permalink for this thread : http://search.catflaporama.com/post/browse/2126204
Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:25
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Male or Female?

I really would like to think someone so witty and funny could be a splitty but surely this can't exist?

Purely for the future of mankind, has to be male[ref]

mattyk50 Posted on 15/09/2010 21:27
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

very funny though

glover_elbow Posted on 15/09/2010 21:32
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

hot to trot[^]

susy Posted on 15/09/2010 21:32
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Not sensitive enough to be a woman, defo a fella... funny chap though.

Easy Posted on 15/09/2010 21:36
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Funniest poster on the board [^]

Boro_Scally Posted on 15/09/2010 21:37
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Male [^]

borolad259 Posted on 15/09/2010 21:38
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

She's like Speckyget with baps'n'flaps.

Corcaigh_the_Cat Posted on 15/09/2010 21:38
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

In the words of Ray Davies,

'she walks like a woman and talks like a man'

Excellent contributor to this board [^]

Evil Posted on 15/09/2010 21:39
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It is rather amusing.

GGGG Posted on 15/09/2010 21:39
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Pre op transexual [^]

ClaireSmith Posted on 15/09/2010 21:41
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

How rude susy !

Like you, I am the owner of a ladies fish-mitten which looks just like Bela Lugosi's gob, and I have NEVER had a veiny bang stick which shot out Valentines Day porridge.


Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:41
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

More to the point, what was there previous username? [?]

borolad259 Posted on 15/09/2010 21:42
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D] Claire [:X]

Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:42
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire [:D] defo male

susy Posted on 15/09/2010 21:44
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Does anyone else have the image in their heads of a tall man with big hands with red nail polish, badly dressed in loose old womans clothes, and a large adams apple with terrible makeup, oh and an ill fitting wig?

GGGG Posted on 15/09/2010 21:45
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Ghengis khan has to be some one [;)]

Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:46
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

That will just be you susy

I image massive cannons and a perfectly trimmed mustache

susy Posted on 15/09/2010 21:46
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Hahaha Pauluka x

Only_Me Posted on 15/09/2010 21:47
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

That old song L.O.L.A. Lola always pops into mind when I see one of Claire's posts.
It's very definitely a male but a very funny one and rofl at his post a bit further up from this.[:D]
Long may he continue!

Only_Me Posted on 15/09/2010 21:48
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

" Does anyone else have the image in their heads of a tall man with big hands with red nail polish, badly dressed in loose old womans clothes, and a large adams apple with terrible makeup, oh and an ill fitting wig? "

Are you thinking more along the lines of Sister Josephine rather than Lola, Susy? [:D]

byrno Posted on 15/09/2010 21:50
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I always imagine that Claire used to be Clive...

teesste Posted on 15/09/2010 21:51
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It's Robs fat next door neighbour..

She was an imaginary name used by Rob a while back to explain to another poster why he shouldn't be slagging off named people on here and within a few minutes Claire was posting on the thread.. one of the regular posters additional usernames

Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:51
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Only_Me, you're another I thought male. Until the smileyfest

What was your previous username?

Only_Me Posted on 15/09/2010 21:52
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

" Only_Me, you're another I thought male. Until the smileyfest

What was your previous username? "

Just this one Pauluka, I'm still fairly new around these parts, even though it must be nearly a year or so, since I joined.[smi]

BoroGrecian Posted on 15/09/2010 21:53
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Pauluka: unless someone obviously has tits and a skirt then you think everyone is a male around here [8)]

Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:53
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Teesste, your talking about the Lisbon episode

GGGG, can't be Ghengis as Claire has never said she was married to a Roman Prince........yet

privatepile75 Posted on 15/09/2010 21:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

definately the boards number one poster and a sext beast who oozes class.

addison-road Posted on 15/09/2010 21:55
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

BG...no need to be vulgar![ref]

Pauluka Posted on 15/09/2010 21:56
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

BoroGrecian, the cheek. You don't obviously have cannons. Although in my mind and tissue they're perfect

BoroGrecian Posted on 15/09/2010 21:57
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

addison_road [:D]

sixtyniner69 Posted on 15/09/2010 22:20
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

i thought BG was an old grey haired bloke who had been in the navy for a long while

oh thats ned

GGGG Posted on 15/09/2010 22:22
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

"GGGG, can't be Ghengis as Claire has never said she was married to a Roman Prince........yet"

[^]....[:D]

DowningAlbion Posted on 15/09/2010 22:39
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I thought it was Lisbon?

scarborosmoggy Posted on 16/09/2010 06:24
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Defo male without a shadow of doubt, comes across as a big hairy arsed trucker.[^]

zzzzz Posted on 16/09/2010 06:56
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

100% Piggy

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 08:10
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

had it down to be you pauluka[:D]


Link: ...........

atomicloonybin Posted on 16/09/2010 08:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I think who ever it is, they must be a cissy virgin who's never enjoyed the lips of a man - or woman, or fish - upon them. Possibly looks a bit like David Bowie on the inside sleeve of Aladdin Sane - no genitalia, or too small to be detected.

Manfriday Posted on 16/09/2010 08:59
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I always thought it was flar but recently she/he has been too amusing to be flar. Definately piggys type of humour

jannizart Posted on 16/09/2010 09:04
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

a man, think Jimmy Carr

sitheman Posted on 16/09/2010 09:18
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

When I read her posts its always one of the voices of the little britain sketch in my head. 'im a lady'

gravyboat Posted on 16/09/2010 09:19
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Man, lives in Ingleby Barwick if the post about the cockatoo had any truth in it (which for some reason, bizarrely seemed to, to me).

Not Piggy. That opening reply to the Red Faction post is the funniest thing I've read on here for a long time, but a bit too cutting for Piggys style.

Haven't worked it out yet, but could be Daz.



toxic_bob Posted on 16/09/2010 09:20
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I also thought flar, but you could be right, manf - too witty

Piggy Posted on 16/09/2010 09:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Gravyboat is right, its not me. She's meaner and funnier.

Rodders_T Posted on 16/09/2010 10:04
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I also had 'her' down as flar.

Whatever I'd rim 'her' anyway just for the critique afterwards! [:P]

borolad259 Posted on 16/09/2010 10:05
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Way too clever and funny to be flar, GK, Daz, Lisbon, Paul or me.
Mr Get has that sort of wit, but not the filthy tramp demeanor.

Hurworth Posted on 16/09/2010 10:06
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I thought it was flar, but hasn't he denied that fact many times? He is an honourable, truthful man that flar, isn't he?[rle]

Piggy Posted on 16/09/2010 10:07
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I thought she might be Southern Smogette

Buddy Posted on 16/09/2010 10:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

*strokes chin thoughtfully*

I think ALB has more insight than he's letting on....

japsterboro Posted on 16/09/2010 10:19
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

"... and I have NEVER had a veiny bang stick which shot out Valentines Day porridge."

The work of only two men on here ... Daz or flar ... you decide![;)]

Jerry_Brown Posted on 16/09/2010 10:21
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

"The work of only two men on here ... Daz or flar ... "

Neither of them have the wit or wherewithal.

littlejimmy Posted on 16/09/2010 10:34
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It can't be capio. It's too clever by far.

gravyboat Posted on 16/09/2010 11:56
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

If that's Capio, I'm Ridsdale.


1st_time_caller Posted on 16/09/2010 12:11
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

thought it might have been poncey at first, but now i reckon it's LL

claire seems to know something about bio-fuels, as does LL. also, they are not often seen on the board at the same time

great character though [^][^]

Ishmael Posted on 16/09/2010 12:22
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I really, really hope that Claire is a lady-person but strongly suspect that it isn't.

That aside, he/she has real talent, and should be writing comedy for a living.

It's not the long lost Bob Fischer is it?

MarlonD Posted on 16/09/2010 12:24
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It comes across a bit Montague_Longfellow or whatever he was called.

MawTheMerrier Posted on 16/09/2010 12:26
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

"take a walk on the wild side"

Claire sounds like PP ..xx to me

But gets my vote [:X]


Buddy Posted on 16/09/2010 12:28
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

This is like the mystery surrounding the Stig. I seem to remember that ending with a few saying "yeah, I knew that years ago" and the rest saying "who?".

Ishmael Posted on 16/09/2010 12:29
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire is several times sharper than PP

MarlonD Posted on 16/09/2010 12:34
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Also could be Lurkalot.

FW_2 Posted on 16/09/2010 12:36
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

You've lost your touch, Buddy.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 12:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Marlon is right I reckon. Could be Monty. Also thought about southern_smogette

Never in a million years is it Lisbon or ponce

piquett Posted on 16/09/2010 12:55
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I can guarentee most on here have not been on the board long enough to know who it is.

Buddy Posted on 16/09/2010 12:55
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Either that or I'm concealing my hand, Mrs _2. [;)]

MarlonD Posted on 16/09/2010 12:55
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire_Smith is a funny character.

Lisbon & Ponce are about as funny as warts on your bellend.

Buddy Posted on 16/09/2010 12:56
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D] Everyone! Over here! It's the lesser spotted Piquet!! Quick, phone Bill Oddie....

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 12:57
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Marlon [:D]

SKEELO Posted on 16/09/2010 12:58
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It's a geeeeezer innit

littlejimmy Posted on 16/09/2010 13:59
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

The Poster Formerly Known as Buggerlugs, perhaps?

squarewheelbike Posted on 16/09/2010 14:09
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Think "Babs Cabs" on the League of Gentlemen.

sasboro1 Posted on 16/09/2010 14:13
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

comfortable_shoes,always had him down as a cross dresser

FlarPhone_Warehouse Posted on 16/09/2010 16:36
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

"Also thought about southern_smogette"

Aye, when I told you it was her mate! [:o)]

gravyboat Posted on 16/09/2010 17:05
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

U_H, perhaps?

Bloody hell, I Haven't A Clue.


Buddy Posted on 16/09/2010 17:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

This is the worst thread I've ever been on.

Capybara Posted on 16/09/2010 17:17
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Chortle.

Billy_Ashcrofts_afro Posted on 16/09/2010 17:18
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Definite tranny [:X]

IMUK Posted on 16/09/2010 17:20
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Oh, the tension!

How will you all sleep tonight?

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 17:20
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Ok so we are all agreed on male.

Previous username, well reading above I reckon we have about 50 potentials

IMUK Posted on 16/09/2010 17:23
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire Smith - men want to be her, women want to be with her!

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 17:26
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

mscurly?[smi]

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 17:28
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Hmm doubt its Curlers.

captain5 Posted on 16/09/2010 17:31
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

It's not that masculine. [:O]

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 17:33
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Well if it is MsCurly then everyone was right, ClaireSmith is a gadge [B)]

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 17:34
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:O][:O]

scarborosmoggy Posted on 16/09/2010 17:34
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Gillandi.

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 18:29
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Erm, I know who you all are you know, and also where to find you if necessary.


Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 18:30
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I knew that would bring you out [ref]

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 18:31
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D][:D]

ClaireSmith Posted on 16/09/2010 19:16
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

How charming ! I've had to take a day off work - been in floods of tears - thanks to the variously described taunts of 'TS Girl', 'Herm-ie Wise' and 'Simon The Hymen'.

For the record, I've no idea who ANY of you are and I'm up to my 36D size 16 back-teeth with Robert calling me a fat cow in the road and taking my washable Tena-Briefs off the line.

In fairness, I've got one of his Wallace & Gromit knee-socks under my pillow which Clive and me like to auto-asphyxiate ourselves with during coitus upthepumperus.


1st_time_caller Posted on 16/09/2010 19:19
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

PMSL!!!! [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]


Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 19:24
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

If only she was real [:D]

borolad259 Posted on 16/09/2010 19:27
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

Ishmael Posted on 16/09/2010 19:47
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I'd swap places with Clive any day!...er, If she was real like..cough

bobthegob Posted on 16/09/2010 19:49
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

bloke deffo

Chuzzlewit Posted on 16/09/2010 20:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire Smith is Rod Liddle. Fact.

gravyboat Posted on 16/09/2010 21:04
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Oooh, now there's a thing.

redisameancolour Posted on 16/09/2010 21:07
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

What a crap thread to get the big ton !!! [;)][:D]

ClaireSmith Posted on 16/09/2010 21:11
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

You can swap places with my Clive if you're up for it. I usually take him for his walk and wee about 1130pm, then he's down in his basket the rest of the night, dreaming about rabbits.

I say basket. I keep him in a pram and put lippy on him. Got him at Jolivals on the A19 in their closing down sale.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 21:12
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Red, its because I started it. That's the secret ingredient [ref]

redisameancolour Posted on 16/09/2010 21:13
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Cant fault ya pauluka mate........ Have i just made it a ton there ?? [;)]

addison-road Posted on 16/09/2010 21:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I reckon (butt plug) Lurkalot[:O]

redisameancolour Posted on 16/09/2010 21:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Have now !!!!

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 21:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Not sure mate [8)]

redisameancolour Posted on 16/09/2010 21:16
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Right ok its hit the ton..... lets forget about this Claire gadge or whatever his name is [8)]

woodymfc Posted on 16/09/2010 21:18
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Claire Smith is infact a cross dressing bloke who lives round the corner from me in Ingleby

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 21:22
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

There was a board vote asking if I was a girl once, think razmond started it.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 21:23
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

You're all girl Curlers [;)]

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 21:31
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

You'd better hope so, Paul. [:D]

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 21:33
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D]

woodymfc Posted on 16/09/2010 21:38
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Aye Pipkins is all woman who fancies Davina McCall

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 21:39
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I don't fancy Davina! [:D]

Anyway, I like big hairy men.

ClaireSmith is much more my type.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 21:40
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I'm hairy[8)]

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 21:45
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I know dear, but I'm dipping out now because I'm not going to hijack Claire's thread.

Also.....my days of getting into bother are well and truly behind me, so I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

[:o)]

woodymfc Posted on 16/09/2010 21:45
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Now come on Curlers, cast your mind back to 2006, Davina, Fridge and Carrots..............Remember [?]

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 21:47
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D]mscurly did you sort your dodgy emails out[:D]

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 21:52
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Woody.......I'll have to take your word for it, but it obviously left an impression on you. [:D] I was probably just entertaining my boys. I've retired now. [:o)][:o)]

Kazza.....hope so! I'm not really selling viagra, flourescent condoms or penis extenders, and if I was, I would selectively (and diplomatically) send them to some of my male contacts, NOT you. [:D]

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 21:54
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D][:D]

woodymfc Posted on 16/09/2010 21:58
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Eeeeeeeesh!

Nice to see you on here anyway, sleep well and enjoy your retirement [:X]

ClaireSmith Posted on 16/09/2010 21:58
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Curly. I think I know you maybe (?).

I used to see a lad from Grangetown called Paul who wore jeans and listened to Franz Ferdinand who knew you.

Paul that is, not Franz Ferdinand.


kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 21:59
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D]

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 22:00
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Grangetown Paul?

Wow, heard he's really virile.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 22:03
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Grangetown Paul? Sounds like a drug dealer

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 22:04
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

You had to be there Paul, although if you were YOU might have ended up the duff too!

There was a lot of it going about.

ClaireSmith Posted on 16/09/2010 22:07
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Virile ? He was vile, more like. He put my gran in a wheelie-bin and made the cat watch ! He was a proper mans-man mind - full of spunk and derring do.

But mostly spunk.

Probably what got him those 19 years in Durham ultimately.

borolad259 Posted on 16/09/2010 22:10
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[:D] I love this thread.

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 22:10
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

He didn't let you come first, did he?

SelfishXXXXXXs, the lot of them.

Pauluka Posted on 16/09/2010 22:10
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

Put my gran in the wheelie bin and made the cat watch [:D]

Started singing Topcat to myself then

ClaireSmith Posted on 16/09/2010 22:21
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

No, all joking aside - Grangetown Paul helped me over a bad time in my life. You might have seen it in the papers, but for 17 years my Austrian Uncle, Josef Smithzl, kept me locked under his house and held me as a slave. When I eventually got out and back home, Paul was there at the bus-station waiting to greet me - Netto bag and cock in hand, tracky bottoms covered in custard.

The daft sod tried to help me with a cathartic plan to overcome my depression and write a book about the ordeal. He drew some crayon pictures as illustrations and wiped them on his filthy micky, while I bashed away day and night on my Commodore Vic 1001.

It was rubbish, and certainly not a best cellar.

MsCurly Posted on 16/09/2010 22:26
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

*ripple of applause*

They don't make posters like this anymore ladies and gents!

Night all, x.

kazza Posted on 16/09/2010 22:35
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

cya mrs, take care!!

Ishmael Posted on 17/09/2010 08:07
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I think I might start a Fan Club.

Members?

Piggy Posted on 17/09/2010 08:14
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

I'm erring towards Comfy now. Some of those latest remarks are almost Sweet Williamesque.

scuzzmonster Posted on 17/09/2010 08:32
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

There are a few long-time members - once to be spotted together in a pre-match boozing club at the Bierrex - who've shown up on this thread for the first time in yonks. By process of elimination, I reckon ClaireSmith's name begins with either a J or a B, though the hard-edged style of humour has me leaning towards the former.

Alimentary.

piquett Posted on 17/09/2010 08:44
Board Vote - ClaireSmith

[;)]@ scuzz