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Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:36
On my own....

I've been sitting on my own for dinner everyday cos the foods free and I can stuff my face. A secretary came up to me in the canteen as she was leaving and said I should sit next to them tomorrow cos I look lonely on my own. I like sitting on my own and stuffing my chops. If I sit with them I'll have to make conversation, watch my dribbling gravy, answer questions and partake in gossip.

Should I sit with them or go in earlier and sit on my own still?

chboro Posted on 14/3 13:38
re: On my own....

PLUS - if you sit next to them, you may need to actually have a bath or at least buy some deodrant to hide the stench.

Is it really worth the effort?

bandito Posted on 14/3 13:38
re: On my own....

sounds to me like the secretary fancies a bit of your pork chop. Get her boned

sasboro Posted on 14/3 13:39
re: On my own....

just go on her leaving do and get fixed up with her

tony_block19 Posted on 14/3 13:40
re: On my own....

I wouldn't Lisbon, you don't want to lose friends when your spitting gravy at them, after talking with your mouth full.

Sit on your own, and read a good magazine. Something classy like ZOO or FHM.

Nedkat Posted on 14/3 13:41
re: On my own....

Two questions.

1. Is she pretty ?
2. Has she got big tits ?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:44
re: On my own....

CH - I shower every morning and use Polo Sport roll on deoderant thankyou very much.

I like what you did there Bandy.

Sas - What if she doesn't leave?

Tony - You may well be right. I have found ICE magazine has been quite good recently for gratuitous shots of fit naked women. Louise Glover gives me the horn.

Ned - 1)She was a 7 out of 10

--- Post edited by Lisbonlegend on 14/3 13:45 ---

boroboy75 Posted on 14/3 13:47
re: On my own....

If you start sitting with women, the blokes who work there will think you are a puff.
If you want to shag her, do what you usually do, and offer her money.

sasboro Posted on 14/3 13:47
re: On my own....

they must think you are a bit odd wanting to eat on your own instead of with your department. it doesnt start you off on a good footing

Nedkat Posted on 14/3 13:49
re: On my own....

Have you ever seen him eat, Sas ?

mufflar Posted on 14/3 13:49
re: On my own....

why not sit with the 'guys' you work with eh Boroboy?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:50
re: On my own....

She asked for money, I didn't offer.

There's only 5 in my department. One is on holiday and the other 3 don't eat in the canteen. I find that very odd seeing as though the food is free!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:50
re: On my own....

--- Post edited by Lisbonlegend on 14/3 13:51 ---

Gillandi Posted on 14/3 13:51
re: On my own....

As an anti-social sloppy eater with a morbid fear of germs i'd politely decline her invitation. Them saliva jets under your tongue can travel up to 3 metres if they miss the back of your teeth coz you are talking and eating.

Theres a time to eat and a time to talk.

tony_block19 Posted on 14/3 13:51
re: On my own....

Ample boobs, they're the best!!
Actually Lisbon, I'd sit with her for a couple of days, but only eat something sensible, not something that you could spill down your tie.
Then, you both get in the comfort zone that you talk about various things such as relatives, hobbies and pet hates. Then it's safe for the Spaghetti Bolognese or messy foods to come out, so when you do spill it down your top (and you will, even more so if its white/light coloured) you can both joke about it and she may even volunteer to clean it off for you.

The first of many steps to get into her knickers begins, she is now putty in your hands

sasboro Posted on 14/3 13:52
re: On my own....

if you start using knifes and forks instead of fingers then someone might sit with you

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:54
re: On my own....

I think I agree with you Gill. Only problem is I said I would sit with her when she put me under pressure as I couldn't think of a good excuse.

YOu sound like you've done this before Tony!

bandito Posted on 14/3 13:56
re: On my own....

cut to the chase and tell her straight, if she wants you to sit with her then she is obviously up for some sausage action, she's not remotley interested in talking about the weather or the boss over lunch. bend her over the water machine

Smifter Posted on 14/3 13:57
re: On my own....

sausage action that made me choke on my cheese sandwich

sasboro Posted on 14/3 13:58
re: On my own....

do oyu have your own office, just make up a meeting with her

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 13:59
re: On my own....

I got myself into trouble at my last place for shennanigans with secretaries. I don't want to go down that road again although it does sound appealing now you mention it.

--- Post edited by Lisbonlegend on 14/3 13:59 ---

Gillandi Posted on 14/3 14:00
re: On my own....

Lisbon - I wrote the book on avoiding pests in work canteens.

Stick a few Rice Krispies on your face tomorrow mate, that should take the heat off for a few weeks.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:00
re: On my own....

Nah, I share an office but he's off on his hols this week. Bizarrely with another Boro fan, we must be the only two in Slough!

bandito Posted on 14/3 14:01
re: On my own....

Are you Keith from "The Office"?

tony_block19 Posted on 14/3 14:01
re: On my own....

I haven't Lisbon, I go home for my dinner, and have Futurama to keep me company.

Obviously my plan will only be relevant if you actually want to see her clout, if you don't I'd suggest just becoming friends with her, it's good to have a female friend at work, I used to but she got made redundant.

sasboro Posted on 14/3 14:04
re: On my own....

there cant be much to try it on with in slough than the office secretaries. but i suppoose slough must have a chicago rock and yates

boroboy75 Posted on 14/3 14:04
re: On my own....

"I got myself into trouble at my last place for shennanigans with secretaries"

Being sacked for sexual harassment won't look good on your CV.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:05
re: On my own....

Good idea Gill but why Rice Krispies?

Bandy - I'm his twin. Would you do Jasper Carrot's daughter?

Tony - Normally I would want to see her clout but I have to be professional, at least until I'm found out anyway. Why was she sacked?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:08
re: On my own....

BB75 - Not quite. One of the secreraries snogged me on a works night out in Hartlepool but she happened to be seeing one of the engineers who was out at the time. Rather than come over and have a go at me he headbutted her right in the mush whilst I was at the bar buying the beer.

tony_block19 Posted on 14/3 14:08
re: On my own....

She wasn't sacked, unfortunately she tooked voluntary redundancy when the 'Company Restructure' came around, she hated coming from Billingham every day so thought would be the best thing for her.

"Rather than come over and have a go at me he headbutted her right in the mush whilst I was at the bar buying the beer."

Only in Hartlepool!!

--- Post edited by tony_block19 on 14/3 14:09 ---

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:09
re: On my own....

Slough is buzzing Sas - it's like a foreign country within England, literally.

Gillandi Posted on 14/3 14:10
re: On my own....

Why Rice Krispies? Coz they look more infectuous than most cereal brands when you are trying to affect the appearance of facial contagions. I'm trying to keep the costs down in your attempt to keep your neighbours at bay. If you want to go the full nine yards with a theatrical make-up kit then go ahead. As long as they keep the hell out of your face when you are stuffing down the egg-mayo on granary.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:16
re: On my own....

I've only got honey nut loops, special K, Weetabix, bitesize shredded wheat in stock. I'm not sure weetabix would work.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:17
re: On my own....

Tony, I'm from Billingham, what's her name and would you bum her?

tony_block19 Posted on 14/3 14:23
re: On my own....

I ain't giving her name out, but shes from Wolviston and no I wouldn't bum her, she was a good looking lass with too much dignity to take it up the shooter...I think.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:25
re: On my own....

Wolviton or Wolviston Court? How old is she and where do you work? She must be a posh tart then if she's from Wolviston.

Gillandi Posted on 14/3 14:27
re: On my own....

No Lisb, none of those will do the trick like Rice Krispies. You have to be subtle about it. Stick a bite-sized Shredded Wheet on your face will definately have them backing off but they'll get the message they are not wanted and that would be rude.

Drop the whole idea and revert to plan B, a touch of the Tourette's syndrome. Tell em shoulder to shoulder contact brings it on. Explode into profanity every now and then when you brush past someone in a corridor.

You WILL be an island.

sasboro Posted on 14/3 14:29
re: On my own....

just stick to being a loner at work is the best way for you. I mean being a northern monkey down there aint good.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:36
re: On my own....

Gill - I may damage my promotion prospects by shouting profanities at every opportunity. and it will seriously curtail my food consumption rate if I have to keep swearing.

I like being a loner, it saves your voice box not having to make idle chit chat.

When I was sat at luch my ears were burning, not literally but I heard them mention my name. I pretended nto to notice though. The whole site seems to know my life story and I've hardly spoken to any of them. The mad cockney bird in the canteen tries to force feed me everything on the menu. Nice woman but mad as a hatter.

Lefty3668 Posted on 14/3 14:37
re: On my own....

Bandito is only half right. Unfortunately it isn't the 7/10 ample bosomed advance party that has taken a shine to Lisbon, but the particularly plain girl in the circle.

Or the real minger. Or, given his reputation, the mature one.

Either way you're not coming out of this with any sort of popularity Lisbon son, unless it takes an office stalker twist.

( Gillandi)

bandito Posted on 14/3 14:39
re: On my own....

so in other words, it's Pauline Fowler

sasboro Posted on 14/3 14:40
re: On my own....

try not to worry to much. they are probably just wondering who the weirdo sat on his own in the corner is. maybe they feel sorry for you?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 14:44
re: On my own....

Lefty - There's one particularly fit one, let's hope it's her. If not I might have to pay for my food and eat it in the office like the rest of my department.

Bandy - She's not old enough to Pauline Fowler, more like Sharon Mitchell.

I'm wondering who the weirdo sat in the corner is Sas. Who is it?

Lefty3668 Posted on 14/3 14:45
re: On my own....

It's not her

--- Post edited by Lefty3668 on 14/3 14:47 ---

Lefty3668 Posted on 14/3 14:54
re: On my own....

But if it is then two things ye should know.

1) She is shallow and self obsessed and only instructed her friend to go over because she can't bear that anyone could possibly ignore her.
2) It is now your duty to share details with the board if you do bang her.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 15:03
re: On my own....

If it's her than I will be morally obliged to bang her but if I do then I am being unprofessional. Decisions, decisions.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 15:08
re: On my own....

Yeah, you're right. It's not her.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 15:26
re: On my own....

I was caught out in the canteen by the chef for going back for salad after already having my soup and main course. I don't understand why he got upset, why does he bother cooking it if he doesn't want people to eat it?

RaRaRasputin Posted on 14/3 15:42
re: On my own....

If you sit with them, dont do your usual prattling on about how good Smac is, or they will tell you to fook right off!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 14/3 15:45
re: On my own....

You will thank me when he's drinking from the UEFA cup.

Lefty3668 Posted on 14/3 16:32
re: On my own....

Getting my crystal ball out now, I foresee a conversation with the really fit one.

Fit one: Can I ask you something, Lisbonlegend?
LL: Please, call me Norman.
Fit one: Can I ask you something, Norman?
LL: Of course.
Fit one: Would you ever consider going out with a work colleague?

LL thinks <is it her or is it not? Probably not, but can I take the risk?>

LL(oozing smarm): Perhaps, if it was the right person. Someone nice and caring and a good conversationalist.
Fit one: There is someone here that you know who fits that description. She really likes you.
LL: Really? Who could it be?
Fit one: Its Jane. Why dont you ask her out, shed say yes and youd make a lovely couple? We all think so.
LL: JANE! The one with the orange glasses? But shes ..not my type.
Fit one: Men! Youre all the same arent you? You say one thing, but youre all so superficial underneath. I bet its the wonky eye.
LL: Its not the wonky eye, its .. other things.
Fit one: Look, that wooden leg stops her doing nothing that the rest of us bipeds do.
LL: Shes got a false leg as well!
Fit one: Oh say youll go out with her Norman. Please. Just once to see what its like. It would mean a lot to her if you did. And to me *flutter flutter*

LL: I suppose shell need picking up.

Dont worry Lisbon, the way itll pan out youll be back on your own table before you know it.

grantus Posted on 14/3 19:45
re: On my own....

Lisbon, tut tut.


WilmslowRed Posted on 14/3 21:32
re: On my own....

Would laugh my back off if this secretary worked in the IT department and was monitoring what websites people were looking at during work hours, and has been sat watching this ongoing saga unfold...........

Lefty3668 Posted on 15/3 10:25
re: On my own....

I think you should pat them all on the legs before they sit down.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 15/3 13:46
re: On my own....

Lefty, you're off your rocker.

I hope they're not monitoring the websites! Anyway I'm too valuable to them for them to sack me.

I decided to go in earlier at 12 so missed them, call me a chicken if you want but I couldn't be bothered with idle chit chat, I'm too tired and fired up about tonights match. Maybe I'll sit with them tomorrow instead.......

Lefty3668 Posted on 15/3 14:02
re: On my own....

And maybe you'll bring packed lunches for the rest of your life. CHICKEN!

grantus Posted on 15/3 14:04
re: On my own....

Buk Buk Bwaaaaak!!!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 15/3 14:06
re: On my own....


Lisbonlegend Posted on 15/3 14:37
re: On my own....

The problem with free food is that you try and get your moneys worth! Red lentil soup then chicken burger with salad and mashed potatoes, roasties, gravy and then apple pie and custard for dessert....I'm going to weigh 20 stone by the end of the month!

captain5 Posted on 15/3 14:38
re: On my own....

How will that diet help you lose weight??

Lisbonlegend Posted on 15/3 14:40
re: On my own....

A low blow from Captain5.

--- Post edited by Lisbonlegend on 15/3 14:40 ---

Lefty3668 Posted on 16/3 11:00
re: On my own....

If your first name is Norman, that must make your second name Collier.

What you should do, fatty, when you are sat together with them, is just blurt out the question. As you know girls who work together synchronise. This applies to their eating just as much as their periods. So, as all six of them are raising their forks to there mouths at the same time you could just say so, who's got the wooden leg then?

Not only will you then know precisely who has got you in her crosshairs, but we can all have a sweep on how many will drop their food. Ill go for 3.

Who says women are more devious.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:21
re: On my own....

I didn't eat in the canteen again today, instead I had a sausage roll at a farm in Hampshire.

Lefty3668 Posted on 16/3 14:29
re: On my own....

An unexpected twist. Playing hard to get?

RaRaRasputin Posted on 16/3 14:30
re: On my own....

As you spend all day on the internet prattling about magnificant Smac, we can assume you are a geek.
We also now konw you are fat.

Therefore its safe to assume they just feel sorry for you, not fancy you.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:31
re: On my own....

I was networking. It was the fattest sausage roll I've ever seen, from a farm shop.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:34
re: On my own....

The birds go for fat geeks.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:43
re: On my own....

Who you calling a geek anyway?

For anyone who's interested the farm was on the site of what used to be Europe's largest airfield in Lasham. It took them 10 years to dismantle it....

Link: Lasham

Boro85 Posted on 16/3 14:45
re: On my own....

Do you ever actually work?

Infact, you dont need a programmer do you?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:47
re: On my own....

I was working. I took the Audi A4 out on a networking mission.

RaRaRasputin Posted on 16/3 14:50
re: On my own....

Level of geekness can be measured in time spent on the internet, you are indeed a prince among geeks!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 14:56
re: On my own....

I work with a bloke who's deaf and dumb rasputin and he's better crack than you.

captain5 Posted on 16/3 14:57
re: On my own....

Anybody else wondering whether the thread title had a deeper meaning but at the same time understanding why??

RaRaRasputin Posted on 16/3 14:58
re: On my own....

Geek succesfully wound up, mission accomplished.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:00
re: On my own....

Who's wound up? I'm just stroking one off.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:06
re: On my own....

Captain5, do you live in London?

captain5 Posted on 16/3 15:12
re: On my own....

No. It's full of weirdos.

BigHorace Posted on 16/3 15:16
re: On my own....


*looks about*


Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:18
re: On my own....

Yeah, you want to watch that Grantus.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:19
re: On my own....

Where do you live then? Under the oak tree with the rest of the gnomes?

captain5 Posted on 16/3 15:21
re: On my own....

Redcar. Soon to be Guisborough.

Edging closer to Nunthorpe all the time.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:23
re: On my own....

Oh, I thought you were in London last night?

captain5 Posted on 16/3 15:25
re: On my own....

Nope, I was Chez mattrich.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:36
re: On my own....

Oh, well that explains everything then.

captain5 Posted on 16/3 15:40
re: On my own....

Depends on whether you know what that means.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:47
re: On my own....

Of course I do.

captain5 Posted on 16/3 15:48
re: On my own....

Go on then. Tell me the postcode of where we were.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 15:49
re: On my own....

Thick cut.

Lefty3668 Posted on 16/3 16:51
re: On my own....

Was that a Lysander and are you sniffing aircraft fuel now?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 16/3 16:55
re: On my own....

Yes and not yet but might when I get home.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 8:28
re: On my own....

Today is the day. I've had a shave and brushed my teeth and it's off to the canteen at lunch time to see what the crack is.

grantus Posted on 17/3 9:52
re: On my own....

Thick cut indeed.

Go get her tiger. Tiger, hehehe.

captain5 Posted on 17/3 9:53
re: On my own....

Lisbon - the tiger.

Link: Assisted by grantus

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 9:57
re: On my own....

Are we having a sweep then?

grantus Posted on 17/3 10:19
re: On my own....

captain, early with the wit today aren't we?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 10:29
re: On my own....

I'm driving back to Teesside tonight, maybe I'll being a secretary with me to meet the parents.

captain5 Posted on 17/3 10:33
re: On my own....

To wit to who, grantus??

boroboy75 Posted on 17/3 10:35
re: On my own....

Another needy, attention seeking post from LisbonLegend.
Why does he feel the need to document everything that happens in his day?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 10:35
re: On my own....

Cos I've got no friends, I thought that was obvious.

grantus Posted on 17/3 10:37
re: On my own....

captain, stop stalking me. It was rather cute at first. Now I'm finding you too needy.

captain5 Posted on 17/3 10:38
re: On my own....

I'm not needy. Well not now my patriarch Mr 75 has returned.

10hickton Posted on 17/3 10:43
re: On my own....

But then again, if one of said table chances onto this board then I would think the offer to sit with them may well be taken away, considering some of the responces you have received !

boroboy75 Posted on 17/3 10:47
re: On my own....

Do they really want him to sit with them? He seems to have cast himself in the role of canteen leper, so maybe they were just trying to be polite.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 10:53
re: On my own....

The bitches love a canteen leper.

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 11:20
re: On my own....

You know, I'm beginning to think Lisbon isn't as stupid as I think he looks. I think this has all been a carefully planned strategy.

By avoiding them for a few days he has got them intrigued. He is now mysterious like Clint Eastwood.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 11:30
re: On my own....

It's difficult to be as stupid as I look Lefty, I'm sat here with a rice krispie hanging off the side of my face.

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 11:36
re: On my own....

The only challenge you have to negotiate now, as I see it, is coming up with a good reason why you asked them if any of them had a wooden leg.

And you MUST ask them now. It's a rule.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 11:38
re: On my own....

What about the glass eye?

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 11:42
re: On my own....

Just ask about the leg for now. They'll think you're odd if you probe too much. That can keep, but you can always try winking at them all and make a note of who doesn't return it.

I want an afternoon report btw.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 11:47
re: On my own....

I'll try my best.....less than 10 mins to the draw. They'd better be interested in football or I'm out of there.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 14:57
re: On my own....

After waiting to the end of the UEFA draw I didn't get into the canteen til late and missed the secretaries. Bizarrely though a black girl came over and said her friend was worried about me sitting on my own and they're going to come and sit with me on Monday!!!

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 15:07
re: On my own....

You're playing a blinder son! Do you wear a poncho then? Or is it the sort of bedraggled half drowned mongrel look that you use?

Hmmm though, this is a whole new ball game. Same rules apply however!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 15:08
re: On my own....

I've never slept with a blackbird before.

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 15:12
re: On my own....

Not that you're getting ahead of yourself. That will be an ebony wooden leg then.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 15:15
re: On my own....

I never said I was going to, I said I hadn't before. If the skirt is dropped to the knees it may cover the wooden leg.

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 15:17
re: On my own....

Hang about, are you making all this up? Since when were southerners this friendly?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 15:18
re: On my own....

I know, tell me about it! I've been caught off gaurd with a mouth full of mash potato on both occassions.

Lefty3668 Posted on 17/3 15:24
re: On my own....

I think there are preparing to lure you to a cockney Royston Vasey. You're going in a pot mate, that's why they are fattening you up.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 17/3 15:28
re: On my own....

There's definitely something odd going on here.

On my first day a scary woman called Sandy came up to me and asked me if I fancied staying at hers for 15 a night and even gave me a calling card! Said it was for contractors and professional people. Ummmm, no thanks I'd rather get up at 5am and drive for 4 hours every day, paying 300 in petrol a month and destroy my car in the process.

grantus Posted on 17/3 15:28
re: On my own....

You've never slept with a black bird before? Get in there mush, get her spread eagled lad. Or are you concerned about your little peacock?

sasboro Posted on 21/3 11:20
re: On my own....

any updates to add

grantus Posted on 21/3 11:23
re: On my own....

Still pecking away? You got a Woody/Wood/Pecker for this one lad?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 21/3 11:23
re: On my own....

About my little peacock!

I sat on the same table as them yesterday but was shielded by the big ugly Boro fan. This meant that I didn't have to make idle chit chat, just the usual pleasanteries. The blackbird is single and after a man, she said if I hadn't come over and sat with them she was soing to come and sit on my table anyway. I might go in the canteen on my oiwn today and see what develops....

tony_block19 Posted on 21/3 11:29
re: On my own....

Shes ate him, hes been swallowed whole by Big Momma's welly top!

Lisbonlegend Posted on 21/3 11:31
re: On my own....

She's a 6.5 out of 10 Grantus and is definitely not shy.

tony_block19 Posted on 21/3 11:33
re: On my own....

Why..when I think of Lisbon can I not help thinking of Gareth Keenan from 'The Office'.

"I've had office romances, I've had loads's a bad shytting on your own door step"

Lefty3668 Posted on 21/3 12:10
re: On my own....

I want to know two things.

1.Have the other secretaries seen you sitting with the black girl and how did they take the rebuke?
2. How many of these temptresses have prosthetic limbs?

grantus Posted on 21/3 12:15
re: On my own....

A sober 6.5 out of 10 aint bad lisbon. I'll bet you've done worse.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 21/3 12:30
re: On my own....

Exactly Tony....Like shytting on your own doorstep.

2)Only Heather Mills.

Grantus - Yes, I once ended up in bed with a female Welsh hockey player. She was so big I couldn't fit in the bed so ended up on the floor with my jumper as a quilt and my shoes as a pillow. I also failed to get it up.

Lefty3668 Posted on 21/3 12:34
re: On my own....

Just so long as you've checked.

Shouldn't that be up'n'under.

sasboro Posted on 26/4 16:39
re: On my own....

so how did the story end? on a happy note?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 16:42
re: On my own....

Pat the blackbird is looking for a rich man but lives in SLough and has kids. As I am not rich, have no desire to live in Slough and don't have the time for fatherhood at the moment she's on the reserves list. There is another contender though.....But I've yet to crack her....

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 16:43
re: On my own....

Oh and the name Pat conjurs up images of big fat blonde cockney lesbians...

boroboy75 Posted on 26/4 16:45
re: On my own....

Another contender?
So your alleged 'bird' has opted for her colleagues truncheon, rather than yours?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 16:48
re: On my own....

Yeah, another contender for my affections.

Nah, she loves me....

grantus Posted on 26/4 16:55
re: On my own....

I thought you've got a woman Lisbon?

Plus, just because this one is a mother who is after a man with money, doesn't mean she doesn't have, "needs".

--- Post edited by grantus on 26/4 16:56 ---

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 16:57
re: On my own....

I do have a woman grantus but it doesn't stop me window shopping and maybe if the right offer comes along I can enter the shop like Mr Benn.

sasboro Posted on 26/4 16:58
re: On my own....

i bet lisbonlegend has about 3 women on the go

boroboy75 Posted on 26/4 16:59
re: On my own....

sas, judging him by his appearance on the North east news, that is highly unlikely.

grantus Posted on 26/4 17:02
re: On my own....

Having a 3 women on the go is no big shake. Having 3 wives, now that takes some doing.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 17:03
re: On my own....

I'm past that stage sas, 3 is just too many to handle. I'm a one girl guy from now.

Boroboy, you cheeky tvvat.

sasboro Posted on 26/4 17:03
re: On my own....

i though you were into footballers in nightclubs now

Lefty3668 Posted on 26/4 17:17
re: On my own....

You wear a bowler hat to work?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 17:27
re: On my own....

No, he followed me sas and not the other way round.

No Lefty, I wear a ski jacket and balaclava.

Lefty3668 Posted on 26/4 17:28
re: On my own....

I missed that episode.

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 17:30
re: On my own....

Here it is.

Link: ..............

Lefty3668 Posted on 26/4 17:36
re: On my own....

What's that got to do with Mr Benn?

Lisbonlegend Posted on 26/4 17:39
re: On my own....