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newyddion Posted on 01/09/2010 15:01
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

After having met with a surgeon over his persistent injuries he was advised to call and end to his football career. Jonathan Woodgate officially retired from football on August 29th 2010.

Link: Wiki Wha?

MawTheMerrier Posted on 01/09/2010 15:04
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


very sad news - was a great player [^]

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:04
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Where will he go now the Captain Cook is closed?

Mind you he'll have nothing to hide now will he? [:O]

Jeremy_Clarkson Posted on 01/09/2010 15:05
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Best not be thrivty no more with 50 pound notes [;)]

seriously talented lad shame about his injuries and the company kept over the years.

Probably end up on Sky

Royal_Marines_Commando Posted on 01/09/2010 15:06
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Gets everything he deserves that piece of sh*t

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:06
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

On SKY doing what?

Absolutely atrocious in front of the cameras. Will end up like Neil Ruddock

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:06
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Give us a great year when he was here on loan and one of the best centre halfs I have seen on a pitch.

Recall him having Henry in his pocket for 90 mins at Arsenal when we drew 1-1

Sea_Harrier Posted on 01/09/2010 15:07
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He must be devastated.

Injuries prevented him gaining full potential at both club and international levels.

Sorry to see you go, Woody.

walo Posted on 01/09/2010 15:08
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Would have been englands best centrehalf of the modern era ,carried ferdinand at leeds and john terry couldnt lace his boots.Without injuries he wolud still be at real madrid a class act.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 15:08
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

YOu source is onyl Wikipedia i.e. there is a high chance it's bullshyt.

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Brought a lot on himself though S_H.

2 court cases and a broken jaw haven't been the only problems that the drink has caused him during his career.

oooooo Posted on 01/09/2010 15:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Why do people think this is true?

Midosparmo Posted on 01/09/2010 15:11
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Too ugly and thick for Sky.

Perhaps "Im a celebrity get me out of here" though the bushtucker trials may crock him further.

R0fl_tb_xx Posted on 01/09/2010 15:11
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

If it's on wikipedia it is definitely true.

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:12
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Is there medical evidence to suggest that drinking cause’s knee ligament, thigh problems and back injuries?

Surprised I can still get round a Golf Course at 41 is that’s the case????

newyddion Posted on 01/09/2010 15:12
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I don't know if it is true [rle]

Torino Posted on 01/09/2010 15:13
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Im going to edit Wiki to say that Messi plays for Boro now, if everything on it is true [:P]

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:13
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Yeah because strolling around the golf course at Norton is the same as 3 x 90 minute games a week at the very top of the game are the same.

Regular drinking does affect performance at the top level and playing at less than 100% does affect the body at the highest level.

newyddion Posted on 01/09/2010 15:14
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Would have been englands best centrehalf of the modern era" [^]

teesste Posted on 01/09/2010 15:15
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I have my doubts about the validity of that source seeing as a bit further up it states:

"Another reason for his transfer to Spurs was because Woodgate had to flee Middlesbrough after pi55ing of many people."

I smells a rat!

tonymcandrewshattrick Posted on 01/09/2010 15:15
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Im going to edit Wiki to say that Messi plays for Boro now, if everything on it is true "

strachan would probably play him in goals anyway

women_are_dirty Posted on 01/09/2010 15:16
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Getting XXXXXXed every weekend when you should be keeping your body in top condition shows a lack of professionalism. It also means they will lack professionalism when it comes to othere things such as warming up, diet etc

smog_mfc Posted on 01/09/2010 15:16
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He was for me Englands best CB when fit.

Read the game brilliantly and pleased we got a decent amount of games out of him considering.

Shame[|)] what a player when fit[^]

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:16
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

To be fair, he is nearly 20 years younger and and I walk twice its distance in a round.

Bryan Robson managed it. Do you have a link to the drink causing sporting injuries or dont you really know?

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:18
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Bryan Robson managed it."

Managed what? To be a complete crock? That's what he was

Who next Gascoigne?

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:21
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Getting XXXXXXed every weekend"

Were you that close to him? Even when he lived in Madrid, London, and Leeds?

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:24
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Managed what? To be a complete crock?"[:D][:D][:D][:D]

I am talking about the second oldest man to play premiership football, not bad a a drinker.

You talking about that Geordie in the flasher Mac running across Wembley in 73?[:o)]

piston_broke Posted on 01/09/2010 15:25
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

No sympathy here for him, Arrogant tw4t.

women_are_dirty Posted on 01/09/2010 15:25
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Didnt robbo miss out on playing in the world cup due to being XXXXXXed.

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:26
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"No sympathy here for him, Arrogant tw4t"

Did you see him burn the fifty in the Dickens?

ccole Posted on 01/09/2010 15:28
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Didnt robbo miss out on playing in the world cup due to being XXXXXXed"

So did Ballack (sp). Was he a piish head every weekend?

LTS_3 Posted on 01/09/2010 15:29
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Wether he is a good lad or an arrogant w@nker - why the f___ should we, as 'hard-working' people, feel sorry for him?!!?

He's played against some of the best players in the history of the premier league, and played with some of the best players of all time at Madrid, earned a f___ load of money (at least some of which he should still have) and has probably had more women than he can count.

I'm the same age as him. Yeah he needs me to feel sorry for him. FFS.

Rodders_T Posted on 01/09/2010 15:30
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

3rd oldest but he wasn't playing regularly at all like others in the top 10 list.

Robson was a crock, well known joke compared him to a tampon, in for 1 week out for 4.

Missed 2 world cups because of injuries and always struggled with niggles. Level of fitness wasn't even close to todays players either

buttermyarse Posted on 01/09/2010 15:38
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I wonder if he will have to wait until he is 65 to access his pension like I have to.......[|)]

piston_broke Posted on 01/09/2010 15:41
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


No i didnt [?]

Does that matter[?]

He is a friend of a friend, and i was in his company for about 30mins one night and that was long enough to make my own mind up about him.[V]

Torino Posted on 01/09/2010 15:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

With LTS_3 on this one, he dosen't need anyone to feel sorry for him. He's done what many can only dream of.

Algarve Posted on 01/09/2010 15:46
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I have been in Woodgates company many times in Portugal, and ive played golf with him a few times, I found nothing offensive about the lad at all.The Newcastle lads all think he is sound also, There again ive never seen him out on the town in Boro.. so who knows

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 15:47
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

i was in his company for about 30mins one night

Oh 'ello.........

Algarve Posted on 01/09/2010 15:54
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Royal Marines Commando, whatever did this board do , to deserve a total TºT like him, and Piston broke a close second !!!!!

squarewheelbike Posted on 01/09/2010 16:35
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Still no official confirmation of this BTW

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 17:36
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Easy Algarve, so a couple of people think your boyfriends a bellend. Chillax.

Total cock anyhow but a good footballer, nice to see someone from boro do well.

IMUK Posted on 01/09/2010 17:44
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He was at the entrance to Darlington train station at the same time as me on Tuesday morning with a female. She couldn't find her ticket so he threw his on the floor under the barrier so she could get through and on the plane! Money hey?

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 17:47
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He was at the entrance to Darlington train station at the same time as me on Tuesday morning with a female. She couldn't find her ticket so he threw his on the floor under the barrier so she could get through and on the plane! Money hey?


IMUK Posted on 01/09/2010 17:49
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

You need to pass a ticket through the machine to get through the barrier onto the platform. She had lost/misplaced/didn't have a ticket so he threw his on the floor for her to pick up and use thereby running the risk of her not having a ticket on the train and being fined.

Capybara Posted on 01/09/2010 17:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Indeed. It lacks sense on a number of levels that one.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 17:55
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I think it was the mention of a plane that threw me

IMUK Posted on 01/09/2010 17:56
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A fair point TC, I've talking about my flight tomorrow whilst typing! [:I]

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:07
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

That sounds like quite a nice gesture from Woodgate to be honest.

I'd do the same thing if I didn't need my ticket and the woman in front couldn't find hers.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 18:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Don't mean to get technical but surely once you go through the barriers you ticket is spent. Least it is on the tube.

Therefore Woodgate's was an empty gesture. What a shythouse [V]

Sea_Harrier Posted on 01/09/2010 18:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:12
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

TC - You may be right about that.

I was talking from my perspective, though. I live in London and use a travel-card when I don't have my Oyster card with me. You can make as many journeys as you like with a travel-card.

Is there any way we can verify the kind of ticket Woodgate was using?

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 18:14
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Yes but even with a Travelcard, you can't go through into the tube then pass your ticket back and have someone else try it. It wouldn't work.

One you go 'in' you have got to come 'out' for it to work again. Not just with Oyster and Travelcards but with bog standard tickets too

Capybara Posted on 01/09/2010 18:18
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I'm glad this subject has got on to proper issues, ie rail ticketing. There's whole websites devoted to 'this type of thing' you know [smi]

Link: tickets please!

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:19
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Ah, ok TC.

Well I always assumed that you could be in and out of the stations at your own leisure and that there would be no problems, say, if I went through the barriers and handed my ticket back to the person behind me to come through. I've never tried it before, I just assumed that it would work.

I have a feeling that it'll probably happen to me on the Tube tomorrow now you've pointed it out, TC.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 01/09/2010 18:24
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

No way, the system is far more advanced that you are clearly giving it credit for, viv.

Once you go down the 'passing back' route, it's a one way street to embarassment when the gates fail.

If you get chance tomorrow morning, test it for yourself, ideally during rush hour. I think you will find I am right on all counts.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 18:38
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Just to clarify, this woeful practice is known as "backpassing" and whilst TFL and National Rail take every reasonable precaution to prevent it; alas scum like Woodgate still try to play the system.

On this eveidence I refer to TC's previous description of Woodgate as a Shytehouse [:D]

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:38
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

It's just a small piece of cardboard though, how does it know these things?

Capybara Posted on 01/09/2010 18:40
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

There's a magnetic strip on the back. Gates are programmed to detect the passage of the same ticket twice.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:42
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A magnetic strip on the on the back of a cardboard travel-card?

It just doesn't sit right with me, I have to be honest.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 18:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Never trust a magnet Viv. Have you seen Lost? B@stards they are.

dixieland Posted on 01/09/2010 18:44
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He is everything that is wrong about todays super rich Footballers. Snorting Coke(I actually seen it) in a Pub toilet after playing like XXXXXXe 5 hours earlier when we got stuffed at home is not the way to act. But he was so spaced out, he didn't give a toss.

Capybara Posted on 01/09/2010 18:45
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

That's all very well but what's it got to do with rail ticketing?

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 18:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

You're right E_BD.

I made the decision not to trust magnets at primary school and haven't looked back.

I'm still perturbed upon hearing that there is a piece of cardboard that is potentially cleverer than I am, though.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 18:51
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

The man makes a good point Dixie. Perhaps he chopped it up using a young persons rail card be robbed from a student, or rolled up his train ticket to snort it with?

Capybara Posted on 01/09/2010 18:54
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Fair point. Or perhaps the £50 note he allegedly burned was actually a two week all-line Rail Rover (First Class) [:O]

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 01/09/2010 19:03
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I saw Woodgate throw a 'tripper' away once. Well I say throw away, I mean get on the bus with it and put it in that unusual bin they have on buses. So, he's not all bad you know.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 19:33
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Perhaps if he took his football as seriously as he does being a savvy public transport consumer, then he wouldn't have to consider retirement. Perhaps he could be the coalitions public transport tsar

Lethal_Alvizzle Posted on 01/09/2010 19:47
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Jonathan Woodgate in public transport ticketing scam shocker

scuzzmonster Posted on 01/09/2010 19:54
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I just can't square the Idea of his being a savvy public transport consumer with him burning £50 notes in The Dickens, though.

Jonny_Ingbar Posted on 01/09/2010 19:59
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Was at the Riverside to watch our impressive (ahem) win vs the football goliath that is Shef Utd.

Enjoyed a nice Riverside burger at half time too [^]

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 01/09/2010 20:13
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Scuzz, burning notes is a practice in which he has control. No greater feeling than sticking it to the man by ensuring that your public transport needs are fully catered for at the most frugal price possible.

IMUK Posted on 02/09/2010 11:11
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I heard he'd come to the Riverside because he lost his original train ticket and thought he'd have more luck searching through the litter on the concourse for a replacement. Would appear he was correct. First class too. 'Boro fans would appear to be as wasteful with their public transport passes as the clerb is with their transfer funds.

newyddion Posted on 02/09/2010 11:41
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Looks like he is going for the last chance operation.

Good Luck Woody [^]

ccole Posted on 02/09/2010 12:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

One or two people have made themselves to look foolish and bullshiiters on this thread.[:o)]

Not a case of “stop digging” more “leave the shovel in the shed”[:D]

markw_21 Posted on 02/09/2010 16:03
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Rodders, the Cross is his local... He was in there the back end of July mortalled with Downing's Sister, she couldn't stand up!!

Capybara Posted on 02/09/2010 16:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Probably relaxing after a day out at Whitby on a Northern Duo ticket.

Esteban Posted on 02/09/2010 16:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Am I right in thinking he was in the west stand at the last game?

bobby_pastrami Posted on 02/09/2010 16:13
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He was in Boro recently, that's for sure. My mate bumped into him in the Dickens a couple of Sundays ago. Apparently he had his usual gang of goons with him, looking a bit shady and what not.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 02/09/2010 16:28
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"He was in Boro recently, that's for sure. My mate bumped into him in the Dickens a couple of Sundays ago. Apparently he had his usual gang of goons with him, looking a bit shady and what not."

Yes, but how did he get there though? Especially on a Sunday, maybe he knows a good ticket website or something.

bobby_pastrami Posted on 02/09/2010 16:29
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I don't know how he got there. National Rail to Darlo and then a train to Boro. Taxi to the Dickens.

Capybara Posted on 02/09/2010 16:31
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

The only way of getting there in time for the match the other Sunday was to take the first Grand Central to Eaglescliffe and changing there.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 02/09/2010 16:32
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A taxi? That would go against everything the lad stands for. Unless, of course, he has a 'loyalty' card with Ace.

MightyDuck Posted on 02/09/2010 16:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

did anyone ever see him describing a parmo as having 'ben-chen-amel' sauce?

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 02/09/2010 17:21
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Did anyone hear that story where he bought two singles instead of a return? Apparently advance singles can be cheaper [?] nothing gets past that lad.

Capybara Posted on 02/09/2010 17:27
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I'd heard he'd practically discovered himself the incredible usefulness of the infamous Middlesbrough to Carlisle Anytime Return.

fozzylegend Posted on 02/09/2010 17:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

FFS! while playing for the skunks, even they used to call him "village"...... how their opinions must change when they read of his fare dodging nous................he could easily be a rocket surgeon or a brain scientist ;) with a knowledge like his.......or if he is really desperate , there is always dancing on ice soapstar superstar challlenge or whatever they are called now......could be hanging out of abi t1tmuss before you know it!

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 02/09/2010 17:46
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He may have chickens hamstrings but he is really is clued up on his public transport that lad.

Manny-Being-Manny Posted on 02/09/2010 17:52
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Maybe when he dropped the ticket as she bent down to pick it up she sneakily crawled under the barrier, therefore avoiding the embarrassing moment of the machine throwing the card back. Or maybe he dropped it so that he could look down her top when she bent over?

redwurzel Posted on 02/09/2010 17:53
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

With hindsight it was the right decision to move him on in Jan 2008 - We had him for 17 months for the cost of his wages.

He cost Spurs £8m plus his wages for approx 25 games? They will lose more then we did with Alves.

I suppose they did us with Mido - so 1-1

HolgateCorner Posted on 02/09/2010 20:25
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

good point above about Mido, makes me feel less bitter anyway.

Good defender Woodgate, a Boro lad who did very well for himself within football.

Pity about the off field stuff but he won't be the first or the last.

JPRF Posted on 02/09/2010 22:07
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Someone should probably point out the fact that he hasn't actually retired...

SplendidStuff Posted on 02/09/2010 22:23
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

You just did[8)]

Its the usual nobhead in the know who really doesn't know.

newyddion Posted on 02/09/2010 22:28
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


We were still paying part of Woodgate's wages until we got relegated [|)]

Vasily_Rats Posted on 02/09/2010 23:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

pmsl at the ticket twist this thread took !

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 03/09/2010 00:24
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Cabybara does seem to have a disturbing knowledge of the names of travel offers that's for sure [:D]

newyddion Posted on 03/09/2010 00:37
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I hope he makes a full recovery.

Not sure how many seasons he could have at the top if he does [rle]

IMUK Posted on 03/09/2010 09:23
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I hope he hasn't bought a season ticket for the trains if he chooses to retire, would be a terrible waste. Although he would probably use some of the fare dodging skills he demonstrated earlier to help numerous other passangers through those dastardley barriers and onto their day trips to Doncaster.

SYDNEYSIDER Posted on 03/09/2010 10:15
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I think that's sad. He was a brilliant defender, but made Viduka look like an ever present. I remember his first game on loan for the Boro against Arsenal. He had Henry in his pocket. I reckon if it was not for injury, he could have been one of England's greatest defenders.
However, I have heard he is dikk also and his of field indiscressions are nothing to be proud of

Capybara Posted on 03/09/2010 10:15
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Cabybara does seem to have a disturbing knowledge of the names of travel offers that's for sure'

Not as much as the boy Woodgate that's for sure. I'll bet he knows the National Rail Routeing Guide inside out. And he's not fare dodging. He's getting the best fares available by legal means, which is quite diffeent.

r00fie Posted on 03/09/2010 10:18
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Someone send him a giro [cr]

IMUK Posted on 03/09/2010 10:57
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

My apologies, I'd forgotten that this was clearly a show of initiative and "thinking outside the box" from Mr Woodgate, rather than an example of people abusing the much maligned train service and it's many potential loopholes.

DCFC_blondie Posted on 03/09/2010 17:24
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

[:D] This is one of the reasons I love this msg board. Brilliant! [^]


chimpy07 Posted on 03/09/2010 17:59
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Sorry if this comes as a shock to some, but back in my day as a taxi driver for normanby taxis, Mr Woodgate was one of our most valued customers, dont ever recall dropping him at the train station either [^]

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 03/09/2010 18:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A very interesting twist indeed chimpy. Very very interesting.

Although I'm sure you'll agree that there is ample evidence above for us to assume that he is indeed well versed in the way of the choo choo?

Capybara, Viv Andersons Nanna we must consider the implications of chimpy's witness statement.

Hapas Posted on 06/09/2010 16:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Speaking of Mido, did anyone see him lording it up on the Orient Express the other week?

On the London to Chatsworth House route, walk on fare, guzzling Kentish Guinea Fowl like nobodies business.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 06/09/2010 16:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"dont ever recall dropping him at the train station either"

chimpy, when you say "don't ever recall" what is it you mean exactly? Is it possible that you may have forgotten talking the lad to the station?

Controversial, very controversial, either way.

IMUK Posted on 06/09/2010 16:55
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I'm guessing chimpy may have dropped him around the corner from the station so that he could have jumped over the fence/wall and avoided the barrier and thereby the fare in a different manner. Further evidence of his dubious practices when it comes to ther train service and it's fees.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 06/09/2010 17:03
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

And to think that littlejimmy is looking to pay £180+ to attend an interview and this guy is freeloading. Sickening to say the least [V]

IMUK Posted on 06/09/2010 17:05
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Wonder if one of the Red Top rags has picked up on this thread and is now planning an expose on fare dodging by multi-millionnaire footballers using a leggy blonde as a honey trap?

TurnbullsCans Posted on 06/09/2010 17:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Haha, class Chimpy's statement about not recalling evert dropping him at the station [:D][^]

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 06/09/2010 17:18
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

TC - We shouldn't take chimpy's statement as gospel, i've seen enough episodes of LA Law to know that people can 'forget' some quite important stuff, on occasion.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 06/09/2010 17:21
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Are you saying Woodgate drugged him?

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 06/09/2010 17:27
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I'm trying to keep an open mind, wherever possible, TC.

I wouldn't rule anything out, at this early stage. A 'tentative stage of enquiries', I believe they call it.

TurnbullsCans Posted on 06/09/2010 17:30
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Wise approach [^]

Chimpy needs to be 'helping' with enquiries in case there is anything else he remembers not being able to remember Woodgate doing.

Capybara Posted on 06/09/2010 17:31
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Indeed. Perhaps chimpy holds a grudge because Woodgate was once able to get him to knock thirty bob off the fare to Marton because he had a North-East Ranger ticket. 'Thirty bob off or I get the train, simple as that.'

bevoboro Posted on 06/09/2010 17:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

We must take it into account that Woodgate may have bought Chimpy's silence over the matter with the offer of free passage through any rail barrier in the country.

sheriff_john_bunnell Posted on 06/09/2010 18:07
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I once seen juninho using a childrens ticket on the tube. He was clever enough to use the barrier farthest away from the lu fella so he wouldn't hear the beeping.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 06/09/2010 18:59
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

This is going from bad to worse. If the Rooney story wasn't broken yesterday I think the rags would be all over this spoiling story like a rash.

All I would do at this point is appeal to Chimpy to come forward and speak about his dealings with JW so that we can gather a true picture of events. Assuming Chimpy is not your real name, the police can take down anonymous statements should you feel your safety may be at risk.


viv_andersons_nana Posted on 07/09/2010 19:20
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I think chimpy's silence speaks volumes.

borobuddah Posted on 07/09/2010 19:31
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Agree about his game against Arsenal on his debut, Henry didn't have a chance, it was one of the best defensive performances I've seen from a Boro player.

On the downside, he did nowt to help me and my daughter travel to the game.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 15:42
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Today's Heat magazine's 'spotted' section claims to have seen Jonathan Woodgate travelling on the Victoria Line on a Zones 1&2 travelcard.

Capybara Posted on 15/09/2010 15:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Perhaps he was trying out the new trains. I'd have thought he'd have an Oyster, mind.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 16:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I have it on very good authority that El Woody has been asked to write a monthly column for 'Purple Train, Purple Train' monthly from October onwards.

He'll be tackling the red hot railway-based issues of the month, giving his thoughts on various pricing-structures from across the country and generally making the world a better place for commuters.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 16:12
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

His first feature could be on 'Ticket Splitting' - the legal, low-cost way to travel.

Another feature on how to beat the inflation busting price rises closer to Christmas would go down well too.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 16:18
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

He's also got a very strong opinion when it comes to people who eat smelly food on trains, so i'm sure he'll be airing those grievances as and when.

Apparently he's been asked to be the face of the 'Buffer 2 Buffer' campaign, where he will encourage people not to get off a couple of stops early 'on the off chance'.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 16:26
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I wonder how early ahead he is booking his work and how far he is willing to deviate from train ticketing.

If diversifying he could start to record a DVD disuading kids from playing near railway lines during the summer holidays.

Admittedly he has a small window of opportunity to get this up and running before winter sets in and I wouldn't knock a minefield project like this back until Spring, too risky.

jimmythewondercat Posted on 15/09/2010 16:47
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'One Capybara, there's only one Capybara'

That may not be a bad thing, but the boy has a way of hijacking threads rarely seen in this day and age.

I hope you youngsters watch and learn!


viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 16:48
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

The DVD idea is superb. [^]

"Ow, nipper, gerroff the track man thes a train cummon y'mong..."

Maybe he could do a John Sargeant-style documentary for BBC Four, where he travels round India on various railways and entertains the locals with tales from dressing rooms past.

MawTheMerrier Posted on 15/09/2010 16:52
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


Capybara Posted on 15/09/2010 17:00
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A boxed set looms I reckon. 'Steaming Round Britain with Woodgate'. An in-depth look at the preservation scene with England's favourite serially-crocked central defender.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 17:05
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Around The World In 80 Daze'

Jonathan Woodgate gets drunk in as many railwayman's pubs as possible.

Thursday, 10.30pm, BBC Three.

Capybara Posted on 15/09/2010 17:12
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Fifty quid to Berne'. Britain's foremost footballing rail-ticketing expert on how to travel by rail from London to the Swiss capital when you are on a budget.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 17:24
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Never Plays, Trains Or Looks After His Knees'

Jonathan Woodgate and Johnny Vegas spend two days getting drunk and arguing on railway platforms before shaking hands and spending Christmas together.

Channel Four, Boxing Day.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 17:30
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Undercover Boss-- ex England footballer Jonathon Woodgate goes undercover in some of Britains rural rail stations to help develop business in the recession. But will his cover be blown and what will the ex international learn along the way?

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 17:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'The Raily Wild Show'

Jonathan Woodgate teams up with Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan in an effort to find out more about the wildlife that lives in and around Britain's railway network.

Sunday, 7pm, Channel Five.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 17:42
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Off the rails". Jonathan Woodgate joins Bill Grundy for a walk along the tracks of the North Yorks Railway and speaks candidly about his relationships within football and his love of all things rail related.

Towell Posted on 15/09/2010 17:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


Capybara Posted on 15/09/2010 17:51
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Piston Laager.

An entertaining glimpse into the South African steam haulage scene with Teesside's favourite hobbling rail buff.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 18:09
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Around the world in 80 trains.

Michael Palin and trainee python Jonathan Woodgate battle it out against a team of bicycle enthusiasts to be the first across all seven continents. Who will be the first across the finish line when they arrive in Dheli? Last in the series

GGGG Posted on 15/09/2010 18:16
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Ive seen the first picture of Woodgate since his retirement

Link: Woody

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 15/09/2010 18:29
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Amongst all the guff on here, this thread stands out lik a giant among men.


chimpy07 Posted on 15/09/2010 19:01
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Lads Lads wots all the fuss about, ffs. What i said was, I dont recall ever dropping him at the train station, meaning im not saying that he never got dropped there, maybe one of the other lads may have done but I didnt.

Quite the opposite about the forced discount too Capybara, In fact the bloke tipped very generously, was a really plesant fella as well, not the sort of pig-headed tw@ that some ppl try making him out to be.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 19:36
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'No Station, No Station, No Station'

Jonathan Woodgate travels to some of Britain's most isolated communities in an effort to convince the local authorities that investment in their local rail network is the only way forward.

Wednesday, 9pm, More 4.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 15/09/2010 19:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Chimps Cabs

Everybody's favourite enthusiastic taxi-driver Chimpy sets off on his swash buckling adventures around Teesside. But will a chance encounter with Su Pollard make him regret his comments about 70's family favourite Hi De Hi?

Living tv 7.30pm

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 15/09/2010 20:38
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Station Masters Of The Universe'

Join Jonathan Woodgate as he maps out the history of Britain's rail network through a series of light-hearted interviews with some of the most colourful characters ever to work within the UK's railway industry.

Sunday, 6.30pm, BBC Two.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 13/10/2010 15:41
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Between Rock Salt and a Hard Plaice

Footballer Jonathan Woodgate takes on the recipe challenge, but after his crash course from expert Rusty Lee, will the ex-international choose to cook the Middlesbrough Parmo or the Leeds Yorkshire Pudding for his guests?

UKTV Food 8pm Tuesday

Capybara Posted on 13/10/2010 15:57
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

All New It's a Knockout Challenge. Jonathan Woodgate brings the 60s show right up to date and into the age of the privatised railway. Out goes the 'how many students can you get into a Mini' challenge and in comes the 'how many football supporters can you cram into the single three-car Class 185 Trans Pennine Express diesel multiple unit which is the only timetabled train back to Leeds from Middlesbrough after the match is switched to an early evening kick-off for the benefit of Sky viewers?' challenge. 'And what do you do with those who can't get on it?'

perryboy Posted on 13/10/2010 16:50
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

cant take away the fact he was a great footballer. but shame you cant take away the fact he was up a jumped up prick, who loved the marching powder. lets see how many pals he has now he,s a has been

Miklaadt Posted on 13/10/2010 17:19
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Capy [:D]

...and as usual the TPE guard will stay in the back cab and be too scared to come down the train and throw the oiks on standard tickets out of the first class bit.

borobarmy1 Posted on 13/10/2010 17:31
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Poor Woody's last moments doing what he loved

Link: shame

Capybara Posted on 15/11/2010 16:53
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Woodgate's Wanderings: The hobbling Hotspur answers all your burning questions about modern rail travel such as: 'How do I get from Eastbourne to Sevenoaks for interview at 9am' and reveals that if only the Government had taken the decision to re-open the Lewes to Uckfield line, then trips such as these would have been so much easier.

gravyboat Posted on 18/12/2010 14:00
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I've no idea how I missed this.

Great work from viv, but two proper snorty laugh out loud moments thanks to capy.


Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 18/12/2010 14:00
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


crouchy Posted on 18/12/2010 14:51
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

woodgate hasnt retired hes actually been stepping up his rehab at spurs dont believe wiki

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 18/12/2010 14:56
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Whoooosh for Crouchy.

Crouchy are you a Painter & Decorator?

Julios_Hairband Posted on 18/12/2010 15:23
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

"Is there medical evidence to suggest that drinking cause’s knee ligament, thigh problems and back injuries?"

Yes. Excessive drinking can cause all sorts of problems, not necessarily the same for everyone, but these are certainly within the realms of possibility.

Edit: oops, whoosh.

HarryVegas Posted on 18/12/2010 15:25
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Suppose he can double up at Spuds as a specialist London Underground travel adviser? You know - help out those foreign lads who he's so fond of.

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 18/12/2010 15:36
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

That's more like it Harry [^]

Capybara Posted on 20/12/2010 15:08
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Indeed. He could be lobbying for a branch of the Victoria Line from Seven Sisters to Northumberland Park by the depot. Even if it was a matchday only service (like they have on some tram routes in Europe) it would ease post-match congestion on Tottenham High Road.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 20/12/2010 16:10
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Buffer The Vampire Slayer'

Jonathan Woodgate makes his debut as a 'serious' actor in this unlikely tale of creatures of the night, capes and sexual tension. Based in and around Kings Cross station, Woodgate's character(Jackson Lobcroft) is employed by Transport for London to protect late-night commuters after reports filter through of a group of dark, blood-thirsty beings who've seen fit to infiltrate one of London's busiest stations in order to quench their thirst for blood. Watch out, too, for a cameo from that girl out of Emmerdale as Woodgate's glamorous assistant. Will they, won't they? Will their feelings for each other be to the detriment of the passengers? Tune in to find out.

Living TV, Sunday, 7.30pm

Capybara Posted on 20/12/2010 16:17
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

They'll be lurking in the remains of the Hotel Curve tunnel no doubt.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 20/12/2010 16:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Capy - Again [:D]

crouchy Posted on 20/12/2010 17:14
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

No im not a painter and decorator emmerson

jimmythewondercat Posted on 20/12/2010 17:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Tell me more of this Hotel curve Capy...! [?]

Capybara Posted on 20/12/2010 18:11
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Jonathan says: You will, no doubt, be aware of the Thameslink (as was) service which comes from Bedford and Luton and goes underground just before St Pancras and now calls at the new station underneath the international terminal. You will recall that this stopped at the Kings Cross Thameslink station before the new St Pancras station opened before going on to Farringdon, etc.

Prior to 1976 trains from Farringdon could also access the line leading north out of King's Cross to places like Stevenage and Hitchin. To the eastern side of King's Cross trains used a tunnel which is still visible today to gain access to the Farringdon line. Next time you are travelling from King's Cross, look out of the right hand side of the train and you will see some large pipes disappearing into a tunnel under York Way at the North end of the station. This is the tunnel used by Farringdon- (and Moorgate-) bound trains until 1976. Trains travelling in the opposite direction gained access to the main line via a tunnel on the west side of King's Cross station. This was the Hotel Curve, so-called because it ran beneath the Great Northern Hotel. Much of this tunnel has now disappeared with the development of King's Cross underground station and the surrounding area. Best wishes, Jonathan.

tarkers11 Posted on 20/12/2010 18:15
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Where does it say he's retired?

Ricard00 Posted on 20/12/2010 23:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I can't see any reference to retirement even in the Wiki article.

SYDNEYSIDER Posted on 21/12/2010 07:34
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Shame.No Central Defender in England could lace a fit Jonathan Woodgate's boots. I remember his first game on loan for the Boro, he had Henry in his pocket. He had so much composure and time on the ball.

jimmythewondercat Posted on 21/12/2010 09:58
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Many thanks Capy aka Jonathan! [smi]

Capybara Posted on 21/12/2010 11:25
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

' I remember his first game on loan for the Boro, he had Henry in his pocket.'

And a copy of the National Fares Manual (North) for that year, I'll be bound. No mean feat.

jimmythewondercat Posted on 21/12/2010 11:51
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I remember him referring to it during the Boateng sending off debacle - he was looking to see if George could get a cheaper fare home.

Roundy was so annoyed at the inflexibility of the walk up fare structure that he got himself sent to the stands!!

Capybara Posted on 21/12/2010 15:49
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I really don't blame him.

I'm wondering what Jonathan is making of today's ECML happenings. It's utter chaos out there.

jimmythewondercat Posted on 21/12/2010 17:28
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Having had to take the slow train both to and from Watford/Euston today I would love to hear his views on the localised issues on the West Coast 'slow' lines.

Thank god for the DC service he would doubtless agree.

wowee_zowee Posted on 21/12/2010 17:44
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Thomas and Friends

Classy perma-crock Jonathon Woodgate takes over from Ringo Starr to narrate tales based on the much loved classic characters. Can Thomas transport Sodor's football team to their big Cup match in time for kick-off? Can anyone understand Jonathon's broad Teesside drawl?

Five 7:20am

Capybara Posted on 21/02/2011 12:38
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Under-fire Coronation Street bosses have sensationally been offered assistance on public transport matters by injured-again former England centre-back Jonathan Woodgate. Following the tram-crash-that-would-never-have-happened-in-real-life, the soap is once again being criticised after shooting the ‘Leanne leaving for London’ scenes in Manchester Victoria when everyone knows that Euston trains leave from Piccadilly. ‘It was embarrassing,’ said Woodgate, ’and I am willing to offer the show my expertise on timetables, fare structures and rail travel generally to ensure nothing like this happens again.’ He explained, ’The whole scene was ruined for me as I tried to imagine what set of circumstances could possibly lead to trains departing Victoria for Euston, especially as the announcement clearly stated that the first stop would be Stockport.’ He went on, ‘then the train that Peter Barlow was hobbling along the platform to try and catch turned out to be a Northern Class 150. What a nonsense! The scene was only rescued by Peter’s hobbling which was spot on in my view.’

Bobby_Braithwaite Posted on 21/02/2011 12:58
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

I'd have put money on Capybara not knowing there was such a programme.

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 21/02/2011 13:01
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Brilliant, Capy. Again. [:D]

Emmersons_BrazillianDong Posted on 21/02/2011 13:19
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

This thread deserves some recognition. Can we set up a charity football match?

Capybara Posted on 25/03/2011 15:03
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Perhaps Jonathan might like to say something?

IMUK Posted on 25/03/2011 15:06
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

A well deserved hoof! [:D]

Vasily_Rats Posted on 25/03/2011 15:43
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

[;)] [^]

Link: woody

Capybara Posted on 25/03/2011 15:46
Jonathan Woodgate Retires


anth87 Posted on 25/03/2011 16:40
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Woodgate officially retired on the 29th August 2010.... OH NO he didnt he has played for Spurs first team since then! Played 20 minutes at the San Siro against Milan.

NickClegg Posted on 25/03/2011 16:59
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

Never get tired of this thread [:D]

viv_andersons_nana Posted on 18/04/2011 14:37
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

'Enemy at the Woodgate'

The first foray into the world of cinema sees Teesside-born injury-magnet Jonathan Woodgate take on a role based loosely on his own career. Playing the part of 'Jonatan Gudweigt', a half-Swedish, half-German rising star of athletics, Woodgate digs deep into his considerable personal experiences of bad luck, tragic misfortune at the hands of muscular inadequacy and thoughts of 'what may have been...' to deliver an astonishingly moving portrayal of the greatest athlete never to take the sporting world by storm. This Palm d'Or nominated film also addresses the mental trials and tribulations of what it feels like to be 'the man who would have been the best, if it wasn't for...' with startling detail, using the very latest 3D animation to delve deep into Gudweigt's psyche in an attempt to tackle some of the darker moments. It is during these animated scenes we witness the various 'trips', as well as seeing a handful of cameos from a stellar cast. Look out for Matt LeBlanc as 'evil thigh muscle', John Barrowman as 'nasty Mr Medial Ligament' and Meg Ryan as 'strained-calf woman'.

Thursday, 10pm, Sky Indie.

Capybara Posted on 18/04/2011 16:39
Jonathan Woodgate Retires

..... and Peter Barlow as the ticket collector [smi]