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Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:27
My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

My fiance of the last three and a half years dumped me today.
I'm gutted.

She was seeing someone last summer when due to a driving ban she had to move out of our home to live near her work. (15 miles from our newly bought home)

That ended, but now a year on, her driving ban has finished, she has told me she doesn't love me, - after I ferried her everywhere due to her driving ban. She has not lived in our house for more than 5 days since the ban finished - so I started an investigation.....

My undercover investigation provided results, unfortunate results - I even heard her lovers friends' talk about her and this guy while on my train to work - completely coincidence - and I know that it's a guy from her work who she has been shagging recently.

On Friday we are both due to go on a two week holiday which is a drive through USA. What shall I do? I own all the tickets. I can stop her.

She has told me that she either goes or doesn't go. I now don't want her to come, but I'll be lonely I think while away, esp. if all I can think of is her shagging this other guy, surely it's punishment if I make her come with me.

What do I do about our house? She owns more than me, but we signed the form to say we legally own equal.

Anyone been in similar circumstances? Or any solictors offering services?

More importantly I'm now getting drunk....
Anyone know some good songs to listen to for the next hour while I continue to drink my self into oblivion.

Another thing, her profession deals with a professional body. I have evidence that can end her career tomorrow without a trial.

What do I do? I'm not horrible person, but she has being horrible to me.

coheadboro Posted on 28/9 0:28
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

not read much of that but sorry to hear about it if it's true

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:29
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

It is true. Thanks for your thoughts.

kazzaxxx Posted on 28/9 0:31
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

tell her to sling her hook
and the house has to be shared equally,

capio Posted on 28/9 0:31
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

screw her over, she deserves it and you will feel better, if you feel bad tell me and I will do it for you.

boro_matt Posted on 28/9 0:32
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Sorry to hear about that mate.

My fiance dumped me on Monday, after 8 years!!!

Can't offer much advice, sorry, I still have a million things rushing around in my head.

I was very drunk on Monday night, as you will know if you read any of my posts / threads on here!!!

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:32
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Firstly take me to America with you.

Secondly. About the house, depends what you are have signed to show your intentions are, if you can show a common intention to share the house equally, you will get 50/50, doesnt matter about what shares in what.

Don't get her sacked you will regret it.

Drink plenty of Jack Daniels, and listen to Nelly Furtado- Promiscious Girl Chin up!

capio Posted on 28/9 0:33
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

don't listen to that, there is no such thing as right or wrong, just those who can and those who can't.

SCREW HER OVER you know it makes sense.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:34
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

The thing is, she put much more into the house than me.
But we both signed the form and ticked the box that means that legally we do own exactly the same amount. However, the only reason she could put a large amount into the house is because she got about 250k when her father died in front of her. She put 60k into the house - I put 5k cos that's all I could afford - I earn a good london wage, but I'm 29 and that was my complete savings.

I also legally own her car, as her drink driving ban meant she had to sign it over to me so we could go places.

Just looking back over this, you really couldn't make it up could you.

--- Post edited by Arctic_Mongoose on 28/9 0:36 ---

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:36
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

The car is yours its in your name, no worries there sunshine.

As for the house it doesnt matter, as I said if you both contributed money at the time of purchase, and have both been paying the bills, the law sees this as "common intention", you will get 50/50, if you signed the forms correctly.

Boro85 Posted on 28/9 0:37
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Take 50% of the house and keep the car. Regarding the job you've got leverage there if you ever need it, but id give it a few days to sink in before thinking about taking capios advice and shafting her over.

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:38
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Listen to 85, he is a sensible chap

Rondo_1 Posted on 28/9 0:39
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

She should have thought about the consequences, screw her for everything it's worth.

Women = Snakes with tits (but not on a plane)

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:39
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Smifter - You're probably right. It's not a case of getting her sacked. She could never work again at what she trained at Uni at.

Sorry I can't take you, unless you live within a 'red alert' call of Heathrow on Saturday morning! As I guess thats when it comes to the crunch. Even though I've already booked a hotel on the Friday at Heathrow to make it easy for us - that was before all this - we live 25 miles away from Heathrow!

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

See you Saturday

kazzaxxx Posted on 28/9 0:41
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

if you deffo split you are entitled to half
but dont go halfing tables and beds etc especially with a chain saw smile and the whole world smiles with me

Rondo_1 Posted on 28/9 0:42
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

A bloke at BASF Seal Sands halved everything with a circular saw.

capio Posted on 28/9 0:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Get her to sign over the house, the car and on the agreement you will not shaft her and once she signs.

Shaft her.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

To make matters worse my housemates at Uni were her sister and her sisters husband who is probably in the top5 of my friends list. Not that I do that, but if I did. Though I think that both would now stick up for me.

The mortgage comes out of her account, but I pay £550 a month to her for it, she pays £480. We do this cos I earn more.
Obviously whatever happens from now, that last higher payment happened on yesterday.

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:45
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Can't give you mortagage advice, cos I dont have one, just done a bit of land law. All depends if you want to sell the house or not. DO NOT SHAFT HER, You loved her once, and probably still do

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:46
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I do have morals.
Drunken, last night I threatened her with all sorts. Non violent obviously I'm never like that.
But no one knows about her drink driving ban. So I said I would tell everyone.
But I don't need to mess with that s**t do I. I have it all. I have 50%.

Rondo_1 Posted on 28/9 0:46
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Shaft her. If it was the other way around she would.

capio Posted on 28/9 0:48
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Exactly Rondo after break ups, men always try be nice and get shafted, don't try be her friend women can't do that, SHAFT HER BEFORE SHE SHAFTS YOU.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Smifter - you're right I do love her. I can't not suddenly stop that. I don't think I could shaft her, but I really think I could threaten to shaft her and then things go from bad to worse....


Ohhh.................


ANyway, back to myu original question, I have nearly every song ever on my pc, what is good to listen to after a break up?

Boromatt - sorry to hear that. Eight years man? can't imagine how bad that is. Take care.

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Don't have to be her friend. He has the car, he has 50% of the house which he paid 5k towards, he will come out financially ok out of it. Emotionally it will take time, but you will be ok

apl1970 Posted on 28/9 0:50
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You obviously still think a lot of this girl. Apart from painful is there any anemosity involved? Is there a chance you`ll ever get back together? If your feeling quite humiliated by all this and angry about what she did I`d get the spare keys and get the car one night (you do have a spare key?). Then let her know that your having half the house and if she doesn`t agree, threaten her with yur information about her job. Why thefuck would she want to go on holiday with you anyway now? Is she after dishing out some more humiliation? i.e. he`s got a massive dick/ is a better shag kind of thing. Then again, you could always take her and leave her somewhere remote, I`ve heard that Nevada desert can be nice this time of year.........................

It all depends on if you want this to be a friendly break or a complete one. Your not some young kid who doesn`t know better and should be able to decide.



Keep us informed.

Smifter Posted on 28/9 0:52
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You dont need to ask her for 50%, you are entitled to 50%, no need to threaten any sort of information.

apl1970 Posted on 28/9 0:53
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Just read the bit about music. DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD `I REMEBER WHEN WE DID THIS` TYPE OF SONGS.

Otley_Boro_Fan Posted on 28/9 0:58
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Mr Mongoose

As a lonstanding admirer of your username, allow me to summarise.

1) Your lass cheats on you.
2) you forgive her.
3) she does it again.
4) she dumps you.

I know the situation will hurt like fook, and I genuinely am sorry for you, but look at the facts!

You did not create the current situation, but you are suffering because of it.

Take what you can get and start over my friend.

I wish you good luck and hope you have much future happiness with somebody else.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 0:59
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I've already grabbed her spare car key. Unfortunately, I cancelled my insurance three days ago - I had full insurance on the car - but I get train to work so don't need it and she would put me on as named driver as she had to get new insurance after ban.
So i have car key, but no insurance..... But..... I still haven't sent insruance certificate back to elephant so I think I might be insured as they ask for seven days. Anyway I won't risk that at all, if I need to drive I will ring them, as I've already decided I will post the certificate back to elephant while at Heathrow.


I have been one step ahead and have sorted out all spare keys and locked copies in my drawer at work.

Horrendously I've already thought about leaving her somewhere.
We fly to Boston, she has no idea of anywhere of the 7 hotels and towns we go to. I've thought about driving off, but only when drunk and angry - i couldn't do that.

I'll keep you informed. At moment, I think I'll just not let her come. I'm meeting a mate in Boston to watch the baseball on Saturday, and I'll just change plans and stay at his - near New York in between driving to whereever I want!

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 1:00
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Cheers obf.
You talk sense.

dundeejock Posted on 28/9 1:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Mate-take her to America but keep the tickets.Have a great holiday-shag her if the chance arises and then when its time to come home dont give her her ticket and fly back alone

Smifter Posted on 28/9 1:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I "joked" about letting me come with you But surely there must be someone who you know, family or friend who could go with you instead? Get one of the lads to go with you, you will have a wicked time

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 1:07
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You can't ask someone to come with you if I dont' know whether I want her to come with me. What do I do? Have someone waiting at check in? Name changes etc. won't happen, everyone needs time off work.

Dundeejock - this morning that's what I thought. We'd probably have a really drunken night out and I'd shag her esp. as we are double beds in all hotels. However now after a day of what we've said to each other she'd never let me shag her ever again so that option has gone.

capio Posted on 28/9 1:08
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Arctic lets face it we have all been there when we find out that a person isn't who we thought they were and that we viewed that person as we wanted to see them, don't be sad, she did you over, get even.

JBBORO Posted on 28/9 1:12
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

dont do anything, go on holiday alone, meet your mate and decide when you get back.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 1:12
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Found my song to get me going angry and standing up for myself - Blink 182 - Time to break up - Album - Take off your pants and jacket. And the next song on the album - 'What went wrong'.


Quite a true song - "You've fu**ked up my life"

Wise words capio. I can't let her get away with her taking away the hope and dreams I had. Now I don't have then, she took them from me .

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 1:14
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

JBBORO - I agree.

Ohhhh. How come I agree with everyone?

JBBORO Posted on 28/9 1:18
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

when you get back, things will make more sense. do the things you want to on holiday, even if you are alone for some of it, enjoy it. the financial things will sort them selves out and you'll be sorted. getting used to not being with her will take some time, but it wont be long until you move on. dont be bitter about it, you must have known it wasnt working as it should, what she did isnt good, but in the long run, im sure everything will work out ok for u. these things happen, its how you deal with it that matters.

capio Posted on 28/9 1:23
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

The only healer is time, so you may as well make her miserable as well.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 1:23
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Ta dude. Hope you're right.

Grumpy_Paul Posted on 28/9 1:36
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Once the initiall devastation has settled, negotiate. If you can come to a fair and reasonable settlement then fine, otherwise take her for all you can as it appears you are the wronged party given the info in your post. Sort things out then move on. Obviously easier said than done.
I wish you all the best once the dust has settled

TheYak87 Posted on 28/9 1:37
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Johnny Cash - Hurt
That'll cheer you up.

Grumpy_Paul Posted on 28/9 1:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Alternatively,
If you want to be nasty,
take her to America and allow her passport to disappear mid flight then watch and laugh, US immigration are very tetchy nowadays.

mboro19 Posted on 28/9 2:04
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I agree with Grumpy's first post.

Do not go on holiday with her. Going away together will only result in a string of argurements and you seriously considering killing her. You have to remember that she is the one in the wrong so you hold all the cards.

Go on holiday alone if you cant find anybody to go with you, if you do find somebody to go make sure its a good friend who will listen to you. Do all that you planned to do on holiday and enjoy yourself because all the hard work will start when you get back.

When you are back give her a deal. You keep the car, sell the house, pay of the mortgage and split the profit 50/50. Try and do everything fairly.

If after all that she has the cheek to play hard ball after she is the one who caused all this and tries to shaft you, say that either she accepts the deal or you will make sure she loses her job and everybody knows about her ban.

This way you were the bigger man but she is so deceitful that she forced you into lowering your standards so that you didnt come out of the situation with no pride and no pennies.

Its the only way to go about this and you will come out with your dignity intact.

Good luck bud and keep us posted.

--- Post edited by mboro19 on 28/9 2:06 ---

JSawyers200 Posted on 28/9 2:23
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

My situation:

Back in January of this year, my fiance arranged for a night out with friend of relatives form Australia who was over here on a travelling holiday. I picked her up from where she was staying and they both went out for a "girls" night out in Boro.

I spent the night at home, happily minding my business and next thing it is 8 in the morning and i wake up with my fiance fully dressed but passed out next to me on the bed with her mobile phone on her chest. Picked up her mobile and found messages from a lad she had met on the night out asking her how she would explain to her boyfriend that she had "been" with someone else.

Obvious happened, I hit the roof, she denied it, idiot here forgave her. 3 months later, not sure why i did it, maybe to pay her back, i did the same. She dumped me and wants nothing to do with me ever again.

I have admitted I was wrong in what i did and have asked her to give me another chance, like I did with her.

What I did was wrong but no worse than what she did and because of that I am struggling to get to grips with the situation I am in.

Women have a lot to answer for. One rule for them and one for blokes.

Load of bollox.

Timboi Posted on 28/9 2:54
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

If she wants you to be fair about things, she should have thought of that before playing away from home.
Actions have consequences and people should be made to pay for thier actions. She wasn't thinking about you when she was being unfaithful.
Sometimes there's more than meets the eye though; did you have problems? Sometimes people do things they regret and her behaviour *could* be one of those things she regrets but if it's obvious she doesn't give a crap, give her no quarter.
A trip on your todd could actually be a great idea; it might not seems like it now but you experience far more when travelling by yourself and it might give you an opportunity to clear you head.
You're going to have to push the image of her with someone else out of your mind.
Have a bit of a cray, dist yourself off and look forward. everything may seem like all the colours gone but realsitically, there's no other attitude to have when this stuff happens. Onwards and upwards.
As far as the house goes, it's 50/50 - call it instant karma.

--- Post edited by Timboi on 28/9 2:55 ---

mark_wilson_boro Posted on 28/9 3:16
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

What Smifter says is generally right, however it's not as simple as intention!

In any case don't rely on my advice or anyone elses on here, get yourself to a proper solicitor!

bic_biro_eye Posted on 28/9 3:37
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

crowded house - "hey now hey now dont dream its over"

HOU_Boro Posted on 28/9 3:56
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Arctic,

Best of luck to you. It's an awful feeling I know - I've been there. In response to your original question about records, Try playing anything that make's YOU feel good - and play it LOUD (Sod the neighbours!) Look after number 1.

Rio_Verde Posted on 28/9 5:33
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

The big question is surely-- do you love her? Your options are limited if they are, because if you think a lot of this girl then you'll find it hard to break free from her no matter what she does to you. So that's the question for you and if you do you'll have to follow the road--no matter where it takes you--- all the money in the world can't solve your situation if you can't break free. However, if you can't dispell the love thing, then you can move forward without her.

j_orourke Posted on 28/9 5:45
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Rondo_1 Posted on 28/9 5:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Anything by Mulligan and O'Hare

Reading1967 Posted on 28/9 7:24
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Ah the old after midnight posters, who full of drink feel the need to share their lives on a message board

try writing to that old bag in the "Sun"

Its called life mate deal with it

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 7:35
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Morning, won't say "good" as it probably isn't for you.
Don't listen to any of the bo11ocks off here, you need a professional.
Go get yourself a solicitor, ideally one that you know from the past.
Don't sign anything or make any commiments without checking it with your solictor first.
Try to avoid it ending in court.
Good Luck.

piggy_nichol Posted on 28/9 7:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Take a mate on holiday or go alone. Why sit next to next to some one in a plane or a car that you are likely to start screaming at every ten minutes.

See a solicitor about the carving up of the assets and let them deal with it.

Dont seek revenge by trying to stitch her up at work, you will be worse regarded than her and it may even be construed as harassment.

Just keep her at arms length and try to move on. Even if you cant in your head, lead a 'moving on' lifestyle until you can. A holiday in America without her is a great way to start.

ToneLoc Posted on 28/9 7:59
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Reading1967 if you ain't got anything constructive to say just fook off.

AM come live in St Albans and i'll look after you. The girls are great!

ToneLoc Posted on 28/9 8:00
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

As for the song. I'd go for some thing carthic like Rage Against The Machine or Prodigy.

woodys_wood_pecker Posted on 28/9 8:09
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Get yourself to a solicitor before you do anything so that they can handle it in a above board legal way so that you dont do anything rash and come out of it looking just as guilty as she did.

Id also suggest to go on holiday on your own, get a friend or family member to come with you if you can but no way should you go on holiday with your ex, it will be the holiday from hell and just ruin your holiday. You will come home feeling worse where as if you went on your own it gives you 2 weeks away from it all and chance to think it over rationally.

Good luck!

capio Posted on 28/9 8:26
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Aye get a lawyer and then shaft her.

plymuff_diver Posted on 28/9 8:34
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

That sounds lousy.

Advice? It's hard to do but try to leave the alcohol and sad songs alone (though if you must, I can recommend Manfred Mann's 'Fox on the Run' and Tom Waits 'Emotional weather report'). I don't think you'll reflect happily on any acts of revenge. A holiday in the States sounds like a good way to gain perspective (and meet anglophile women). Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

joseph99 Posted on 28/9 8:34
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Be grateful that she showed you consideration by being adulterous before any kids came on the scene. Thank her.

Get a good, trustworthy solicitor.

Go on holiday with a friend or alone. You will be shhyte company so probably go alone, besides it will be brillant for characyer building.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 8:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Hard luck mate, it must be very tough at the moment.

However you dont need to start getting her sacked and humiliating her.

Sure she's hurt you, but do that and there's no way back for you both (not sure whether you'd want that anyway) but just hold your head up high, and take the moral high ground.

Good luck.

LIDDLE_TOWERS Posted on 28/9 8:51
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

for once capio,s right

have er over

oh and as for the song

sinead o conner - nothing compares to u

OverTheTopAussie Posted on 28/9 9:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

So sorry to hear your news.

What ever you do, don't shaft her, especially with the job thing.

Get a solictor and tell them what you think is a fair outcome.
Let your solicitor play hardball (because thats what it will take to get a fair outcome) and you make sure you stay civil and blame the solicitor for everything.

Try to keep your cool, its no good to you & will give her an excuse (he wasn't very nice anyway) if you lose it. If you've already blown up at her, don't use that as an excuse for yourself to keep doing it. Let it have been a once-off.

Time & new love will heal the wounds, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.


--- Post edited by OverTheTopAussie on 28/9 9:06 ---

spiros1 Posted on 28/9 9:05
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

"hold your head up, and take the moral high ground"

Yea that will make you feel loads better. Get her shafted, you know it makes sense

capio Posted on 28/9 9:07
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Well said spiros, shaft her, she deserves it.

Scubahood Posted on 28/9 9:10
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Sorry to hear about your c_unt of an ex.

As for songs... predictable I know, but you need heavy metal, and lots of it.

towz Posted on 28/9 9:15
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I hate myself and wanna die - Nirvana

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 9:16
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I fail to see how you can shaft someone who you loved not a week ago, hurting her wont make you feel any better.

Act like grown ups, not tit for tat little children.

capio Posted on 28/9 9:17
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

When you're loving a lie, it is easy, revenge is the way forward.

kermit_the_smog Posted on 28/9 9:19
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Listen to Dry Your Eyes by The Streets =D

or Groove Armarda - Hands of Time

or listen to Larrikin Love - Happy as Annie (nice jolly song :D)

or The Kooks - You Don't Love Me

or Slipknot - People = Shiit / Spit it out / wait and bleed

Reading1967 Posted on 28/9 9:28
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

On my own Michael McDonald and Patti Labelle should cheer you up

Toneloc- St Albans eh, kinda fits why you would be interested in other peoples lives that

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 9:37
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Cheers for advice everyone. Seems like I should get a solicitor to make sure everything goes correct.

ToneLoc/Reading1967 - Ha. I actually do live in St Albans.

teflondon Posted on 28/9 9:38
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

shot all her stuff out of the house and leave it all in her car on the drive
change all the locks and lock the house up
go on holiday and either go by yourself or give it to a mate and
have a good laugh in the states enjoy yourself then come back and youll be ready for the nasty stuff when you get back

bozo68 Posted on 28/9 9:39
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Stop being so considerate, she wouldn't if the roles were reversed. Take the bitch for half of everything, sell her car, move north and be wealthy.

Rondo_1 : Do you work at BASF? I used to and know the lad who cut all his furniture in half. Worst thing was she wasn't entitled to any of it anyway. Somebody told him 'cos she'd lived with him for more than six months she was entitled to half, but as everything including all bills were in his name she was due fuckall!

janplanner Posted on 28/9 9:47
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

the end of the affair - the fieldmice

go on holiday on your own and have a good think about what you want to do. can you live with taking her fathers money from her? i know i'd have trouble with that. and don't go shafting her career, again, you have to live with the knowledge of what you do now for the rest of your life.

i'm not being mean, but you've told us all about the dreadful things she's done to you, but have you never once done anything that contributed to the situation yourself? it's very rare that break-ups are all one-sided.

so take the holiday time to think about all of this, then come back and get a solicitor and try and work out a fair settlement on the house and the car, one that you know you can live with furhter down the line, when all the hurt and anger and humiliation have faded away.

anyway, i hope you fell better soon. it's a horrible time for you.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 10:11
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

worryingly, I find myself agreeing with Capio again...

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 10:15
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I'll say it again, theres a lot of bo11ocks being talked.
See a solicitor NOW.
Getting angry and trying to get "even" will cost you an arm and a leg and could make you worse off.
Looking down at someone from the moral high ground is no bad thing.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 10:21
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I agree with those who say screw her over.
The bloke she's been shagging deserves a good hiding too, like all home wreckers do.
Be thankful that you haven't got any kids.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 10:27
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

do the sensible thing, sort out the financials and THEN screw her over...why not?

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 10:30
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Thats the thing about the law, it's there to stop either party screwing the other over (finnacially), the law doesn't care who was right and who was wrong.
In divorce law the first rule is "are the kids ok?", then " has the money been sorted out and signed off ?"
The only time the law gets interested is if someone tries to pull a fast one on the courts, or tries violence etc.

Trying to be clever will cost you a shed load.
Settle it, walk away.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 10:32
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

broroboy75, the voice of reason.

Bit of violence, will solve everything.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 10:35
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Lizards Jumper, the ever forgiving pacifist. I suppose it's easy to be that way if you don't know anyone who has been through it.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 10:38
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I thought gingers generally had fiery tempers?

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 10:38
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

actually BB75, some people do know what the blokes going through, and your advice is pretty stupid and based on beer hall bravado ? It has little to do with the real world.
Think about it
He kicks off, slaps her about, does the bloke over, gets charged and sent down, loses house, loses job, is on the back foot for a financial settlement.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 10:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Do I not ?

Thanks for imforming me that a part of my life was actually imagined by myself.

George1507 Posted on 28/9 10:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

1. Go on holiday with somebody else.
2. See a lawyer to discover the true position. Being a joint owner of your house doesn't necessarily entitle you to 50% of the sale price.
3. You may not be entitled to keep the car.
4. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT wreck her career out of spite or to make you feel better. It won't and it will fuel the animosity.
5. Consider what Janplanner said - do you feel that you should take half of the house - and the car? You should get yourself out of this relationship as soon as possible and an amicable settlement will be a lot faster than a tussle involving lawyers.
6. Can you honestly say you are the wronged party, with no guilt associated at all?
7. Choose your next long term partner very carefully.

...and the song - My girl's mad at me by Madness

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 10:46
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Commisar, where did I say slap her about?
Lizard, you must have been a great help to them.

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 10:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You said it heer BB75

I agree with those who say screw her over.
The bloke she's been shagging deserves a good hiding too,

"too" which is probably a badly spelt "to"

Now we have that cleared up......

either way, as soon as one party raises a fist, they are on the back foot legally. No judge is going to view someone getting a kicking in a positive light.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 10:50
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

If I'd have known that a little casual violence would have put things right, then I'd have been happy to oblidge.

Perhaps a job at relate awaits you ?

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 10:51
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Oh and seeing it on one of your soaps doesnt count as knowing someone who's been through it bb75.

rozi Posted on 28/9 10:54
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Go to America, put everything out of your mind and enjoy yourself as best you can. Come home with a clear head and then decide what's best to do. The last year must have been very tough for you, trying to put trust back into your relationship after the lady cheated on you. If you were strong enough for that then you can get through the next few difficult months. Try not to do anything in haste that you will regret later on. You have cyber friends who will help you as much as they can. As for music, try listening to something upbeat rather than wallowing in sad songs that will make you feel worse, remember - the rest of your life is waiting and whether it's happy or not is down to you. The next few months will be tough but don't let her ruin the rest of it. Good luck.

--- Post edited by rozi on 28/9 10:58 ---

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 10:55
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Misinterpretations, commisar.
I was suggesting that as well as screwing her over, make sure the bloke doesn't get away scot free.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 10:58
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

By the way, getting a ticking off for a spelling or grammar mistake by someone who types in English/Dutch hybrid language is quite ironic, Commisarse.

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 11:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

By the way, getting a ticking off for a spelling or grammar mistake by someone who types in English/Dutch hybrid language is quite ironic, Commisarse.


this from the boards resident wit......it wasn't the typo numb nuts, you were advocating a kicking as a way forward.
Dead clever, like.

heaton_mersey_boro Posted on 28/9 11:03
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

One thing you should try to do, hard though it will be, is keep it amicable (and much biting of tongue etc) until the house and everything else is sorted. Then extract your revenge any way you want.

Getting a solicitor involved from day one in theory will be a good idea, but in practice could inflame the situation. At the end of the day, if your solicitor is crap and hers is very good you could get screwed. And then for the "privelage" pay said solicitor a small fortune for what amount to legally sorting paperwork.

If she has a wedge of cash, ask her if she wants to buy you out. If not sell the house and go 50/50 (so what if she has put in more than you?). Quickest and easiest way for both parties to walk away.

Car is yours, end of.

Holiday with her, as somebody rightly posted, could be a very, very, very bad idea. Any mates who want to go with you?

Leave her, walk away, and speak to her only when you have to.

And good luck.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 11:04
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

For example,
"too" which is probably a badly spelt "to".--?????

DrBuck Posted on 28/9 11:12
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

These things happen Arctic, best not to apportion blame, just try and cope. Go to the States by yourself and let it flow.

Give yourself a good dose of Blood on the Tracks by Dylan, Sea Change by Beck or Blood and Chocolate by Elvis Costello.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 11:17
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Dont go on hioliday on your own, youll spend the whole week/fortnight wallowing in self pity.

Take a friend, or even better one of her friends..

and spend some time by the sea, I always find that helps my soul in times of trouble...

Huan_Kerr Posted on 28/9 11:46
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

bb75
Does your skin get frosty with the dew?

ayresomeangel365 Posted on 28/9 12:47
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

keep a cool head...get the finances sorted out as best as you can...when settled drop her in BIG style and fook her up good and proper...the cheating tw@....then get yasel an honest lass and forget all about the bitch
thats what I did and it works a treat
btw ...you sound too good for her...keep smiling u hear!!

ToneLoc Posted on 28/9 12:53
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Reading1967 please try to make some sense if your trying to insult me. Dumb Goon.

dean_glovers_studs Posted on 28/9 13:00
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

do the slag over and dont think twice about it. even if you got back with her she'd screw you again at some point. get your half of the equity, move somewhere else if you ever see her again, just geg at her.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 13:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

"just geg at her"

I dread to think what that means.

dean_glovers_studs Posted on 28/9 13:15
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

its basically spitting but with more malice!

capio Posted on 28/9 13:23
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

He knows what it means, he is trying to pretend he is terribly posh like his female equivalent on this board always does.

--- Post edited by capio on 28/9 13:28 ---

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 13:29
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

errr I don't.

I would refer to that as Gozzing, and as for people pretending to be posh........hello Mr Pot, good afternoon Mr Kettle.

capio Posted on 28/9 13:31
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Oh gosh sweetie really darling, I'm just going to puff a pillow and then I am off to jojo's to buy some new bath salts, oh darling did you see those shoes that Joan was wearing? omg I know hideous girlfriend!

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 13:33
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Yawwwwnnnn.

Haven't you got some philanthropy you should be boasting about or something ?

For a busy self made businessman you seem to spend an awful lot of time on here, begging for mates to play football with.

dean_glovers_studs Posted on 28/9 13:34
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I'll settle this - both gozzing and gegging are acceptable Boro terms for spitting, though they both infer a more vicious attach than merely spitting which usually infers mucus is directed at the floor. Gegging is often accompanied by a verbal attack which may in turn provoke a physical encounter.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 13:36
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

We used to refer to it as 'flegging', as well.

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 13:36
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Mr Glover, you need to get that down on Wikipedia.....within days you'll have the various dictionary publishers offering you a job

capio Posted on 28/9 13:36
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I can spend as much time as I want because I am not busy and I don't work very much at the moment only when I can be bothered I have just had one meeting this morning and Iím done whereas you're being paid by somebody and you're short changing them.
tut tut.

towz Posted on 28/9 13:37
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

To be honest it does my head in when people whinge about relationships splitting up. Your supposed to be an adult. Just accept things don't work out all the time and stop sulking like a spoilt brat. It's pathetic.

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 13:38
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand pause for breath !

capio Posted on 28/9 13:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Towz all joking apart, whilst I agree putting in on a messagaboard isn't too wise, when a serious relationship ends its hard for everybody even the toughest of people.

Just getting on with it, is not that easy.

dean_glovers_studs Posted on 28/9 13:42
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

cheers commisar - always knew I was wasted in IT, maybe I have found my true calling.

Dont want to get off topic though, you can see in the replies who has and who hasnt been proper shafted by a lass in their lives, sure it happens to 90% of lads and its not nice.

Arctic Mongoose:
- keep the car
- get half the house
- DONT grass her up about her job
- You cant be mates with her sister anymore, maybe her sisters hubby though but probably not.
- Get your equity, you have a good job, get a bachelor pad somewhere cool where there is plenty going on and get yourself out with your mates.
- If you start thinking about her, go do something else.
- once all legalities sorted, dont have anything to do with her.

a year down the line you'll be laughing. good luck mate!

towz Posted on 28/9 13:50
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

you shouldn't put yourself in the position to be shafted if you don't want shafting.

capio Posted on 28/9 13:51
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Whenenver you're in a relationship, you leave yourself open to that, your current partner could screw you over, that's life.

Reading1967 Posted on 28/9 14:03
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Toneloc - me a dumb goon
coming from someone who works night shifts, and "waits for the drunks to come on"
and enlightens us with riveting tales how "the alarms have gone off at work"
I can see how AM`s woes would excite you

ToneLoc Posted on 28/9 14:16
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You are a silly little boy Reading1967. An ignorant one too it seems. Anyway you continue in your fluffy pink world were you are king and i'll continue on my own more realistic path. Toodle pip

MsCurly Posted on 28/9 14:20
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I've always found the best revenge you can exact is by showing (even feigning) complete indifference, moving on with your life and finding new happiness.

Take what is rightfully yours, and keep hold of your dignity.

The_Commisar Posted on 28/9 14:21
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Christ Caps, thats a bit cynical, hope you havn't been on the reciving end.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 14:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

cynical but true...Capio, will uyou please stop posting things i agree iwth, its getting worrying!

btw, Id say Flegging...

KENDAL Posted on 28/9 14:48
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

It's happened to me in the past. The best advice I would give is for you to rise above it all or it will make you a bitter and twisted person making the hurting period last a whole lot longer. go on holiday with a friend and deal with the financial implications when you've had a cooling off period.

capio Posted on 28/9 15:01
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Always take naked photo's of your partner, just in case.

MontTeettyBlanc Posted on 28/9 15:09
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Sorry to hear about this mate - haven't had quite the same situation but have been dumped before so know how it hurts.

Don't whatever you do take revenge... yet - it'll give you satisfaction but then you'll only feel guilty and you're not in a position where you should.

My advice would be to go away as planned but take a good mate instead, even if it means paying to get the name changed on the ticket.

A drive across America with a pal will be an amazing experience and you might be surprised at how being in a totally different place helps you forget, temporarily, about what she's done.

If she kicks up a fuss and tries to come along or go instead of you, use the threat thing but only as a last resort.

As someone's already said, stuff like this takes a lot of time to get over but the least you deserve is a holiday and some time to think.

Take care fella.

Jimmy_Boy Posted on 28/9 15:10
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Firstly i hope she doesn't read FMTTM..

I've been there so know what you're going through - fortunately there was no joint property involved.

However, ensure you get what you are entitled to.
Tell her sisters mate (who's your mate) that you want everything to be amicable and reasonable as long as she is and tell him (because its bound to get back) what she's done - but do it in a clever way - put the guilt back on her - she's in the wrong isn't she?

Good luck.

--- Post edited by Jimmy_Boy on 28/9 15:11 ---

capio Posted on 28/9 15:11
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Jesus I feel like I am trapped on the set of the Waltons, where do all you wonderful people live?

SHAFT THE BEYOTCH.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 15:14
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

hang on, she wants to go with you?

Just take her and kick her out in Texas or some other redneck cesspit....

dean_glovers_studs Posted on 28/9 15:17
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

flegging is also an acceptable term for malicious spitting.

burydweller Posted on 28/9 15:29
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

You need to learn a very hard lesson mate, I hope you learn it as your dependancy on relationships, irrelevant of how your partner behaves, appears desperate. I know its painful right now, terribly so, and I am sorry for that feeling.

However, to go back to a cheating partner is plain daft, to book a USA road trip with her is crazy. Always remember, relationships that work are very easy and not demanding or emotionally draining.

Many have been there, including myself. In retrospect, the women who ignore your texts for a day, or dont return calls, or who pick a fight out of the blue, or go silent for a few days in the relationship, but always come back with 'sorry' are not worth it. Thier behaviours are consistent and never change. Move on mate, you had a great warning after her first shagging, what did you expect? to love her is crazy, love someone who loves you and respects you, seems this bint has an horrendous personality.

I met the love of my life on www.makefriendsonline.com I can confirm most slags like to go on the pisss every weekend with 'mates' and usually dont touch the net. I fell on my feet with my wonderful woman, so could you.

Good luck

dmax Posted on 28/9 16:40
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I know how you feel arctic. I've been there myself. The best advice for you is to be with friends as much as you can right now. Another thing would be that whenever you have to have any contact with her... be as happy as you can - even if you've got to act..that will P*ss her off. But try and keep as much distance between yourself and her as you can for now. Get what you are entitled to - don't under any circumstances go away with her.... but most of all... remember what she has done to you, because its a horrible thing, and rest assured - in a few months you will look upon all of this with different eyes, and realise you've had one hell of a lucky escape.

boroboy75 Posted on 28/9 16:42
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Oh, and as a song suggestion : Delilah - Tom Jones

mufflar Posted on 28/9 16:43
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

didnt you realise she was cockcrazy when you met her?

GillZean Posted on 28/9 16:46
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Wise words, burydweller.

Oh and shag one of her sisters, as well

ShoarmaLocusts Posted on 28/9 16:48
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Ten Storey Love Song by The Stone Roses helped me once.

Comfortably Numb for when youre pissed by Pink Floyd,lose yourself in Dave Gilmour drunken oblivion.

and go to the US on your own,youll love it.....

GillZean Posted on 28/9 16:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Take one of your mates.

Or a female 'friend' from work, and shag her. A lot.

mufflar Posted on 28/9 16:49
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

or I am the Resurrection by the Stone Roses.

thats if you are going to get your chin up like..

japsterboro Posted on 28/9 16:58
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Take one of your ex's friends. And poke her up the corn-hole. Make a video of you performing this act and post it to your ex when your return home.

Then life will become interesting again.

BarnesBoro Posted on 28/9 17:31
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Man, I would screw her over royally.

Driving her around all the while she sleeping around.
Fck her job!

Take a mate with you to USA. THey love the english accent there. Get loaded and get laid.

While listening to um..."The Homo Rainbow" that always puts me in a good mood.

newholgate Posted on 28/9 18:11
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

This is where the law is all wrong. If someone decides to have an affair/see other people then they should be forced to give up everything. Why should the innocent party have to suffer any more by giving up half of what they own when they played fair!

Really sorry to hear about this. I hope you get sorted out and I hope she comes out very badly from it. Bitch!

SuperRav Posted on 28/9 18:20
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

not sure of the artist, but the songs called 'i got 99 problems but a biatch ain't one'

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 28/9 18:21
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

It's called 99 Problems, and it's by Jay-Z.

jo290204 Posted on 28/9 18:24
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

keep your dignity she is not worth it, go on holiday try to enjoy yourself, get what you are entitled to which is half of every thing, but can i just say not all women are like her some of us are nice keep your pekka up and have a good holiday but not with her

sasboro Posted on 28/9 19:59
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

just be careful that when you are on holiday some things in the house may disappear or even the locks get changed. is it a wise move going on holiday before things are sorted out? who knows he may move in while you are away

capio Posted on 28/9 20:12
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

When the guy is as low as he can be, sasboro can always take him lower.

sasboro Posted on 28/9 20:23
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

piss off mr fantasist, as if you are a worthy person to give out advise!

--- Post edited by sasboro on 28/9 20:25 ---

TeessideCleveland Posted on 28/9 20:34
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Hire a good solicitor
Go on holiday without her (changing the locks at the house-I assume it is alarmed-first)
Then come back and make sure you get what is rightfully yours
You should not feel guilty about getting what you are entitled to
Hopefully things will not get nasty but remember you have been wronged not the other way round

sparkins Posted on 28/9 21:02
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Mongoose. sorry to hear about your situation, there is a lot of it about. My best mate has just filed for divorce after being married for just 10 months after finding out his wife has been cheating on him for 9 of the 10 months. She is a very intelligent woman, a doctor in fact, but she just lost the plot after 8 years together and he is rightly devastated.

My own situation is that I have found out that my wife is chasing someone else, she has told me she has doubts over her feelings for me, but to this point she hasn't done anything 'wrong'. I have no idea what this will lead to, but it appears to have started when Ilost self confidence due to a lot of cr ap at work, which was impacting our life together. The younger chap at her workplace apprently reminds her of me when we met. I found all this out just before we went on holiday together, we had a huge row and I decided that I didn't want to go with her, but she talked me round and I had the worst 10 days of my life, so my advice would be to ditch the joint holiday idea. What you need is space and the freedom to get your head around stuff. take the legal route and retain your dignity.

The best piece of advice I can offer is be true unto yourself. You don't seem like the type to cut up all her clothes etc, and I promise you if you do, you may feel great for 5 mins, but afterwards you will not be pleased with yourself one little bit. Be the bigger man - follow your heart but listen to your head. I liken the feeling of a breakdown to something similar to the grief one feels when someone dies and like that situation you wil take time to adapt to life without the other person, but you will feel better after time.

As for me, to top what has been a rough couple of months, I was made redundant today. Bummer.

Good Luck and keep faith in yourself.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 28/9 22:04
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Sparkins, I'm not saying your story cheered me up, but you know what I mean - I've got it not as bad as others. Sorry to hear what is going on with you.

I will be seeing a solictor when I get back from holiday. Currently in my own mind I have an idea that I will move out but continue to pay my share of mortgage, meaning I have an investment to fall back on in future years. I obviously need to discuss that idea with a solictor.

As for the holiday. She will probably come on the flight. We need to discuss house, belongings etc. Once that is done, I presume we will be arguing and we will tour USA individually else I will leave her at first hotel.

She doesn't deserve to share the flight with me, but I worry what will happen to my belongings etc. in my house while I'm away for two weeks. Oh and who moves in! Sasboro - apt advice.

susy Posted on 28/9 22:09
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Seems like good advice Sparkins.

Im sorry you life has turned to sh** at the moment. Things often go wrong all at once after years of no problems. Dont worry there will be a silver lining to this cloud. If someone cheats on you then its not your fault, look at it as a life experience you would rather not go through but its not the end of the world. Dont go for revenge if you are a decent person the guilt will soon out weigh any malice you had previously felt. The best revenge of all is to get things sorted with good grace ( be fair but not a push over) and totally keep your dignity. The best thing for you to do is to get on with the rest of your life and enjoy it.

In the future you must not let this ruin future relationships if you go into every relationship expecting her to go off with someone then they probably will. My bf has the attitude that if im going to go off i will and there isnt anything he can do about it so he doesnt worry, he will cross tht bridge when he comes to it. I have no intention of going off with anyone (well maybe Brad Pitt) and we are as soild as a rock. We have both been through tough times before this so i speak with a little life experience behind me.

Best of luck for the future.

sparkins Posted on 28/9 22:13
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

There is always someone worse off than yourself. I met someone recently whose fiance had died on his stag do a couple of years ago. What can you say to someone about something like that? She was such an incredibly positive person that it made me reflect and realise that sh t aint that bad.

I hope you can enjoy your holiday and if you think logically rather than passionately about the situation then you will find the right path, without wanting to sound too w*nky

GillZean Posted on 28/9 22:24
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Sorry to hear all that sparkins.

The bastid Mags won as well

Honestly Goose, take a mate to America. Two weeks will drag like billy-o, and having to pay for 2 hotels ain't worth it. And you'd have a miles better time. Tell her to #### off and live with the other bloke, let her take her stuff before you go, THEn change the locks so she's got no reason to go back in.

That'll save getting a solicitor to argue the toss over your fridge magnets..

swordtrombonefish Posted on 29/9 0:05
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

Dude, I am truly sorry about your plight.

Reading what you have to say, I do not think the elation from any short term vindictive action (such as ruining her career) would make you feel proud in the long term. Use it privately if you must to get the best deal you can as you split and move on.

Some of the advice on here is brilliant, after losing some good mates over a couple of years, I can honestly say I was comforted by some of the words from people on here. I would echo the sentiment of getting a mate and going to the USA for a good time, but not with the ex, because that will be a nightmare.

In the meantime, drink to get drunk, listen to some sad songs, get it out of your system and start living for the future.

Good luck.

--- Post edited by swordtrombonefish on 29/9 0:06 ---

Bessie Posted on 29/9 1:02
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor - cheesy but works for us girls lol

As to rest - go on holiday alone or with mate or with me :)

On no account go with her because if you think you feel bad now you wil feel murderous or suicidal by the time you get back!

House - what can she do? Change locks but she can't afford the mortgage on her own and she can't sell without your signature.
She may have put most of the money in to the property but you have paid majority of mortgage. I'd say a 60-40 cut in her favour. Don't shaft her, don't get bitter. Let her think you are immune to her.

Arctic_Mongoose Posted on 29/9 1:22
re: My fiance dumped me today - songs I need

I will survive.
What a song. but not for me!