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schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:06
I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

... because he was whinging about the lack of space and the position of my arm / elbow! He called me an ignorant northener and then a fat ignorant northern twat!!

I have never lashed out with rage before, but I feel a bit of a twat even though it was a complete knee jerk reaction.


Strange as fuk journey home!! (not proud)

GillZean Posted on 6/3 19:08
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Good lad.

You might get another chance on Saturday. They are bringing 7000 in our end, apparently.

smoggyramone Posted on 6/3 19:08
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Was he a cockney?

roytomo1970 Posted on 6/3 19:09
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

well done to ya.dont let the southern softies get away with it.

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:10
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He was certainly from the south!

It was weird man - rage just took over! He looked so suprised, then he proceeded to follow me despite me telling him to get away from me!

really weird.

TheSmogMonster Posted on 6/3 19:10
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I'm not violent but sounds like he had it coming mate... I'd love to have seen his face

paulo86 Posted on 6/3 19:11
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You should have turned you other cheeks mate

Pauluka Posted on 6/3 19:11
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Quality, did anyone say anything? Didn't the bloke hit the deck?

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:12
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

The more I think of it the weirder it is! I think he did have it coming to him, but behavoir like that is not for me really!!

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:14
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Pauluka - a couple of people stepped in and tried to say "look lads just go home" but it was a bit of a blur really - I now understand the "red mist" phenomena!

GibbosEmpire Posted on 6/3 19:14
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Did you actually punch him?

smoggyramone Posted on 6/3 19:14
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I would've done the same. And cockneys wonder why they northerners dislike them. Even so, if it had been any other regional type I would've banjoed him too.

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:15
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Yep - only a little dab on the chin with the left, but there was "an amount" of reddening around the jaw!

Totally spooked by it all!

GibbosEmpire Posted on 6/3 19:16
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

They do have CCTV in the Tube you know...

janplanner Posted on 6/3 19:17
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

are you roy keane?

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:17
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He was still in the carriage at the time (busy train) so I hope to avoid any further ramifications.

oops.

GillZean Posted on 6/3 19:17
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

When I first saw it, I thought you'd smacked him on youtube.

Shame, really.

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Like I said I am not pround and feel a large amount of regret / remorse.

GibbosEmpire Posted on 6/3 19:21
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Probably a West Ham fan

--- Post edited by GibbosEmpire on 6/3 19:29 ---

Sawadee_cap Posted on 6/3 19:23
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Oooo that's it now. He's gonna wait for you and fuckingleather you 2moro!

AyresomeAvenger Posted on 6/3 19:27
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You've done something in provocation that you recognise as out of character. Theres nothing to reproach yourself about.

schemeuk Posted on 6/3 19:28
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Thanks for the therapy AA.

Just weird.

Off to make my tea now.

BobendBill Posted on 6/3 20:18
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

good on ya

swordtrombonefish Posted on 6/3 20:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Stay away from red meat, have a salad......no sauce or ther will be claret all over the tube tomorrow.

--- Post edited by swordtrombonefish on 6/3 20:21 ---

doddsysdds Posted on 6/3 20:22
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

are you fat like ?

borobuddah Posted on 6/3 20:30
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Look at it this way, he'll think twice before abusing people again, and might never pick on a Northener again!

MrGiraffe Posted on 6/3 21:51
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

was he a sooty?

MontagueLongfellow Posted on 6/3 21:59
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You really dont want to go around clipping blokes tubes

borobuddah Posted on 6/3 22:10
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Fook off longneck

MrGiraffe Posted on 6/3 22:13
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

fook off yourself. I've done nothing to deserve that.

you turd.

borobuddah Posted on 6/3 23:19
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

What is a sooty oh spotty one?

Jase_rw Posted on 7/3 13:42
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You did right mate.
I can't bear gobshytes, esp. when they get away with it.

He was obviously an arrogant (unt who thinks he deserves more space than anyone else on the tube.

He'll think twice about opening it next time. Next time he'll accept he's on a packed tube and act accordingly, just like everyone else has to.

London_Boro Posted on 7/3 13:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Don't feel bad about it, sounds like he deserved a slap. Cheeky tvvat. I'd have done exactly the same thing!

grantus Posted on 7/3 14:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Well, I think you're a coward for attacking him. It is behaviour like yours that stereotypes all northerners as stupid and aggresive.

I hope you're ashamed.

As for the people saying well done, idiots, every one of them.

Stepper_T Posted on 7/3 14:25
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Someone upset you, you lost your temper and punched them.

What a great place it would be if everybody reacted like you.

Idiot.

bandito Posted on 7/3 14:29
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Have you tried anger management?

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 7/3 14:31
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

To be honest, if the bloke called you a tvvatand insulted your heritage with a captive audience on a packed tube carriage he deserved a bat.

<waits for all the 'It takes a braver man to walk away' apologists>

bandito Posted on 7/3 14:33
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think we need to establish the victim here and deicde whether he was a gigantic brick shi thouse or a weedy fella with specs

SocraTees Posted on 7/3 14:34
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think his surname was Kray? Ooops!

norfolkred1 Posted on 7/3 14:36
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Having spent 3 years in Landon Tarn some years ago, I can understand your frustration Schemeuk, some of these muppets on the tube are self, self, self. When Mrs Norfolk was in the family way I made sure she got a seat on the tube and any objection I made sure the rest of tube knew who the asshole was who refused her a seat...

TheSmogMonster Posted on 7/3 14:38
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

So people should be allowed to get away with being rude to people for no real reason?

It might make the bloke think twice next time he decides to abuse a stranger.

If you saw someone abusing someone else in the street do you think thats ok behaviour?

Its not like schemeuk unprovoked turned around and laid into him, its not made him feel big or clever, but I think he in this instance stuck up for himself we all should do that more often.

schemeuk Posted on 7/3 14:41
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He was a similar height to me, but to be honest I cannot remeber much more!

I agree that the beahavoiur was not the best and I am suprised that I reacted the way I did, but it happened.

Anger management may be the key!

What was more surreal was that he got off the tube, and I thought "oh I here we go" but he was just talking at me and standing really close. The he got on a train heading in a completely different direction to where he was going originally!

I think he was as mad as a box of frogs to be honest.

I think he started goading me afterwards to try to get me to ruck on CCTV, which I am glad I did not.

Like I say, totally weird, he wanted bother from the moment he pushed his way into the carriage!

kit_bag Posted on 7/3 14:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

We need more detail

How did he know you were Northern

Were you wearing a Boro Shirt, Or a T-Shirt with "I am Northern" on it.

Or have they started making you wear signs around your neck saying were you are from on the tube.

If the latter is true how come its so hard to find these illegal immigrants,

I can understand the reasoning behind the signs though, it will stop the police mistaking Brazillian electricians as Iraqi Terrorists

--- Post edited by kit_bag on 7/3 14:50 ---

--- Post edited by kit_bag on 7/3 14:51 ---

jimbouk Posted on 7/3 14:49
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Grantus
Who the fk are you to pass judgement????

In the same situation could you honestly say you wouldnt have reacted in this way? Sure as hell i cant say i would have shown a cool and collected head

SouthernSmogette Posted on 7/3 14:53
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Nice to see you flying the flag.

Nice also that you feel so bad about it, you raised the issue here to appease your conscience.

schemeuk Posted on 7/3 14:58
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I raised the issue more in suprise at my actions than anything else!

I am not proud or boastful at all.

It was just weird - I have been down here for a good few years and never has an incident like this taken place.

SouthernSmogette Posted on 7/3 15:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Have you been on the drink?

schemeuk Posted on 7/3 15:01
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

2 bottles of Peroni at lunch time, but otherwise no.

grantus Posted on 7/3 15:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

jimbouk, cool your little jets before you burn yourself. I'm long enough in the tooth and travelled from one side of this planet to the other and seen a lot of straneg stuff, I'm qualified to make judgement on this sort of behaviour.

Don't you worry about it. Just do as you're told, ok sunshine?

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 7/3 15:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Be careful schemeuk. A positive answer to SS's question often leads to her propositioning a bloke.

SouthernSmogette Posted on 7/3 15:11
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He's right you know....watch yourself.

jimbouk Posted on 7/3 16:32
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

High opinion of ones self have we.
And whats this do as your told , ok sunshine business??

PV86 Posted on 7/3 16:38
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Stress. You been down there too long. London makes u like that. Gratuitous violence is not nice. Quit ur job and come home for a walk on the moors to chill out.

Boro_Monkey Posted on 7/3 16:48
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Good job you gave him a clout... His parents obviously never did...

***tip-toes out of the room***

schemeuk Posted on 7/3 16:50
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Strangely enough PV86 I am walking up scafell pike this w/e!

grantus Posted on 7/3 16:53
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

It's a way of communicating with one who is beneath me. Simple as that kiddo.

baldycrowe Posted on 7/3 17:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

twat!!, I don't know what it is about that word but that's the one that would have got me, in my opinion we as in Northerners put up with loads of abuse down here, and give a bit of banter in return, most of them have never been north of Watford and Iím not exaggerating, Iíve lived down here twenty years and have seen it with my own eyes and put up with it too a point.
He crossed the line and respect to you, job well done.
I'm ranting again.

jimbouk Posted on 8/3 7:35
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Grantus
You critacise and pass judgement on a man for reactiing to un provoked abuse.
Then show your own true colours by makeing childish comments towards a person you know nothing about and have never met.

Strange fellow

littlejimmy Posted on 8/3 8:03
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You were provoked and did something you aren't proud of, that's obvious. We all have bad days and we all do things we regret. The fact that it's affected you like this shows you aren't some random psycho.

Some people on here need to wind their necks in, and get down off their bloody high horses. Yeah, I know that's rich, but FFS...

Pauluka Posted on 8/3 8:12
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Im my opinion he deserved a fooking slap, the cheeky twat!

littlejimmy Posted on 8/3 8:21
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Yes, but you're a psycho.

Pauluka Posted on 8/3 8:26
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

And you know me do you?

Didn't think so, now run along before I fooking kill you!

littlejimmy Posted on 8/3 8:36
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...


kermit_the_smog Posted on 8/3 8:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Shoulda whipped a knife out cut him open then cut his arms off and pushed him over

grantus Posted on 8/3 9:59
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Some folk take themselves far too seriously.

Cheer up jimbouk.

and Paul, watch yourself boyo, you are walking a very fine line between bravado and painful regret. With your drinking and gambling problems, it's only a matter of time until you enter the latter.

mufflar Posted on 8/3 10:09
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I had a similar thing on the train in london last week. Some bloke started barging past people in the scrum to get off the train.

When i held my ground and told him to 'wait his hurry' he started elbowing me and chuntering - generally 'clevering' himself.

Once off the train, he kept swearing and scowling at me so I asked him (quite loudly and aggressively, to a point where everyone turned round) what the f.. he was looking at.

Then he ran away...typical southerner - all mouth until someone says summat and then he shitz himself...

(Having said that writing all this down, it does sound a bit pathetic...)

grantus Posted on 8/3 10:12
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You two, to put it simply, can't handle London.

I suggest you both go and buy a nice little thatched cottage in the country, maybe the New Forest, and go and live there. Preferably together.

The big smoke is obviously too much for you both, you're out of your league.

mufflar Posted on 8/3 10:13
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

woudl you have just bummed him grant?

TheSmogMonster Posted on 8/3 10:16
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

What Would Grantus Do?

Something spiritual no doubt..

grantus Posted on 8/3 10:21
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

In fact, make that you three.


Me? I'd have politely, yet sternly, in a condescending yet mild mannered and intellegent way, informed the man that travelling on the underground is stressful for everybody, that everybody is in a hurry to get to their destination and that by pushing, he not only makes the journey more stressful and unbearable for everybody else, but also raises his own stress levels and by doing so increases the chances of ulcers, stroke and the like.


I'd inform him that the way to manage travelling on the underground and living in a great city such as london is through solidarity, not selfishness.

Then I would tell him that he's not to blame, give him a hug, kiss him on the cheek and send him on his way.

Usually when I do this, I recieve the applause of my travellers.


That's just me though.

mufflar Posted on 8/3 10:23
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

the funny thing is, that probably is what you would do! LOL!

mufflar Posted on 8/3 10:23
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

The charver would have removed his belt and hung himslef before he got to work like, but its the thought that counts...

littlejimmy Posted on 8/3 10:26
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

If you did that, granuts, you'd be the one getting twatted. And rightly so.

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 8/3 10:37
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

grantus would have said 'Pud 'em up, pud 'em up', then shat himself, like the Cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz that he resembles.

Cockney_Barra_Boy Posted on 8/3 10:44
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Mufflar you must stabnd out like a sore thumb on the tueb though being 7 ft and all.

You're just a easy target for us southerners to pick on..

On another note, had some oldish bloke (50-60) on the tube this morning who fooking stank of shyte and puke, all suited and booted but what a mess, shouldn;t be allowed on a packed tube, makes the whole journey nauseating

mufflar Posted on 8/3 10:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Jo...erm Cockney, Im actually only 6'2 - its just my huge charisma and significant presence which makes me appear taller...

grantus Posted on 8/3 11:04
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I find that my words usually inspire people.

Vinny, you're such a wonderful little boy.

Cockney_Barra_Boy Posted on 8/3 11:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Well it's been so long mufflar i was only a nipper last time I saw you so you must have looked bigger.

You must be pushing 40 now?

mufflar Posted on 8/3 11:57
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

32 you cheeky Fcker!

has your acne cleared up yet? ;-)

grantus Posted on 8/3 12:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He may be 32, but he looks about 40.

Cockney_Barra_Boy Posted on 8/3 12:22
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Yeah about 10 years ago muff.....thanks for asking...you're skin complaint?

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 12:32
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

"I'm qualified to make judgement on this sort of behaviour"

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

grantus Posted on 8/3 12:36
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Sleaford_Socialite = Lisbonlegend = MosesKiptonui = ChipShopJim = Doyle.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 12:37
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

No it doesn't = Bigger Doyle. I thought you two were buddies?

grantus Posted on 8/3 12:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

The real person is a good lad.

Online, he carries on like a doyle.

MarlonD Posted on 8/3 12:47
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

sleaford, grantus is right. He isn't half as much a co_ck in real life.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 12:54
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Sadly I've known him since he was about 11, I think he's a good lad. I did think when I ran in to him on here a few years ago he might have been gay, the Sydney and Brighton dwelling were a give away, but a string of imaginary girlfriends has proved to me that this is incorrect.



--- Post edited by Sleaford_Socialite on 8/3 12:57 ---

mufflar Posted on 8/3 12:54
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

grantus - you know if you and i were stood next to each other, people would think you were a lot older...

Im like the Cliff Richard of FMTTM...

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 12:58
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think his post are mostly interesting, when he's not talking boIIocks about Bruce Willis.

mufflar Posted on 8/3 13:01
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I bet he is sat at his PC well chuffed at the comments, head slightly tilted to one side, wearing the look of a likeable simpleton...

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 13:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

As long as he's smiling, I recall him as a happy go lucky fellow with a twinkle in his eye.

MarlonD Posted on 8/3 13:03
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I bet he is actually eating some form of pastry product.

zoec Posted on 8/3 13:08
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Does grantus really think that Sleaford is Lisbon?

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 13:29
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I agree Marlon, and showing his long-suffering colleagues his 'tattoo'.

Yes Zoec he did, he accused me of the scandalous crime yesterday, and then again today, made me feel dirty and used.

zoec Posted on 8/3 13:35
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Oh, you poor thing. You need therapy.

grantus Posted on 8/3 13:40
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

If you are innocent I apologise, but in this case, it's guilty until proven innocent. You are Lisbon, until you provide convincing evidence to the contrary.

Mufflar, they would certainly consider me the senior, the one to be taken seriously, the one with gravitas, yet strangely enough, also the one with a cheeky boyish charm and a mischievious, youthful twinkle in his eye that made them feel safe that I wouldn't be an idiot and fly off the handle, throwing punches and shouting abuse at people.

they would also realise that I had you under control.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 13:45
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

What would you accept as proof?

grantus Posted on 8/3 13:50
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

It's a toughy really, isn't it? How do you prove that you are no you, but actually someone else?

Anyone got any ideas?

I suppose you could come to London and introduce yourself, but then, as Lisbon, all you have to do is pay someone to say they are whoever you ask them to be.

It's a toughy all right.

zoec Posted on 8/3 13:53
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Sleaford used to be Lincoln_Exile, if that helps, grantus. Then again, how would you know that Lincoln_Exile wasn't Lisbon. You need to compile a cunning list of questions, I think.

Lockey_boro Posted on 8/3 13:55
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

100.

grantus Posted on 8/3 13:55
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I can't believe zoec gave you her login details Lisbon.

You should be sectioned. You're everywhere.

Aaaargh, I can see you over the office walking towards me!

Oh my got it's like being in Being John Lisbon Malkovich!!


Help

zoec Posted on 8/3 13:57
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You need a holiday, grantus.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 13:58
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Do you believe me yet?

grantus Posted on 8/3 14:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

How can I?

Lincoln_ Exile seemed a reasonable chap with no reason to change username.

zoec Posted on 8/3 14:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Maybe he should have changed it to Ex_Lincoln_Exile_Now_in_Sleaford_Socialite.

Actually, that sounds a bit sleazy.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:11
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I moved and was under pressure from current Lincoln residents to change name.

No it isn't, bugger.

--- Post edited by Sleaford_Socialite on 8/3 14:13 ---

Link: This is me, a couple of years ago.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:15
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

mmmmmmmmm

Link: try that

zoec Posted on 8/3 14:37
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Well, the chap by the Christmas tree isn't LL. Not sure about the one with the antlers, though.

mufflar Posted on 8/3 14:38
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

they could be the same person - they both look quite gormless...

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:40
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

me and the dog, or me and Lisbon?

mufflar Posted on 8/3 14:41
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I thought the dog looked quite alert ;-)

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:42
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think she looks scared and festive, in equal measure.

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 14:43
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Funny how people aren't what you think they would look like. Or something. If that is you. I'm confused.

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 8/3 14:43
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

grantus needs a holiday? You are kidding, aren't you?
Up until recently he spent six months on the dole!

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:45
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

It is me mate, I'm a bit chubbier now like, the dog is as well. She's been spayed though, I haven't.

What did you think I'd look like?

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 14:47
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

In all honesty,

Link: like this

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 14:49
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I wish, err and why?

I know Billingham people have exciting dress sense, but I don't think I could carry that off.

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 14:50
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

In truth, I am very poor at judging what people look like before I see them.

You get your head kicked in dressed like that in Billingham.

zoec Posted on 8/3 14:56
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Funny fridge should post a picture of Willie Wonka. I had you down as a Johnny Depp lookalike. Probably because Lisbon referred to you as "floppy haired".

grantus Posted on 8/3 15:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Vinny, being out of work was one of the most stressful experiences you can imagine. You'd have to leave your mother's house first though.

It was 2 and a bit months anyway.

zoec's right I need and deserve a holiday.

Sleaford is Lisbon and this charade has gone on long enough.

Time to unmask the phantom flan flinger.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think Mrs Sleaford would be very pleased with that Zoe. I did have long hair at school. I've had a maximum of a No.4 all over for 11 years now, normally a lot shorter.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I did attend school with Lisbon and he hasn't changed at all, he still has the same haircut, which is nice in a way, but shows he can't let go of his Campus glory days(and probably never will).

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 8/3 15:06
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Only stressful because you are a pretentious tosspot who thinks living in London makes you more cosmopolitan and interesting than you really are. You were desperate not to have to return to your home town of Deliverance.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:12
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Where are you from Grantus?

zoec Posted on 8/3 15:13
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

"Time to unmask the phantom flan flinger."

There's no way on earth LL would fling a flan. What were you thinking?

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:16
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

LL would be the Phantom Flan Felcher

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 15:16
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Grantus is from Hetton-le-Hole. And it is a hole.


Anyway, I have corroborating third party evidence that lisbon and SS are two different people. His wife knows my sister in law. There's no way anyone would waltz down the aisle with lisbon.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:17
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Where is he anyway, I thought he'd of chipped in by now?

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:18
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I forgot about that, thank you Fridgey.

Is that good enough Grantus?

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:20
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Hetton-le-Hole is a town and civil parish in the City of Sunderland, Tyne and Wear in north east England. It is on the A182 between Houghton-le-Spring and Easington. It is located on the SW corner of Sunderland on the A182, off A690 close to the A1(M).

Like many County Durham towns, Hetton has strong football connections. Burnley player and manager Harry Potts and Bob Paisley, the legendary Liverpool manager were from the town, as was Ralph Coates the former Burnley and Tottenham Hotspur player.A strong rumour among the people of Hetton is that Steve Cramm was born in Hetton.The Chuckle Brothers were also rumoured to have been born in Hetton before moving to Rotherham.

The decommissioned St Nicholas' Church on Front Street was destroyed by arson in November 2006 [1]. It has previously been listed due to its architectural significance. The destruction of the church was a prime example of the kind of vandalism that occurs in the area.



--- Post edited by Sleaford_Socialite on 8/3 15:23 ---

zoec Posted on 8/3 15:24
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

You know, I think I must have spent my informative years on a desert island. What's a felcher?

schemeuk Posted on 8/3 15:26
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

you do not want to know!

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:30
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

erm, have a look on wiki, not sure if you should at work.

It involves a straw, orrifices and fluids/lumpy solids.

sorry.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:33
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I feel bad for introducing you to this practice.

Link: I can only apologise

zoec Posted on 8/3 15:34
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I've led a sheltered life. Thank God.

Vinny_Garstroke Posted on 8/3 15:34
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

grantus will be an expert on that. he's done all there is to do.
sleaford, with you being in the forces, I bet you are an accomplished snowballer.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:36
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Vinny, you've spelt snowboarder wrong.

zoec Posted on 8/3 15:36
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

OK - go on then...(I'll regret asking this)...what's a snowballer?

schemeuk Posted on 8/3 15:40
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

too wrong for words!

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:42
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

After the felching, in polite company it is a common practice to offer the fluids, held orally, to a willing partner, or so I've heard.

--- Post edited by Sleaford_Socialite on 8/3 15:43 ---

zoec Posted on 8/3 15:46
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Who thinks up these things? There's no end to the knowledge you can gain from this board that you will never, never, ever put into practice...

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:48
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I normally say, "never say never", but in this case I can make an exception.

We'll leave cottaging and tea-bagging for another lesson.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 15:50
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

and docking

grantus Posted on 8/3 15:54
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I'm from Stokesley.

Sleaford - I believe you, many apologies, hehe.


Vinny, you're like a little chiwawa when you start with your schoolyard name calling.

Pretentious? Hehee, oh the irony.

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 15:57
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Even I don't know what Docking is, and I'm considered a sexual deviant in these parts.

grantus Posted on 8/3 16:00
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Is it when your lass gets on all fours and you come from behind, riding, and park your bike in the 'dock'?

zoec Posted on 8/3 16:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Don't encourage him, fridge. He seems to know too much already

By the way, do you look like Nigel Havers? Just thinking about what board members look like.

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 16:02
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

He can also masturb ate their pen ises with the foreskin of one peni s over the glans of the other in a position called docking.

I'm quite glad I didn't know this.

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 16:03
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

If you kept a log of information about posters then you'd be able to find a pic of me quite easily. But I presume you don't.

Or I could link to one. But not the one the local paper uses that looks as if I am wearing a David Byrne suit.

Nigel Havers? Probably not. Although he has the shades of Richard Madeley about him.

--- Post edited by the_broken_fridge on 8/3 16:04 ---

zoec Posted on 8/3 16:08
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

No, I don't keep a logbook, sorry. Go on, let's have a link...

I'm presuming you're not from Cherry Hinton?

--- Post edited by zoec on 8/3 16:13 ---

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 16:44
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

What's a Cherry Hinton?

zoec Posted on 8/3 16:47
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

It's where that eerie looking undertaker (could have been caretaker) came from who was responsible for the letter bombs.

schemeuk Posted on 8/3 16:47
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I think it is where that letter bomber was from? Near Cambridge?

He was a strange looking individual!

the_broken_fridge Posted on 8/3 16:47
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

caretaker.

Only I christened him the Bong Eye Bomber, more's the pity.

Sleaford_Socialite Posted on 8/3 16:50
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

Ah, was that you Fridgey?

grantus Posted on 8/3 17:05
re: I just clipped a bloke on the tube...

I personally look like a cross between Oliver Read, Wurzel Gummage, Mani off the Stone Roses, a shark, Martin off Coronation Street and Keith from Eastenders, the Lion King and the cowardly Lion. Well, I've been compared to them all at one time or another.