permalink for this thread :
borobadman Posted on 08/07/2008 16:54
oi liddle towers

do you know harry the barstard and mad trevor harris?

harry siad he knocked you on your arse in 1995 on meldyke lane

after you started mouthing and trevor has been going round saying

he boned your daughter eh 1 with blonde hair and blue eyes in

back of his jeep.

harrys steaming coz youve bin saying your top brass but he

thinks hed triple slap you upside the head agin anymore of your


Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 16:55
oi liddle towers

Ooooh thats gonna tear it [:O]

NedKat Posted on 08/07/2008 16:57
oi liddle towers

He sounds like a Bad Man !!

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 16:57
oi liddle towers

Mmmmm Neddy

Im off for cover

Kevin_Bacon_Butties Posted on 08/07/2008 16:58
oi liddle towers

He sounds like he's just walked straight from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 08/07/2008 16:59
oi liddle towers

...settles back in chair awaiting entertainment...could be a classic night, and for once I'm here.

Provisions check:

Beer - yep
Popcorn - yep
Bucket - yep
Phone - yep

I'm set.

MsCurly Posted on 08/07/2008 17:00
oi liddle towers

'harry the barstard'.

Brilliant. [:D]

Dr_Evil Posted on 08/07/2008 17:00
oi liddle towers


Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 17:01
oi liddle towers

There may be trouble ahead [:)]

rubber_soles Posted on 08/07/2008 17:01
oi liddle towers

[:D] harry the B******


Dr_Evil Posted on 08/07/2008 17:03
oi liddle towers

Is this a thread for the over 30's then?

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 17:05
oi liddle towers

PG at the mo but I think it may progress.....

Checks FMTTM thread classification list

japsterboro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:07
oi liddle towers

De de de de der, I'm lovin it! [:D]

QuahogBoro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:10
oi liddle towers

Great stuff, a plastic C****ney cyber-scrap

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 17:10
oi liddle towers

Lets get reeeeeaaaadddyyyyy to ruuuuuuuumble [:D]

Dr_Evil Posted on 08/07/2008 17:13
oi liddle towers

Aren't you lot getting a little bit excited over something which is probably a wind up?

japsterboro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:16
oi liddle towers

Dr_Evil - Yep! [:D]

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 08/07/2008 17:16
oi liddle towers

This one has real the way do you have webbed toes and your father's penchant for buggery?

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 17:17
oi liddle towers

Its like a board Eastenders [:)]

QuahogBoro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:17
oi liddle towers

Evil you're probably right, Liddle's at fighting weight so in reality badman wouldn't dare

Dr_Evil Posted on 08/07/2008 17:18
oi liddle towers

My father would make up stories such as he invented the question mark.

slipshod Posted on 08/07/2008 17:18
oi liddle towers

I'll be the first to say it " claret everywhere" when this goes off.

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 17:19
oi liddle towers

snot and jellied eels all over [:D]

borobadman Posted on 08/07/2008 17:24
oi liddle towers

about 5 year ago in teh local boozer harry bought a pint and

went and sat opposite liddle and said if your not gone by time

ive finished drinking this ill put yer teeth done yer neck

liddle left before harry even had one sip.

you dont mess with harry hes madder than mad trev and dont take

any cheek off of no marks.

he eats frozen sausages when hes bin out on lash.

mailinator Posted on 08/07/2008 17:25
oi liddle towers

I'd have stabbed him in the face if he'd dare

talk to me

like that

mailinator Posted on 08/07/2008 17:25
oi liddle towers

I'd have stabbed him in the face if he'd dare

talk to me

like that

slipshod Posted on 08/07/2008 17:25
oi liddle towers

he eats frozen sausages when hes bin out on lash [:D]

mailinator Posted on 08/07/2008 17:26
oi liddle towers

I'd probably do it twice.

Dr_Evil Posted on 08/07/2008 17:27
oi liddle towers

This thread is amusing.

japsterboro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:34
oi liddle towers

Bet he has the squits

the next day after

eating frozen pig


benidorm2boro Posted on 08/07/2008 17:36
oi liddle towers

very amusing,to have S***e like that said about a fellow posters daughter.

NedKat Posted on 08/07/2008 17:39
oi liddle towers

Harry's madder than Mad Trev ?

Nah !!!

Mad Trev's much more madder than Harry the Basterd ... !!

FACT !!!

MFC1967 Posted on 08/07/2008 18:17
oi liddle towers

Lids will be fumin now..... he's gonna get ur ip address and hunt ya down [;)]

gravyboat Posted on 08/07/2008 18:25
oi liddle towers

Harry the Barstard. That's genius. [:D]

I really hope this isn't a wind-up, and is indeed confirmation of the little known fact that all plastic gangsters are genetically unable to construct a sentence.

boro_boy1984 Posted on 08/07/2008 18:29
oi liddle towers




the_elf_unit Posted on 08/07/2008 18:41
oi liddle towers

I think someone has been watching to much Rick Mayle [sp] and Aide Edmonson


Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 19:22
oi liddle towers

Quick put this wooden leg on Sad Ken to win [:D]

Cecil_J_Mctumshie Posted on 08/07/2008 19:30
oi liddle towers

old liddle will be sitting at his keyboards desperate to post a witty comeback but he doesn't have the brain to think of a decent reply so there will be no liddle input on this thread

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 19:31
oi liddle towers

We have all given him plenty to go on.....

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 08/07/2008 19:35
oi liddle towers

he will have his home narrowed down to 2 streets with in the hour

the only harry the b'stard i ever came across was 1st squadron submarines cox'n! sure Ned will remember him

1st day i met him he shouted at me for the way i was stood, then asked "doy you know who i am" and followed up with "you will get to know me you scrote"

he really was a b'stard

borolad259 Posted on 08/07/2008 20:29
oi liddle towers

Brilliant, this is FMTTM as written by Guy Ritchie (before the posh talented producer got his hands on the script).
The best thing is, some of the real life underworld types in London do have names like that. My favourite is Jonny Jigsaw. He only has to sit next to you in a bar, and you do whatever he wants you to do.

Hercules Posted on 08/07/2008 20:51
oi liddle towers

I've unmasked Dr_Evil. He is the janitor off scrubs.

what_u_talkin_about_willis Posted on 08/07/2008 20:56
oi liddle towers

liddle will be busy rounding up his mates from the priory club

borobadman Posted on 08/07/2008 22:25
oi liddle towers

he doesn't have friends he has people hang around coz he pays

them to.

just ask cal marshall when liddles missus was was trying it on

with him and he did nowt even when things got hot his crew

disappeared coz harry the barstard swings his knackers and they

all run in there holes like rabbits when farmer giles comes a


your cards are marked liddle.

toothy francis wants a werd in your earhole to.

apparently youve drinking on his turf and making the ladies feel

uncomfortable with your wandering hands and i dont mean origami.

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 08/07/2008 22:35
oi liddle towers

Toothy Francis...this gets better.

Billy Big Potatoes must get a mention soon.

PinkPonce Posted on 08/07/2008 23:28
oi liddle towers



Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 23:29
oi liddle towers

"disappeared coz harry the barstard swings his knackers"


Teebagging thread [:)]

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 08/07/2008 23:39
oi liddle towers

Needs a hoof in the morning people.....

kazza Posted on 08/07/2008 23:42
oi liddle towers

for some reason i don't think this will drop off the board

br14 Posted on 09/07/2008 00:08
oi liddle towers


Maybe I'll understand when I grow up.

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 09/07/2008 07:24
oi liddle towers

Good Morning Hoof [:D]

zzzzz Posted on 09/07/2008 08:03
oi liddle towers


Is that the same harry the barstard that flushed Billy Jumpleads down the bog?

Bernie_was_right Posted on 09/07/2008 08:06
oi liddle towers

Toothy Francis.......FFS

Come on then Liddle - Where are you??? Lets be having you!!!

The_same_as_before Posted on 09/07/2008 09:23
oi liddle towers

Your here I know you are.

Trotters_Independent_Traders Posted on 09/07/2008 09:27
oi liddle towers

finding liddle on this thread is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, one prick and you know you've got it[;)]

borobadman Posted on 09/07/2008 10:14
oi liddle towers

werd on teh street is hes holed up now he knows harrys after him.

probably cacking himself just like he did when teh wally cooke

bloke were going to blast his block off.

harrys a man that demands respect.

he walks down the street you dont cross to the other side you

break someones window and hide in their house.

liddle better get an apology printed in the gazette if he wants

to live long enough to see his kid marry mad trev.

this is knuckle to knuckle stuff between men and mice and

liddles the one that likes the cheese if you know what i mean.

Get_your_rat_out Posted on 09/07/2008 10:18
oi liddle towers

[:D] i fooking love this thread

hewielewie Posted on 09/07/2008 10:35
oi liddle towers

He can still be holed up and post on here can't he? Or have I missed some gangster related rules about going into hiding?

PinkPonce Posted on 09/07/2008 11:30
oi liddle towers

Surely Lord Peat and Pim the Fox are gonna get involved in this.

Ratty [:D] Great isnt it

hewielewie Posted on 09/07/2008 11:48
oi liddle towers

Harry the Barstard
Mad Trevor
Toothy Francis

I can imagine borobadman walking into a club owned by him and his mates and all the "gangsta" types greeting him al la Goodfellas.

There was:

Freddie No Nose
Jimmy The Phone
Tommy Twice Fingers
Top Shelf Bertie
Nicky Nocky Nido

Libbins Posted on 09/07/2008 11:50
oi liddle towers


FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 12:02
oi liddle towers


It's Kenny the phone, not Jimmy the Phone. Kenny would be very upset.

Link: Kenny The Phone Lives Here

MarlonD Posted on 09/07/2008 12:03
oi liddle towers

Don't forget Tommy Dick Fingers

hewielewie Posted on 09/07/2008 12:04
oi liddle towers

Was it Jimmy The Staple then?

FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 12:06
oi liddle towers

Sounds more like it.

hewielewie Posted on 09/07/2008 12:10
oi liddle towers

i am just randomly choosing items on my desk

Bobby The Tippex
Harry The Desktop Fan
Nicky The Highlighter
Reggie The Thing That You Use To Get Staples Out Of Walls, You Know The Thing That Looks Like A Pair Of Sharp Teeth

FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 12:11
oi liddle towers

Stan the Flat Bed Scanner

hewielewie Posted on 09/07/2008 12:12
oi liddle towers

Ronnie Post it Note

MarlonD Posted on 09/07/2008 12:12
oi liddle towers

Henry the Hoover

FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 12:48
oi liddle towers

Worrabout Jimmy The Hoover?

Link: Tantalise me, the way only you can do

Get_your_rat_out Posted on 09/07/2008 12:48
oi liddle towers

where is liddle

the mug

FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 12:50
oi liddle towers

Jimmy The Hoover. For all you youngsters.

Link: Remix

borobadman Posted on 09/07/2008 13:12
oi liddle towers

i know for a fact that just before christmas he was was in teh

local coping a eyeful of the baps of some bit of flange from

hemmo called sheila and it kicked off warrior style after bodger

and petey crisp n dry squared up to him and made him apologise

for the insult.

liddle touched cloth went home and didnt leave his house for 8


i remember about 2 year ago he got caught pulling his pudding

round back of his house by the postie who was delivering mail

and couldnt fit parcel through the letter box.

zzzzz Posted on 09/07/2008 13:13
oi liddle towers

[:D] [:D] [:D]

Bernie_was_right Posted on 09/07/2008 13:15
oi liddle towers

PMSL !!!!!!!

Where are you Liddle?????

Derek The Sellotape is after you!

Pauluka Posted on 09/07/2008 13:16
oi liddle towers

The first thread that reached a ton without the person it was aimed for replying?

Pure brilliance

NedKat Posted on 09/07/2008 13:17
oi liddle towers

Petey Crisp and Dry ... ?

FartingGnome Posted on 09/07/2008 13:22
oi liddle towers

It's a long, long time since I enjoyed a thread as much as this one.

Reminds me of the Piranha Brothers.

Dinsdale was deeply afraid of Spiny Norman, an imaginary hedgehog who, he believed, lived in a hangar at Luton Airport and who "was wont to be about twelve feet from "snout to tail", but when Dinsdale was depressed Norman could be anything up to eight hundred yards long."

Doug was the more feared of the two brothers. Luigi Vercotti, a pimp, claims to have seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than speak to Doug indeed, even Dinsdale feared Doug. This was largely due to his merciless use of sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, pathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire. Many of those menaced by the Piranha Brothers denied any ill will toward them, terrified into compliance with a code of silence.

The Piranhas operated their extortion racket for years, brazenly and without fear of reprisal. However, Dinsdale's fear of Spiny Norman proved to be their undoing, as he decided to solve the problem once and for all by detonating his nuclear device at Luton Airport in February 1966. After this, the Police sat up and took notice of them.

Vespa-Scooter Posted on 09/07/2008 13:23
oi liddle towers

HAHAHAHA,,keep this thread going,creased laughing.Need more tales about,
`Arry the Stitch,
Porkpie Pete,
Arfur Legg.

borobadman Posted on 09/07/2008 13:25
oi liddle towers

hey liddle.

did that gadge from chaplegarth ever find out it were you that

creamed his cat?

last i heard a 2 grand hit was out on the culprit coz that cat

was his mams and she bought it from knocker tops emma.

id make like a banana and leave if i were you before you get

found out.

harry the barstard will just habve even more excuse to give you

a bit of judo chopping.

Pauluka Posted on 09/07/2008 13:27
oi liddle towers

knocker tops emma [:D]

NedKat Posted on 09/07/2008 13:28
oi liddle towers

Postman Pat catches Liddle Towers bashing his bishop .... ?

Rodney_Trotter Posted on 09/07/2008 13:29
oi liddle towers

"id make like a banana and leave if i were you " [:D]

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 09/07/2008 14:54
oi liddle towers

I cant bear to let this drop off the board....

All hail Harry the b*stard [:D]

PinkPonce Posted on 09/07/2008 15:09
oi liddle towers


jumpers4goalposts Posted on 09/07/2008 15:17
oi liddle towers

apparently his nephew stabby joe is in town too :|

japsterboro Posted on 09/07/2008 15:31
oi liddle towers

Urrgghh ...

japsterboro Posted on 09/07/2008 15:31
oi liddle towers

This thread just gets better!

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 09/07/2008 16:45
oi liddle towers

A quick lift up the board for all fans of Sammy stretched scrotum [:)]

Must be nearly time for our new resident gangsta's return?

hadawaynshite Posted on 09/07/2008 16:59
oi liddle towers

Howay its Teesside.

There has to be a Tommy Twelve Fingers like!

jumpers4goalposts Posted on 09/07/2008 17:00
oi liddle towers

theres a jonesy butter fingers! lol:D

red_harrington Posted on 09/07/2008 18:53
oi liddle towers

where is nick the greek when you need him? or eddie four fingers

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 09/07/2008 18:59
oi liddle towers

Dont miss out our resident jawdee pet BAWDS otherwise known as Olly OAP shagger...[:D]

jack_bauer Posted on 09/07/2008 19:09
oi liddle towers

Hahaha, this is gold.

wheelz Posted on 09/07/2008 19:11
oi liddle towers

..or Pokey BumW*****

slipshod Posted on 09/07/2008 19:15
oi liddle towers

I just hope Boris the blade doesn't get involved in this.

dooderooni Posted on 09/07/2008 21:31
oi liddle towers

I want to know more about knocker tops Emma.

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 09/07/2008 21:32
oi liddle towers

Come on K_B_B - own up.

bevoboro Posted on 09/07/2008 21:38
oi liddle towers

F*** me this thread sounds like a Damon Runyon story. Where is Harry the Horse??

mr_wigley Posted on 09/07/2008 21:41
oi liddle towers

i hope freddy the frog from peckham doesnt get involved.

Kevin_Bacon_Butties Posted on 09/07/2008 23:01
oi liddle towers

"Come on K_B_B - own up."

To what? Do you think this is me?

Sorry, but not in a million years could I come up with anything as genius as this.

I'm still P***ing myself at "harry the barstard"! [:D]

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 09/07/2008 23:02
oi liddle towers

It's gotta be've not posted so far until the magic 100.

You started it and I claim my 5.

Kevin_Bacon_Butties Posted on 09/07/2008 23:05
oi liddle towers

I guess you didn't see my post earlier in the thread then?

Warwick_Hunt Posted on 09/07/2008 23:06
oi liddle towers


Must be Garstrokes then.

Dr_Evil Posted on 09/07/2008 23:11
oi liddle towers

Vinny is not capable.

Im thinking either Pauluka, Marlon or Lisbon.

kazza Posted on 09/07/2008 23:32
oi liddle towers

where is bororedaz these days

Cecil_J_Mctumshie Posted on 10/07/2008 01:00
oi liddle towers

I believe harry the barstard posts under here but does not use his real name

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 10/07/2008 07:07
oi liddle towers

Powderpuff Pete and Gordon the Gaygobbler are hard men every night apparently [:)]

ExSqueezeMe Posted on 10/07/2008 08:58
oi liddle towers

one werd: pure brilliantce! lmao

THEBOROBOSS Posted on 10/07/2008 09:29
oi liddle towers

I think it's Liddle Towers himself IMO he would have posted a reply by now.

Here's some more Faces for this Story
Bob the Nob
The Bethnal Green Butcher
Jones the Jug

Genesis fans will know who those 3 are.

GoodoldKO Posted on 10/07/2008 10:14
oi liddle towers


Would have thought Liquid Len and Mick the Prick would have deserved an honourable mention!

THEBOROBOSS Posted on 10/07/2008 10:18
oi liddle towers

Cheers Gold i knew there was another couple of names couldn't be bothered to dig the LP out to read the lyrics.

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 10/07/2008 11:04
oi liddle towers

This thread is staying.

We aint mentioned Weeping Malcolm the mole or dare I say it....

Colin Teethgrinder McDuff [:O]

GoodoldKO Posted on 10/07/2008 11:27
oi liddle towers

I'm waiting for Golightly the grass, Tri nitro Norman and Fingernails Frank to make a cameo appearance.

Don't think I've ever laughed so much at a thread on here!

THEBOROBOSS Posted on 10/07/2008 11:36
oi liddle towers

Big Verne and his Crew
Kelly the Jelly
Lenny The Loafer
Self Inflicted

LIDDLE_TOWERS Posted on 10/07/2008 12:33
oi liddle towers

It's Fooking Ace

Being famous

Bring all these Loons drinking on my manor tonite

And i'll buy em all a Pint

Sporting Lodge tonite at 9 bells

I'll have about 2 quid in me pocket to cover it lad

Now Fooking Jog On Son [:D]

hewielewie Posted on 10/07/2008 12:49
oi liddle towers

Now I notice the similarity in the writing style.

Ringer_stinger Posted on 10/07/2008 13:04
oi liddle towers

My day was shufflin along till I read this..........Knocker tops emma! Fookin class lads keep at it

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 10/07/2008 14:39
oi liddle towers

Deserves another shove...

Tony The twitch McVicar

and Fingernails Duffy havent had a mention plus Liddle has arrived on scene....

stedontsurf Posted on 10/07/2008 15:38
oi liddle towers

'Ronnie Post it note'

Just made me spit all over the screen! Brilliant!!

jimmythequiz Posted on 10/07/2008 22:38
oi liddle towers

just back from Sporting Lodge

no sign of anyone called Liddle

do you think the thought that harry and trevor

might be there scared him off

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 11/07/2008 11:15
oi liddle towers

I knew there was something missing today.....

borobadman Posted on 11/07/2008 11:52
oi liddle towers

all mouth no trousers is liddle

like when he tried slapping that kid only to find out it were

drippy dick dan brother's nipper.

ive never seen a grown man grovel as much as he did that day

even offered his beemer as a gesture of sorry.

ask him about the time he tried to curl one down on the

bankside when he went fishing.

some haggis muncher fingered him in the eye for scaring away the


tuck yer gut into yer pants liddle and go front up to harry like

you alwasy reckon you will.

glory hole.

oi whats this about you saying your gonna be rolling with chewy


always picking on people smaller then you.

last time with those milwall lads when he fish hooked

yer and when that taffy pear dropped yer and yer P***ed yerself?

did you get rids of those crabs mate? i heard yer lass had to

number one yer bush.

when you knob around especially with tricia whizzy lips you

play russian roolay and fire.

1 step ahead of yer.

mickymacc Posted on 11/07/2008 16:59
oi liddle towers

You've got a good imagination Liddle.

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 11/07/2008 19:16
oi liddle towers

drippy dick dan [:D]

borobadman Posted on 14/07/2008 10:32
oi liddle towers

what say you liddle?

what yer gonna do when harry comes for yer?

keep hiding in yer house like a rat

PaddyConroy Posted on 14/07/2008 10:52
oi liddle towers

Divent make us laugh man
Couldnt put a tab oot doon yer way
Get yersel owa the west end yer heermo's me an Bull will rag doll yaz.
Am oot a licence now yer nars.

Suzi_Quatros_Piss_Flaps Posted on 21/01/2009 18:25
oi liddle towers

Leave Mark alone!

rick4974 Posted on 21/01/2009 18:29
oi liddle towers

Quality Thread

Jan_uary Posted on 21/01/2009 18:44
oi liddle towers

Tricia whizzy lips!

Dear lord!.

Angelmatty Posted on 21/01/2009 19:25
oi liddle towers

Posted a thread on the frontline site a while back asking if anyone knew liddle.

Got a great reply

Link: linky