be required. Use of the mouse will be minimal. Access to said systems can be validated by the appearance of "ACCESS GRANTED" in an extremely large, flashing font.

bandito Posted on 5/7 12:38
re: Movie truths

walk into any bar in new York and you will be served immediatley.

always leave your car unlcoked and the window down cos there are no car thieves in the movies.

when making a phonecall the phone will be picked up after 3 seconds

detectives never get a wash and they sleep in their work clothes

in any bar fight someone will be thrown over a paper thin table and cracked over the head with an empty bottle

cigarettes always light first time

Boro_Gadgie Posted on 5/7 13:26
re: Movie truths

In gunfights, no matter how many shots the baddies have at the good guy, they miss, whilst when the good guy shoots, every shot finds the target.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 13:32
re: Movie truths

if you get bitten by a spider you wont die, no way, instead you will be able to climb walls and spout out webs, which is nice.

red_rebel Posted on 5/7 13:36
re: Movie truths

If you bump into then argue with a beautiful but bitchy stranger on the morning train you can be sure she will be sta in the office when you get called in by the boss for a crucial business meeting.

Every shopping basket contains a French loaf.

Background shots of London will always feature a big red bus spinning around Eros.

The love struck young soldier who proudly shows around the picture of his beautiful wife around the campfire the night before the battle will be the first to be killed.

blotonthelandscape Posted on 5/7 13:40
re: Movie truths

There are always a minimum of 10 prostiutes at the Police station.

the senior detective always has a bottle of whisky in his draw.

Your partner always gets shot.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 13:44
re: Movie truths

the great William Wallace was always clean shaven!

Fischer Posted on 5/7 13:47
re: Movie truths

If anyone is listening to music in a film set in the 1960s or 70s, it's always a credible classic of the era - Rolling Stones, Hendrix, Bowie. You never hear Radio 1 switched to DLT's breakfast show playing Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep.

lazenby_smoggie Posted on 5/7 13:50
re: Movie truths

everytime you phone someone they answer straight away and its always the person you want

red_rebel Posted on 5/7 13:52
re: Movie truths

English people are all terribly well spoken .... except Bob Hoskins.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 13:53
re: Movie truths

In any sex scene, both participants will reach a noisy simultaneous orgasm within three minutes of removing their first items of clothing.

Unless the man is a harrassed cop under stress, in which case he will be unable to perform and his lady friend will caress his bare chest and say things like "It happens to every man... it really doesn't matter..." until the man pulls on his trousers and shirt and leaves the house without a word.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 13:57
re: Movie truths

Cars always start first time... UNLESS the driver is being hotly pursued by an axe-wielding psycopath, in which case the ignition will turn over noisily but refuse to start, while the driver punches the steering wheel repeatedly. The pursuer will be visible ONLY in the rear view mirror, and will take much longer to arrive at the car door than you would ever expect, at which point the car will start with a screech of tyres and roar off. The pursuer will hang onto the car door for at least 30 yards before being thrown into a pile of cardboard boxes.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 13:58
re: Movie truths

Back alleyways in inner cities are always inexplicably filled with piles of cardboard boxes.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 14:00
re: Movie truths

it is ok to be a man and wear tights, just as long as you are fighting crime.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:02
re: Movie truths

Any outlandish occurence in an ordinary setting - say, a pantomime horse walking down the high street - will be witnessed from a shop doorway by an elderly, bearded tramp drinking from a bottle wrapped in brown paper. He'll do a double take, rub his eyes, and then either a) stare at the bottle and throw it away, or b) take an extra long big swig from it.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:03
re: Movie truths

In 75% of cases, children trapped in perilous situations will be rescued by a loveable, fluffy animal.

corruptbiggins Posted on 5/7 14:04
re: Movie truths

Never, ever, in any circumstance, cross a street with a large piece of plate glass. It will always get broken.

karembeu_ca Posted on 5/7 14:05
re: Movie truths

a newly defused bomb will always stop at 1 second on the coundown

there is always a nice LED countdown on all devices needing to be defused, making it nice and easy to identify them

all bad guys politely leave their good-guy victim to die alone, giving him/her the opportunity to escape

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:08
re: Movie truths

There is no such thing as Microsoft Windows in the movies. Anything important that happens on a computer screen will happen in HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS, often accompanied by an enormous graphic, eg a computer virus will see the entire screen taken up with the words "VIRUS ALERT" and a picture of a laughing skull and crossbones.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 14:09
re: Movie truths

if the bad guy is german he is nearly always called Hans, but on the odd occasion is called Adolf.

sasboro Posted on 5/7 14:09
re: Movie truths

in a fight scene, when 1 guy is fighting 100 people, they have to line up and fight him one at the time. Also punching hard does not produce blood easily.

the foreigners speak english amongst themselves.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:13
re: Movie truths

The hero's mum is almost always an overweight, middle-aged Italian or Jewish woman, who talks incessently in an overbearing manner and is never EVER seen outside a cramped kitchen in which dozens of pots and pans are steaming and whistling.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 14:14
re: Movie truths

The really nerdy looking girl who everyone laughs at is actually incredibly beautiful and will prove so just before the end of the film.

(I'm watching the wrong types of film I think)

blotonthelandscape Posted on 5/7 14:14
re: Movie truths

Fisher, you seem to be enjoying this.

Piquet2 Posted on 5/7 14:18
re: Movie truths

The detective from the NYPD always has a father who was a hero in the NYPD and a local legend......oh and they're always Irish.

--- Post edited by Piquet2 on 5/7 14:19 ---

sasboro Posted on 5/7 14:19
re: Movie truths

an average gunman with a pistol can escape 50 police markmen
plus he has an endless supply of bullets

a fat american detective in a suit and shoes can catch up a 18 fast bloke in trainers over 2 miles

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:19
re: Movie truths

I'm in my element!

High school rock bands that play at graduation balls always sound like the slickest, most professional stadium rock band you've ever heard in your life, playing all original material and culminating in a polished MOR ballad that wins over the singer's estranged sweetheart.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 14:20
re: Movie truths

Despite only wearing a mask, our hero can walk amongst close friends and family without being recognised.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 14:20
re: Movie truths

some rings are harder to get rid of than others.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:21
re: Movie truths

Sas - the endless supply of bullets only runs out when the baddie is holding his gun to the hero's head. He'll slowly squeeze the trigger over at least ten nerve-shredding seconds, until the empty barrel clicks. Then there'll be a look of shock and horror on his face, followed by at least 50 police bullets hitting him.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 14:23
re: Movie truths

The boss of the bad guys always takes longer to die, even after being shot 50 times, than his henchmen who die in high numbers very quickly.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:24
re: Movie truths

All alien planets in sci-fi films have gravity, climate, atmospheric conditions, landscapes and scenery oddly identical to Earth's. As well as aliens that speak perfect English.

The_River Posted on 5/7 14:27
re: Movie truths

When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead.

When faced with dozens of armed opponents, the good guy will show up and appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armour plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman). No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he throws his protection away, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.

Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air - the laws of physics notwithstanding.

Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.

Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he'll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.

sasboro Posted on 5/7 14:30
re: Movie truths

No one lets rip in films

why do the bad guys spend half the film trying to kill the good guy, but when he is caught they decide to keep him prisoner instead

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:30
re: Movie truths

No matter how minor a car crash appears to be, the car will explode into an enormous ball of flame no more than five seconds after the hero has climbed out of it and thrown himself to the ground.

Throwing yourself to the ground provides complete 100% protection from enormous balls of flame erupting from a crashed car less than 20 feet away.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:31
re: Movie truths

Space ships and space battles make a fantastic array of noises - roars, explosions, and the zaps and whizzes of laser beams. Despite the fact that space is a vacuum and thus incapable of tranmitting sound.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:33
re: Movie truths

If the hero is required to parachute from a doomed aircraft, them within seconds of doing so the plane will without exception crash into the side of a snow-covered mountain - no matter where in the world the events are taking place.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:40
re: Movie truths

Men awakening with hangovers do so lying flat on their backs on a made bed, wearing all of their clothes from the previous night - apart from their shirt, which will have been removed to reveal a tight, white vest. They'll have four days worth of stubble, even if they went out the previous night completely clean-shaven.

Their hangover will be completely cured by a cup of black coffee.

Women getting out of bed in the morning are always completely naked, and will take the duvet with them to cover their modesty - despite the fact that they've spent the previous eight hours shamelessly shagging some bloke with everything they've got on display.

--- Post edited by Fischer on 5/7 14:43 ---

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 14:45
re: Movie truths

The Eiffel tower can be viewed from any window in Paris, no matter where.

If a character is travelling to London, there is a shot of the rained soaked city, featuring a massive red bus, black cabs and men in pork pie hats carrying umbrellas and briefcases.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 5/7 14:47
re: Movie truths

Bowler hats actually, unless they are all Jamaican Rude Boys !

sasboro Posted on 5/7 14:48
re: Movie truths

may have already been done..but exact money is at hand for things like taxi's and newspaper sellers on the street

when living rough, your facial hair stops growing

--- Post edited by sasboro on 5/7 14:49 ---

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 14:49
re: Movie truths

Your are correct lizard-jumper, it's been a long day!

mrweller Posted on 5/7 14:51
re: Movie truths

if you are a policeman it is cool to have the nickname 'Popeye'

onthemap Posted on 5/7 14:53
re: Movie truths

Rottweilers and Dobermans are always Devil dogs.
Women always wake up in full make up.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 14:55
re: Movie truths

Unless they're prostitues or in any way of questionable morality, in which case they'll have smudged mascara and lipstick all over the place.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 14:56
re: Movie truths

your average lap top is capable of overriding the computer systems of an invading alien army.

Turning out the lights at night bathes your room is a silvery blue light.

Policemen test for cocaine by licking their finger, dipping it in the powder and tasting it.

Women who look like supermodels can become world experts in nuclear physics when they are barely 20.

There's no need to learn German if you are infiltrating a nazi stronghold, the accent will do.

The heroines make-up stays immaculate throughout.

One match will light up an entire room.

There's no need to say hello or goodbye on the phone.

If the character pays for a small item with an expensive note, they always say "Keep the change"

onthemap Posted on 5/7 15:00
re: Movie truths

16 year old college girls can climb out of the upstairs window at will and their boyfriends motorcycle only alerts her parents when they are at the end of the street - oh and usually he is taking her to somewhere where her life is in danger.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 15:01
re: Movie truths

In a teen horror, the couple who have just lost their virginity to each other get killed soon after.

karembeu_ca Posted on 5/7 15:02
re: Movie truths

any character who gets wet will be completely dry by the next scene, unless they are an aspiring actress who must do a wet t-shirt nipple scene. her, and the nipples, will be gone by the next scene - and all will be dry.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 15:04
re: Movie truths

the main character will almost always have a mentally scarring childhood memory which returns to haunt them.

onthemap Posted on 5/7 15:05
re: Movie truths

Pimps always wear platform shoes.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 15:06
re: Movie truths

The main character's dad died doing something heroic that he never got the credit for / was blamed for something that wasn't his fault. What the hero ends up doing avenges this.

sasboro Posted on 5/7 15:09
re: Movie truths

in horror films it is impossible to run away

onthemap Posted on 5/7 15:10
re: Movie truths

Blind beggars can ALWAYS see.
Every time a hero jumps out of a window a lorry will go by at the exact same time and he will have a soft landing and escape.
The tough cockney is always Ray Winston.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 15:11
re: Movie truths

Unless it's an older film in which case it's Bob Hoskins.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 15:14
re: Movie truths

the symptom of terminal illness is always a cough.
hear a scary noise in the night? investigate it semi-naked.
british people are either incredibly posh or from the east end.
there's no need to look at the road when driving a car, just carry on talking to the person in the passenger seat.
an electric fence powerful enough to kill a t-rex causes no lasting damage to a 9 year old.

captain5 Posted on 5/7 15:15
re: Movie truths

Only certain actors are allowed to only play themselves or caricatures of themselves (e.g. Caine, Connery, Moore, Arnie) in every film they do.

No actresses are allowed to do this.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 15:19
re: Movie truths

single women have cats. married women have dogs.

after a night of passion, the womans make-up and hair is still
the same as if it was freshly applied.

trapped in a scary house at night persued by an unknown monster? split up!

a la eastenders, during an emotional scene it is compulsory to speak to the persons back while they pull pained faces.

zaphod Posted on 5/7 15:27
re: Movie truths

Witnesses to murder (especially Agatha Christie) often decide the safest and most sensible thing to do is to blackmail the murderer, who reciprocates by killing them, too.

Azedarac Posted on 5/7 15:35
re: Movie truths

Although they move in three dimensions, space ships always meet face to face and standing the same way up.

karembeu_ca Posted on 5/7 16:08
re: Movie truths

bad guys fleeing on foot are always caught, or at least tracked.

good guys on foot always find a vehicle that left the keys in.

no-one in movies gets a STD unless it is integral to the plot.

sasboro Posted on 5/7 16:14
re: Movie truths

the police can stop you and take your car when they are in pursuit, and it's not a problem if they write it off

mrweller Posted on 5/7 16:18
re: Movie truths

copycat

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 16:18
re: Movie truths

sprinting away from an enemy in a horror film is useless - he will catch you up by walking.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 16:20
re: Movie truths

in hot pursuit jumping from somewhere high to somewhere low, they never ever stop and say 'ouch that hurt' and check for blood or scratches.

I know I would.

ThePrisoner Posted on 5/7 16:22
re: Movie truths

A smack on the back of the head with a rifle butt does not result in a brain haemorrhage , merely a mild ache that can be cured by a swift rub of the hand.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 16:25
re: Movie truths

In Victorian London, the only weather conditions are either a) thick fog, or b) thick snow. But never both at the same time.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 16:26
re: Movie truths

sometimes a punch that misses it's intended target stills throws the person to the floor.

This seemed to be more prominent in the 70s and early 80s.

--- Post edited by mrweller on 5/7 16:27 ---

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 16:27
re: Movie truths

punches thrown during a fight sound like a hammer on concrete as they hit the other person

zaphod Posted on 5/7 16:30
re: Movie truths

mrweller, in the 1960s version of Maigret, his sidekick, Lucas, genuinely broke his ankle jumping down somewhere. They left it in the program.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 16:37
re: Movie truths

zaphod that was a freak occurrence to be fair

Kilburn Posted on 5/7 16:42
re: Movie truths

The fantastic looking young woman with the stunning figure, is not recognised as such by anyone else in the film, because she wears a pair of glasses.

Only when the hero takes her glasses off in the final reel, does everyone suddenly realise that they have been hanging around with a gorgeous babe all the time.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 16:43
re: Movie truths

Every teenager in a film set in the recent past will be a fully-fledged member of a youth culture, wearing and showing every single trapping of that culture imaginable.

Teddy boys will have towering quiffs, huge sideburns, drape jackets, bootlace ties, drainpipe jeans and clumping brothel creepers. They will carry flicknives and call people "daddio".

Hippies will have hear down to their waists, beards the size of continents, John Lennon glasses, love beads and enormous velvet flares. They will constantly smoke enormous spliffs and call everyone "man".

'Punk Rockers' will have battered leather jackets, swastika arm bands, mohair sweaters, tartan bondage trousers, safety pins, mohicans, and be constantly swearing, spitting and sniffing glue.

Etc, etc.

bandito Posted on 5/7 16:49
re: Movie truths

a 10 inch thick climbing rope will always erode against a sharp rock

during a car chase one must always crash through a vegetable stall

SteR Posted on 5/7 16:51
re: Movie truths

Scratches cure themselves within a couple of minutes.

Kilburn Posted on 5/7 16:52
re: Movie truths

When the 'accidental' hero (who starts the film as an ordinary guy working in a sedentary office job, but ends up having to save the world) removes his shirt, he will have a six-pack and biceps like someone who spends four hours every day in the gym.

boroboy75 Posted on 5/7 16:53
re: Movie truths

The maverick cop always seems to get results.

SteR Posted on 5/7 16:54
re: Movie truths

It doesn't matter if you are driving an Aston Martin or similiar sportscar, a Ford Cortina with 4 burly blokes will be able to keep up with you in a car chase.

SteR Posted on 5/7 16:55
re: Movie truths

It doesn't matter if you are driving an Ford Cortina, an Aston Martin or similiar sportscar will be able to keep up with you in a car chase, but only just.

SteR Posted on 5/7 16:57
re: Movie truths

Normal cars, busses and trucks can fly very well off bridges, over ravines and rivers etc, but police cars cannot.

The_Boro_Biffa Posted on 5/7 16:57
re: Movie truths

Everything falls into place just at the moment it seems all hope is lost, thus allowing the hero to save the day.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 16:58
re: Movie truths

horror movies - if you hear a noise at night downstairs you must go and investigate on your own.


If you have to then ring for help never call the police first always try you mate Bob and if it goes to answerphone remember to leave a message

MsCurly Posted on 5/7 16:59
re: Movie truths

If a male and a female character dislike each other intensely, you can guarantee that they will be snogging at any second.

boroboy75 Posted on 5/7 16:59
re: Movie truths

If the hero chooses to swing off the side of a building on a fire-hose, it always unravels, but miraculously wedges against something, thereby saving the hero from plumetting to his death.

SteR Posted on 5/7 17:00
re: Movie truths

Heroes dont fart.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:01
re: Movie truths

Any sporting activity whatsoever MUST be resolved by a hugely dramatic incident that happens in the very last second of the match.

This is almost always preceded by our hero, on the field of play, making meaningful eye contact with his estranged wife/long-lost son/terminally ill coach, sitting high up in a crowd of up to 100,000 people.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:03
re: Movie truths

If a seance takes place, it will always be ended prematurely when the glass (or anything else in the room) smashes into pieces of its own accord.

onthemap Posted on 5/7 17:04
re: Movie truths

A karate chop to the neck is more effective than an axe.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 17:05
re: Movie truths

Pele is the best footballer ever as he is able to play on even with a broken leg, what a star!

The_Boro_Biffa Posted on 5/7 17:06
re: Movie truths

The main characters are always unbelievably good looking.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 17:06
re: Movie truths

Mr. Miyagi is harder than Bruce Lee.

Azedarac Posted on 5/7 17:08
re: Movie truths

Anyone can write their name and phone number on a scrap of paper in 0.5 seconds, by apparently drawing two straight lines.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 17:10
re: Movie truths

One Eyed Willy is in fact a pirate.

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 17:10
re: Movie truths

The new partner being assigned to a policeman must must MUST be his complete opposite.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:11
re: Movie truths

Murder victims will always die a split second before naming their assailant to the first policeman on the scene. "It was... it was... arghghghgh" (head lolls to one side)

In any situation where a group of closely-bonded men are facing imminent death, one of them will start to play mournfully on a harmonica.

Azedarac Posted on 5/7 17:12
re: Movie truths

The hero can pull himself up over a ledge or windowsill using his fingertips with very little effort.

The_Boro_Biffa Posted on 5/7 17:12
re: Movie truths

No matter who you are should the need arise you will discover that you can drive a car at high speeds through heavy traffic somewhere you've never been before as if you were a stunt driver who's been practising for weeks.

karembeu_ca Posted on 5/7 17:12
re: Movie truths

there always seems to be an unfinished road or bridge in every car chase

there is always a door in every dead-end alley

downings_left_foot Posted on 5/7 17:14
re: Movie truths

Our hero always falls for an attractive woman who works for the local paper/tv station/law firm who has a special link to the case.

mrweller Posted on 5/7 17:14
re: Movie truths

if you have a spaceship and you need someone to man the engine room, make sure he is scottish.

bandito Posted on 5/7 17:14
re: Movie truths

as the hapless good guy lay beaten and is about to be shot, the mystery person at th ebeginning of the film comes to save the day. If its a woman it' s vase over the head, if it's a bloke it's a bullet between the eyes

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:14
re: Movie truths

The only time courtroom scenes are permitted to be shown on film is when the crime in question is murder.

On each of these occasions, there must be a point at which the pain-in-the-arse prosecution lawyer shouts "Objection, your honour!" for the umpteenth time, and the judge barks "Objection overruled!" without bothering to listen to it.

bandito Posted on 5/7 17:17
re: Movie truths

american cars will always make a screeching noise eventho they are cornering at snail pace

The_Boro_Biffa Posted on 5/7 17:19
re: Movie truths

Radiation/Gamma Rays/Solar Flares etc are not in fact deadly but super power giving friends of humanity.

bandito Posted on 5/7 17:19
re: Movie truths

people can drive whilst in conversation whereby they are not looking at the road infront but the person next to them in the car

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:21
re: Movie truths

Anybody who dies in a car crash must end up with their head smashed against the steering wheel, making the horn beep continuously.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:30
re: Movie truths

If the hero ends up in prison, he will invariably end up sharing a cell with a 30-stone, 7 foot predatory Mexican homosexual called Big Alberto or somesuch.

There are only two other types of gay men that exist.

a) Sensitive, attractive professionals who live with their cat, are "good with colours" and provide a shoulder to cry on for the lovelorn heroine

and b) moustachied macho men in leather caps and black vests that hang around in lay-bys and dance the tango together in seedy bars that our heroes will inadvertantly stumble into.

bandito Posted on 5/7 17:33
re: Movie truths

people in pubs can be seen but not heard apart from the people nearest the camera.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:35
re: Movie truths

And the only lesbians in existance are gorgeous 20somethings that both strip completely naked and stroke each other in a vaguely unconvincing manner amid much gasping and throwing back of hair. While a man watches impassively from a chair in the corner of the room.

Fischer Posted on 5/7 17:37
re: Movie truths

Scientific geniuses who work at the cutting edge of man's knowledge must be curiously old-fashioned in every other aspect of their lives. Monocles, bow ties, tweed suits, vintage cars, etc.