permalink for this thread : http://search.catflaporama.com/post/browse/527554184
PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 11:37
Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Hi, as part of the continued development of the new boards, Steve and Rob have drafted me in to answer any of your questions and concerns on any subject.

So:

Are you in love and don't know what do do?
Do you need fashion advice or tips?
Do you need information or product advice on maintaining your locks?
Are you thinking of coming out the closet?
Are you cheating or betraying loved ones and family members?
Are you fiddling on with the wifes best friend or best friends wife?

All posts are handled confidentially so ask away:

PP x

susy Posted on 1/12 11:38
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Pink Ponce,

I am frustrated in the bedroom dept, what do you suggest?

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 11:46
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Susy,

The Pink Ponce has came across many girls in your predicament. If you have a long term partner, and the spark has gone out may i suggest you start "courting" again.

This evening treat yourselves to a nice meal and some drinks. Explore the inner feelings that you have both maybe lost touch with. Imagine it is your first date and build up the sexual chemistry between you.

Once home indulge in massage and other stimulating activities, paying particular attention to your erogenous zones. Take things slowly, and work up towards full penetrational intercourse which will open the door to multiple orgasm heaven.

Should you be single, I am free until 6pm this evening.

Good luck and thank you for writing,

PP x

radiogaga Posted on 1/12 11:47
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

'I am free until 6pm this evening.'


Is that the best you can do?

I'm available until 9:30.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 11:49
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Radiogaga,

The Pink Ponce will bring more sexual satisfaction to Susy in the next 6 hours, that you could possibly think about in your 9 hours 30 minutes.

Regards,

PP

susy Posted on 1/12 11:53
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

I don't think you got what I meant! Im standing in the bedroom dept in a shop and have found really nice bedding but they dont have it in the size I need for my bed!

radiogaga Posted on 1/12 11:54
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

In that case suzy, the Pink Ponce is indeed your man!

SteveGoldby Posted on 1/12 11:56
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Pink Ponce,

Is Rich_NUFC really an uphill gardener?

Thanks for your time.

Steve

penaltybox Posted on 1/12 11:57
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Oy. Ponce... I work in Saudi Arabia but hate every minute of it, should i return after Xmas and NewYear to continue earning my 500 pounds a day.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 11:57
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Susy,

Thank you for your response. The Pink Ponce recommends that you possibly shop around. I expect the sales to start in the next week or so, so you may be able to save money.

If you are desperate for your new bedding tody, then try Next Home Section, as they have some delightful bedding, although slightly more expensive than some competitors.

Good Luck and thanks again,

PP x

PS: Can you please let me know which high street store has WIFI internet facilities as that could save me an awful lot of time when responding to letters from others in similar situations.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 12:01
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Steve,

The Pink Ponce is merely here to offer advice and guidance on personal problems and not to make judgement on any member of the board.

However, seeing as though its you, and you are doing a sterling job with the board I will make exception.

I think the fact that the person in question has "NUFC" in his name is a blatant giveaway - But i will base my opinion on his Post last week in which he came out.

In a word - Yes. Of the highest order.

Regards,

PP

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 12:04
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Penalty Box,

I can appreciate the situation you find yourself in may be difficult at this time.

If you can come home and easily find work earning similar money then why not! I myself work away from home, but commute on a weekly basis. This is a decision you really need to think about thoroughly. A similar scenario to mine my suit you to the ground. You get all the home comforts, without the salary sacrifices.

I hope you make the right decision.

Regards,


PP

wokingmassive Posted on 1/12 12:06
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Pink Ponce,

I often fantasise about my wife whilst making love to other women - is this normal?

susy Posted on 1/12 12:10
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear pink ponce,

Thank you for your advice that I will heed.

As far as WIFI is concerned you need to get a plug in from a mobile company for your laptop. You have broadband where ever you travel.

Some more advice please, due to my work I have to keep my nails short and cant paint them with polish or anything, not even clear stuff. I am constantly having to wash and scrub my hands several times a day before putting on latex gloves for hours at a time. My nails are not very strong or nice, what is your advice please?

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 12:12
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Wokingmassive,

Yours is a rather strange problem. My first impression is that you are thinking of your wife whilst engaging in intercourse with other women, merely as a way to distract from the burning guilt you would be feeling at that time.

Alternatively, your wife could be - physically - Far superior to the other girls you are having sex with.

As a solution, may i suggest that you concentrate on the obvious problems in your relationship and then think of other women whilst making love to your partner - It has always worked for me.

Finally, if you continue to have unprotected sex with numerous partners, you are putting your sexual heath at risk. My free leaflet on STD's should help.

Good Luck,

PP

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 12:21
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Susy,

This is a common problem with people in your line of work. Firstly you need to ensure that your diet consists of all of the right nutrients.

Calcium (found in milk and cheese Susy) is essential, whilst protein and vitamin B is also vital in maintaining healthy nails.

On a daily basis you need to moisterise your nails with a suitable nail cream (available from most Boots stores) paying particular attention to the cuticles.

Using a nail file, gently rub away any hard areas before application of the cream.

If you follow these steps then you should see results within the week Susy.

Let me know how it goes!

Regards,

PP x

wokingmassive Posted on 1/12 12:27
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear pink ponce,

Quite often I dont know what day of the week it is, which way up is, and I sometimes get my left and right confused and also get my head and my ar$e mixed up. Can you help?

Yours,

Dong-Gook Lee.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 12:35
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Dong Gook Lee,

*PINK PONCE'S LETTER OF THE WEEK*

That you for your letter. May I say that I've had numerous letters indicating that you had these problems from various members of the public.

For a start, We play in Red and to help you out, we generally play on a saturday. If you would decide to put the ball in the net on the odd occasion, this may change to sundays - but that all depends on us qualifying for europe. Something which isn't going to happen whilst you are in the team.

In order to help you with your problems, may i suggest that you forget about football for a while.

As our letter of the week this week, i have something that may help you incredibly, Yes, Mr Lee, you have won 2 One Way tickets back to Korea.

Trusting you will enjoy,

Regards

PP

--- Post edited by PinkPonce on 1/12 13:00 ---

rigblast Posted on 1/12 13:08
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

poncey , i go on a message board and people think i am different
characters , how can i make them realise i am only rigblast ?
also some geezer gives me grief , i think he is a knobjockey but he claims to be a stud . me i was the best shag on our estate but now the wife says i am only the best in our street, help please
riggy not wiggy or piggy or a n other

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 13:20
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Rigblast,

I would like to deal with each of your queries individually.

I can understand why these people think you spend your days talking to yourself on a messageboard. You have many numerous usernames which are all very similar. Riggy, Piggy etc. I can understand that working off shore can be very lonely at times, and also slightly disturbing being in an all male environment for so long. Why not use only one username to interact with the females of the board (kazzaxxx, susy, molteaser etc)

Secondly, and in response to your statement that you think i am a knobjocky. I can only say that each is entitled to their own opinion. Whether one is sexually orientated differently to others is not for questioning. I will however, say that i have never once engaged in "man love" but have often wiped my man juice on your bedroom curtains after spending the evening with your lass whilst you are offshore with your soap on a rope.

That brings me quite conveniently to the fact that your partner has now re-labelled you as the best only on your street and not the estate.

Unfortunately that is what happens when you move within striking distance of the Pink Ponce.

All the best,

PP

morgenstern Posted on 1/12 13:24
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

don't you have anything better to do?? i'm amazed.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 13:29
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Morgensten,

What would you be doing in my position on a saturday morning. I have had a very productive day so far. I have been to renew my Tax, I have been for petrol, been shopping, cooked food, cleaned my humble abode and am now catching up on my sky plussed programmes from this week (i.e The Mighty Boosh).

Did you have a question for me, or is it embarrassing? Its ok, come on in and talk.

Regards,

PP

morgenstern Posted on 1/12 13:36
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

oh well, fair enough, i suppose. r n r. no questions from me, i have all the answers, thank.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 13:38
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Morgenstern,

Thank you.

PP

rigblast Posted on 1/12 14:38
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

"You have many numerous usernames which are all very similar. Riggy, Piggy etc." poncey explain please

how are rigblast, piglauncher similar ? whighams wig is another , north sea kitten . how are these names similar .

even had jorourke , sirlofty, down as me .

whighams_wig Posted on 1/12 14:42
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

and pearcys tash y priick

rigblast Posted on 1/12 14:43
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

cheers wiggy forgot that one


" a bit strange me talking to myself "
life goes on , i'm not harming anybody .

whighams_wig Posted on 1/12 14:44
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

hows y oim Mr B.F,who was a stockton lad

as u know i dont name names

rigblast Posted on 1/12 14:45
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

who is is bf ? haven't a clue how you are talking about sorry wiggy

whighams_wig Posted on 1/12 14:48
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

theres only one platform that you can only see one flare in the distance at night as you claim and BF is the oim on there.

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 16:37
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Rigblast and Whighams Wig,

Stop arguing with each other and use the frustration to get southgate out!

Thank you,

PP

rigblast Posted on 1/12 16:38
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

wiggy then name the platform ?

whighams_wig Posted on 1/12 16:44
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

beatrice,
now shut up whilst im concentrating on footy

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 16:46
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

HAHA whigham...

Run along now Riggy....Beatrice - thats not another username is it!

--- Post edited by PinkPonce on 1/12 16:46 ---

rigblast Posted on 1/12 16:46
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

beatrice eh ? wrong i thought you would say captain ?
both wrong

rigblast Posted on 1/12 16:47
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

poncey "beatrice " its a platform in the n sea u dumbfook

PinkPonce Posted on 1/12 16:54
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Its called Sarcasm kid.

Rigblast - why wont you tell these people where you work when you spend all day telling us you work off shore...

Is it because they'll know someone who knows that you are just a cleaner.

whighams_wig Posted on 1/12 17:00
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

I must deduce you are lying, like all the others i do not believe you.
I been out here since 1981 and know it well also every platform has the N.S layouts so you are LYING.

Thats all i have to say as this is footy saturday and i will leave the board to the honest folk of teesside.

rigblast Posted on 1/12 17:04
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

wiggy can see one flare on a clear night ish north of here

rigblast Posted on 1/12 17:22
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

still no answer

Boro_2006 Posted on 1/12 17:49
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Pink Ponce,


What came first me ofr the chicken or the egg?



























By the way Im nursing a semi at the moment

wokingmassive Posted on 1/12 20:18
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Pink Ponce,

I am a compulsive gambler, and my wife has recently left me.

How do I win her back?

Halle_Burton Posted on 1/12 20:20
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

keep out the bookies and off stupid message boards and get her sorted out on regular occasions.

pieceapiss

PinkPonce Posted on 2/12 12:18
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Broro2006,

As the pink ponce is only here to advise on your personal problems i would ask you to stick with real life dilemmas you may find yourself in

If you really want my opinion on the chicken and egg scenario, i would say that the chicken came first. My theory is that the chicken evolved from a bird like mammal (ie the duck billed platipus or another) and eventually laid eggs instead of live offspring.

Hope this helps.

PinkPonce Posted on 2/12 12:24
re: Dear Pink Ponce: YOUR questions answered

Dear Wokingmassive.

I am obviously sorry to hear of the situation you find herself in.

Firstly i would go and seek some councilling to source the obvious problems you have which makes you gamble and sleep around.

Once this is done and your ex wife can see the progres you have made, then she may have second thought on your relationship.

Failing this, there are 2 things you can do. Speak to your wife, and ask her to pick a winner from each of the days race meeting at epson or newmarket. She will obviously go for the prettiest colours on the jockey (WHO WOULDN'T!!!). DO NOT put this bet on, as it will never win...but return from work with 4.36 and tell her she won. This will mean that she doesn't have as bad an opinion on betting as she may have done at first.


Failing that, I can see your obvious desire to get back together. Go into a bookies and put big money on her NOT coming back to you... You are then in a win-win siuation. Either you get your wife back, or you win some cash.

My free leaflet on addictions should help.

Good luck,

PP