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grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 09:49
Marraiges and pregnancies

Every week it seems that someone else I know is falling into one or both of these categories.

Once folk get into their 30s, they seem to be getting desperate.

Maybe I'm missing out, but is it that easy to say "You'll do?". Surely it should have to do with more than just timing and a shared wish for the above.

Doesn't work for me.

Corcaigh_the_Cat Posted on 21/02/2008 09:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

You'll meet him one day. Have patience.

Cockney_Barra_Boy Posted on 21/02/2008 09:53
Marraiges and pregnancies

Well I'm getting married in August, but been engaged for 7 years so about time really.

You need to find someone to 'you'll do' to you grantus!!!

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 09:53
Marraiges and pregnancies

Lifes passing you by, best find a bird quick and stop spending all your time on ere moaning about not getting your leg over

Brick_Tamland Posted on 21/02/2008 09:53
Marraiges and pregnancies

"You'll do" has replaced "I do" as the oral affirmation of monogamist commitment and enduring faith in another person.

captain5 Posted on 21/02/2008 09:58
Marraiges and pregnancies

To be fair grantus, you're well into your thirties now so this shouldn't be such a surprise.

Maidenhead-RED Posted on 21/02/2008 10:00
Marraiges and pregnancies

Grant, give it another 5 or 6 years, and everyone will be moving into Divorce or Separation Categories, then you will have your fiends back again.

P.S Finally separate from my wife tomorrow
[:D]

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 10:05
Marraiges and pregnancies

I have had opportunity to settle down a few times, to get married and/or to have children. For one reason or another it wasn't right. Either not the right person or not the right time.

Either way though there has to be more to it than timing.

What about love?

It seems that people are getting to a certain point in their lives and deciding that it's "time" to settle down and that is the main drive behind these decisions. Where is the longevity in that?

No wonder we have so many divorces and single parents.

Sea_Harrier Posted on 21/02/2008 10:08
Marraiges and pregnancies

Brick,
I can't wait to read your thesis with prose like that above, mate. [:D]

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 10:11
Marraiges and pregnancies

Brick's right though.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 11:38
Marraiges and pregnancies

Can people really do all the things they want to do by the time they reach 30? Maybe they run out of drive and just can't be arsed anymore, that's why they get some old dog up the spout and marry her.


Sad turn of events.

sasboro1 Posted on 21/02/2008 11:40
Marraiges and pregnancies

27-29 get married. 31-34 have the kids, 36-40 get divorced that seem the pattern

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 11:40
Marraiges and pregnancies

Depends which way you look at it.

The fact of the matter is, that, all women are slightly mental. If you get one that you can put up with, grab it while you can, another one may not come along for years.

Otherwise, you will be mid thirties, with a goatee and might end up with a twenty stone heffer.

Nobody wants that.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:43
Marraiges and pregnancies

It's the old grass is greener issue. Suppose it depends on what fits the person's needs. To be honest, I'd hate to be single in my mid 30's cos I now know what I'm used to

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 11:44
Marraiges and pregnancies

Oi, watch it sunshine, I'm shaving off the goatie tonight.

Piggy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:45
Marraiges and pregnancies

I must be more efficient that I thought. I'd got the whole marriage/kids/divorce malarky concluded by the time I was 28, never mind 36-40.

Ahead of my time, I'm the Martin Peters of matrimony.

marktheborofan Posted on 21/02/2008 11:46
Marraiges and pregnancies

If you haven't had kids before you are 23 then when you do have them and they go to school, the other kids will take the p1ss out of your kids for having "old" parents.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:47
Marraiges and pregnancies

I think some people are scared of commitment which is selfish and pitiful

Manny-Being-Manny Posted on 21/02/2008 11:47
Marraiges and pregnancies

Do gadgies have body clocks like women??

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 11:50
Marraiges and pregnancies

"I think some people are scared of commitment which is selfish and pitiful"

What are you on about? Explain what you mean.

Surely it is more selfish and pitiful getting married for the wrong reasons and getting divorced after a few years because you can't be bothered to work at it.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 11:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

"To be honest, I'd hate to be single in my mid 30's cos I now know what I'm used to"

That has to be the most unromantic thing I have ever heard in my life....!!!!

ie I stay with you because Ive got used to it!

You old charmer Bandy...LOL!

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

Grantus: Some people think that marriage is the end of their life, and that you will never see another friend, a pub or a boro match ever again, thus becomeing petrified of losing their freedome. if you pick the right bird you can have it all

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 11:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

Kids are a drain on my resources I just don't need. One 'live round' gets through and bang goes my 8 holidays per year.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:54
Marraiges and pregnancies

thats where the selfish comes into it

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:55
Marraiges and pregnancies

"ie I stay with you because Ive got used to it! "

hopelessley wrong.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 11:56
Marraiges and pregnancies

Bang on Bandy.

All though mine is having a bit of a wobble of late.

F*cking hormones.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 11:57
Marraiges and pregnancies

"Some people think that marriage is the end of their life, and that you will never see another friend, a pub or a boro match ever again, thus becomeing petrified of losing their freedome. if you pick the right bird you can have it all"

Do you know people like this? They sound retarded to me.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 11:58
Marraiges and pregnancies

yeah, about 60 percent of the male teesside population

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 11:59
Marraiges and pregnancies

I don't know anyone who would think like that.

I think that you are mistaken too.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 12:00
Marraiges and pregnancies

maybe I am but it's what I believe

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:00
Marraiges and pregnancies

Most dudes think as soon as you get married, it equals being Pussy whipped for ever.


Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:00
Marraiges and pregnancies

We are social animals, we are not meant to live and die alone. For 1000's of years we have dwelled with our partners and reared our children. Living your life by yourself without the desire for kids is unnatural.

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 12:01
Marraiges and pregnancies

It's better to bide your time rather than marry the first bird who was willing to drop their knickers for you.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:02
Marraiges and pregnancies

S*** bill, thats where i went wrong.

However, what if you are happy with what you have?

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 12:02
Marraiges and pregnancies

Boromart - Living by youself is not the same as living your life alone.

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

there is a differance between biding your time, and just putting it off uot of some unfounded fear.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

Boro mart - what about gay folk? and vegans?

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

How surprising Bandy harping on about who wears the trousers in his house.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

Bill - Are you married mate?

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

Nothing wrong with selfish. Why should I pro-create? Its my life and if I don't do what I want to do, no one is going to do it for me. Having kids to me is like removing one of arms or legs. I go where I want, when I want and with who I want and don't see any need to restrict myself.

Most blokes 'give in' to having kids because:

A) They need to prove to their friends/family/work collegues that they are not a 'Jaffa'

B) To stop their wives/gf's giving them hassle about their 'body clock'

C) They want a mini version of them running around and want to give them the things in life they never had .. and end up spoilt!

[:D]

boro_bliss Posted on 21/02/2008 12:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

I am not a fan of marriage, so I think I'll never marry.

About children, well, I would love to have a child, but its not possible, so I think I'd adopt or stay child-less.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 12:04
Marraiges and pregnancies

bororeddaz, enlighten me on your status?

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:05
Marraiges and pregnancies

don't even go there, yesterday I started world war three by saying Croat Footballers are lazy, I'm not setting foot near the gay = unnatural debate!!!

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 12:08
Marraiges and pregnancies

GET BACK IN YOUR CAVE!!! [:)]

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 12:21
Marraiges and pregnancies

I like marriage, im not married at the moment but will get round to it for a second time eventually. It is a personal choice as well as it being easier in the eyes of the law if you die or are in an accident where you cant talk for yourself.

As far as babies go, I hated being pregnant but love being a mother. Being a mum is wonderful, you nurture another human being and watch them develop into an adult. As long as they dont turn into a pikey chav or a murderer or something similar you can count yourself as doing a good job!

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:22
Marraiges and pregnancies

A pikey chav?

Is that worse than just a regular chav then?

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 12:22
Marraiges and pregnancies

married Bandy why?

zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 12:24
Marraiges and pregnancies

susy's right, being a parent is great. If I'm feeling peed off about something, it only takes one comedy moment from the little lad to make me forget whatever it was that had me annoyed in the first place. I think it's sad if people consider their children a drain and a burden.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:26
Marraiges and pregnancies

How old is your little un Zoe?

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 12:29
Marraiges and pregnancies

Bororeddazz: you seem to have a bit of a problem. I reckon you're hen pecked and dont get let out on lads nights :)

zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 12:31
Marraiges and pregnancies

He's 3, Dr_Evil, and a budding actor.

More Keystone Cops than Lawrence Olivier, though.

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 12:32
Marraiges and pregnancies

zoec - I just don't find kids funny. 'Oh look at little Tommy play, oh how joyous, look how he does something that 100,000,000 other kids have done today' Nope, I don't get it and I never will.

The only time I laugh at kids is when the do something stupid and hurt themselves. Sick I know, but I don't believe in wasting a good opportunity to laugh at the expense of another persons misfortune.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:34
Marraiges and pregnancies

I dont find other people's kids funny either really Japster.

In the same way, I hold my other half's nephew, and feel nothing towards him. He is just a person.


zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 12:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

japster, I know - other people's kids are a pain in the arse, but the old cliche, "it's different when they're your own" is true in my case.

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:39
Marraiges and pregnancies

japsterboro, I never really liked kids until I had my own. When you see your own child growing up, learning, reacting, it's weird it just hits you.

I've got two kids, 2 and 4, and I couldn't exist without them. After a bad day at the office they cheer me up everytime.

That might seem like sentimental crap to you single-tons but I couldn't care less to be honest. I've been both sides of the fence, and I can safely say that this side is better.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 12:41
Marraiges and pregnancies

Exactly Boromart.

Its different for me because she is only 10 weeks old, but she is interacting now, and its brilliant.

(Cue Critical_Bill - Evil, you ve had a kid? You kept that quiet.)

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 12:42
Marraiges and pregnancies

I do find other kids funny, I often look after a small group of children and they are great, it is wonderful to look at the world through a childs eyes. Take the time to do that and the world really opens up. Their innocence is great until they do a word search or similar and draw a line round the word F***!!!!!

On another note, I was grocery shopping the other day and there was a family out, the youngest son was misbehaving and upset as he was being pulled around by his dad and yelled at by both parents, I really felt like saying to them all "right, take a deep breath and start again calmly, give little johnny something to do and praise him when he does it and give him another job. Do that and your whole shopping experience will change from hellish to actually reasonably pleasant"

Anyway I didnt and im sure they all went home with high blood pressure and the lad was given a good hiding.... he will never do that again... yeah right!

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 12:42
Marraiges and pregnancies

Dr Evil - And thats the difficulty, trying to act like you give a S*** when some friend or family member passes their kid to you ... its impossible! You're face is plastered with a fake paint on smile like you're typical American. In fact, friends know of mine know of my 'allergy' to the little blighters so refrain from me making a poor show of acting with 'cooing' and 'ahhing'.

Yes zoec, I've heard of that .... if your happy, then I'm happy for you. [;)]

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 12:48
Marraiges and pregnancies

Boromart - For me, the cons far outweigh the pro's on this. After a bad day at the office, I want peace and quiet, not WW3 or wading through S***ty nappies or beef strogonoff coating my 50" plasma.

For now, at 33, I'm happy and cannot see a change to what I want. Some day, I might not have a choice but I don't think I'd make a good parent.

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:53
Marraiges and pregnancies

"fake paint on smile like you're typical American" -- careful, you'll start the racism discussions off again!

Japsterboro, I used to be the same around kids, I just wasn't comfortable with it, but since having my own I've opened up to my inner child and can converse with kids really well.

It's fear that makes adults scared of handling/interacting with kids. Fear that they might break the kid in some way, fear that the other adults will think your a numpty for not knowing how to wind a baby, fear that you will say a word not suitable for kids, fear that you will look silly playing hide and seek, with a 3 year old.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 12:54
Marraiges and pregnancies

"The only time I laugh at kids is when the do something stupid and hurt themselves."

PMSL! this board is quite amusing today..

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 12:57
Marraiges and pregnancies

Wrong Boromart. Children are stupid, they do stupid things, they say stupid things, babies are ugly, they have no stamina, they cannot hold a decent conversation, they cry, they run around like idiots.

Adults aren't scared of children, at least I'm not, I just choose not to hang around with the annoying little buggers. They offer no value.

They may be ok for some comedy value for 10 minutes once in a while, that's enough for me.

If and when I ever have children, she'll be doing most of the work.

I'll teach them football and take them fishing.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 12:58
Marraiges and pregnancies

as long as you dont teach them to drive mate..

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 12:58
Marraiges and pregnancies

If you do ever have kids, have the decency to be married at the time.

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 12:59
Marraiges and pregnancies

"Children are stupid, they do stupid things, they say stupid things, babies are ugly, they have no stamina, they cannot hold a decent conversation, they cry, they run around like idiots." --that could equally be applied to you when drunk, which is the only time your amusing.

zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 12:59
Marraiges and pregnancies

Are you planning on learning how to play football then, grantus?

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 13:01
Marraiges and pregnancies

flar, I'm an excellent driver. It was you who crashed into me, on my side of the road.

Actually, I've taught two people to drive, both who passed their test 1st time.

Stick that in your pipe, Senna.

Bill, I would hope that to be the case. I believe in love and I beleive in marraige. Difference between me and most is that I believe that it's a lifelong commitment, so wont run into it until I'm mature enough to handle it. Unlike all of the divorcees that post on here.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 13:02
Marraiges and pregnancies

Boromart - you've never seen me drunk and you never will.

zoec - I'm thinking about it. [:)]

onthemap Posted on 21/02/2008 13:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

My current squeeze is married with a three year old.
Can I join in here?

Boromart Posted on 21/02/2008 13:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

well I guess it's difficult to get drunk on those halfs your always buying.

Piggy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:05
Marraiges and pregnancies

That seems a bit out of character for you Grantus, so I'll assume you are doing a spot of fishing now rather than waiting for your first born to accompany you.

The thing I like about kids is that you get the opportunity to teach them stuff, show them things, take them to places. Sometimes they are a pain in the arse, sometimes they are a joy to be with. I suspect though, that without the sense of responsibility that having kids brings about, I'd probably be sleeping rough now. Well, not now, its lunchtime, but you know what I'm getting at. They provide a reason for putting up with all the S***e that life throws at you and just getting on with it.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:10
Marraiges and pregnancies

"Bill, I would hope that to be the case. I believe in love and I beleive in marraige. Difference between me and most is that I believe that it's a lifelong commitment, so wont run into it until I'm mature enough to handle it. Unlike all of the divorcees that post on here."

Patronising cnut!!

re: driving shall we ignore the "Newcastle incident"? [:)]

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:12
Marraiges and pregnancies

"They offer no value"

Grantus, try telling yourself that when you have no family to visit you in your nursing home

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:13
Marraiges and pregnancies

grantus - love is vastly overrated.

What you need is someone that enjoys similar things to yourself, who is reliable and fairly stable, has loads of money, a decent job and last but not least is reasonably tolerable looks wise. Not an easy thing to find in anyone, never mind a female. (See Dr Evils comment earlier!).

Love is the last thing to worry about and like Christmas is just a mechanism used by business to make you feel unsettled and buy more stuff.

My parents love each other, but they've been married for over 50 years.

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:14
Marraiges and pregnancies

I'd want nowt to do with my family if they stuck me in one of those places.
Unless I'd lost my marbles.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:14
Marraiges and pregnancies

I think that was his point Bill!

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:15
Marraiges and pregnancies

I dont think that many people go into marriage thinking, roll on the divorce!!! People grow apart and that isnt always their fault. People used to stick together no matter what, wives put up with their husbands beating them and shagging other women, and visa versa probably.

Marriage should be gone into as a lifelong commitment but if it doesnt work then you cant berate anyone for separating and getting a divorce!

Im not divorced btw.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 13:16
Marraiges and pregnancies

Zoe you forgot to put 'kids are like farts' before you statement

zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 13:16
Marraiges and pregnancies

Have you just escaped from the 19th century, br14?! I hope your wife/future bride had an adequate dowry.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:17
Marraiges and pregnancies

I think some people see marriage as a prison stretch. When you look at it in its simplest of terms it's a great day out on the lash and you get a holiday of non stop shagging thrown in afterwards. After that life carries on as normal. Some people are scared of the word rather than the actual job

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:17
Marraiges and pregnancies

grantus world has been thrown into confusion after gays getting 'married' became legal.
he doesn't know which path to take.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:19
Marraiges and pregnancies

Why is being married before you have kids so important to you Bill?

I think that you are the only person I know who is bothered.

Ms Evil's dad is old fashioned in his values, and had no problems whatsoever with the fact that we were just engaged.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:20
Marraiges and pregnancies

"and visa versa probably."

credit card problems Susy? [:)]

Piggy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:21
Marraiges and pregnancies

I'll be quite happy to end up in a nursing home. They do all the cooking and washing for you and if you can find one next to a pub/bookies life would be ideal.

You dont even have to get up out of your chair when you need a slash. And as an added bonus for us blokes there is probably a ratio of about 4:1 women to men. Most of them can take their teeth out too.

Roll on my 60th birthday.

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:21
Marraiges and pregnancies

Ther are enough B*****s in the world already

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:23
Marraiges and pregnancies

"People grow apart and that isnt always their fault"

Nope. It's often the fault of hormones.

I know several couples that hit 40+ years of age and the females went suddenly beserk.

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:23
Marraiges and pregnancies

No Flar, I just use his!

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:24
Marraiges and pregnancies

But Bandy, it is a prison stretch to many. As someone who has no religious or marital beliefs, its all a bit of a waste of time. Its like asking you to get married in a hindu temple.

I go out on the lash whenever I like plus I get to do non-stop shagging with the knowledge that I'm not going to be poking the same racid hole for the next 50 years ... hopefully.

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:25
Marraiges and pregnancies

OMG im soon going to be 40.... does that mean im going to mutate?

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:26
Marraiges and pregnancies

[:)] Piggy - Reminds me of a joke:

Bert and Enid, both in their 90s, have been together since they were teenagers. Every day for the past 70 odd years they have sat on a bench in the park and Enid holds Bert's penis.

One day Enid wakes up and Bert isnt there. She goes out to look for him and finds him sat on the bench with Ethel, who is holding his penis!

Enid is GUTTED and says "Bert, we have been together for over 70 years, and every day I have held your penis, and now this!

what does SHE have that I dont have??"

"Parkinsons," Bert replies...

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:26
Marraiges and pregnancies

I love that image br14.

Just loads of people at a womans 40th birthday and she is going crazy.

Also Bill, Ill do a better job bringing up my child than most of the scum in this country could with theirs, regardless of whether I am married or not. So, for that, it doesnt really matter.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:28
Marraiges and pregnancies

"I go out on the lash whenever I like plus I get to do non-stop shagging with the knowledge that I'm not going to be poking the same racid hole for the next 50 years ... hopefully."

Im AMAZED you havent been snapped up already!

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 13:29
Marraiges and pregnancies

An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home.

One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones
his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing that Mr. Smith was old and
forgetful, decided To play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to
hear that," she replied.

Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the
nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants.

Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr. Smith, I thought you told me
your penis died."

"It did," he said. "Today is the viewing."

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:30
Marraiges and pregnancies

br14 - You speak about 'the females' as if you're talking about a species of animal! [:D]

They go mad cos the kids leave home, the husbands shagging someone else so doesn't look at her as his wife anymore, just the father of his kids, so she feels useless, looses her confidence but then reads a womans mag and gets ideas in her head and goes all 'Shirley Valentine'.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:30
Marraiges and pregnancies

wtf is a viewing?

zoec Posted on 21/02/2008 13:30
Marraiges and pregnancies

My nan has just gone into a nursing home. We held off as long as possible because we realised the upset it would cause and we were, right, it has been very upsetting. Their getting paid well, though, so they'll just have to stop complaining and put up with her.



Only joking(ish). She doesn't mind the home a bit. In fact prefers it to her own home as she has more people to boss about.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 13:32
Marraiges and pregnancies

Its when people view the body. dumbncut

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:32
Marraiges and pregnancies

One of my mates wife decided to drive into a car park and practise mayhem. 12 cars written off in total.

Then she tried to run down her own daughter.

Another left her 3 kids and 25 year old marriage to get into group sex. Actually called wives of their friends trying to get them to join in.

Another decided she needed to kill her husband and chased him round the house with two carving knives. Odd thing is she couldnt remember a thing afterward.

BTW there are independent witnesses for all the above. I suppose it could just be I have a lot of nutters for friends.

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:33
Marraiges and pregnancies

flar - The que has become longer as I've grown older!

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:34
Marraiges and pregnancies

I bet, it might reach one soon...

onthemap Posted on 21/02/2008 13:34
Marraiges and pregnancies

Women go nuts long before they hit 40 btw.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

Daz, my mistake, I have been to hundreds of "dead body viewings" in my time...how could I forget?

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

br14, it seems like you need to move out of the psychiatric care facility if they are the sort of people you mingle with.

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

br14 I can confirm that you have nutters for friends!

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 13:36
Marraiges and pregnancies

maybe because they don't trust your urges

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:36
Marraiges and pregnancies

Hmmm, I get the impression that japsterboro's ex ended up seeking a portion elsewhere.

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:37
Marraiges and pregnancies

You could be right sir...

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:39
Marraiges and pregnancies

Flar, that bottle of lubricant is actually Embalming fluid.

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:39
Marraiges and pregnancies

Nope Japster. Nothing to do with all those things.

They're alright by the time they hit 50. Your're right about the "getting ideas" bit though - magazines etc.

We're all the victims of advertising and features that suggest to us our lives are inadequate and we need more satisfaction.

Misery loves company when it comes to divorce etc.

Lawyers love it and then we have to buy more stuff.

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:40
Marraiges and pregnancies

Isn't all that dead body viewing a catholic thing?

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:41
Marraiges and pregnancies

suzy for the record, these are all affluent middle aged couples that externally at least looked perfectly happy until the explosion of 40+ hit.


flar Posted on 21/02/2008 13:41
Marraiges and pregnancies

Probably. Another Irish excuse to drink and fight each other.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:42
Marraiges and pregnancies

Feck, arse, Dead person, Girls.

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:42
Marraiges and pregnancies

Im doooooooooomed

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:43
Marraiges and pregnancies

I would hope so, after the relationship had ended mind. I'm friends with most of my ex's and hope they are happy in their new relationships. I'm a handful mind.

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:44
Marraiges and pregnancies

Theres always HRT


Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:46
Marraiges and pregnancies

Susy, keep your sex life as active as possible to make sure you are releasing the hormones.

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:46
Marraiges and pregnancies

But what about vaginal dryness Dr?

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:47
Marraiges and pregnancies

So many things i can say right now, however, I dont want to branded a perv amongst the rest of what I regarded on this board!

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:47
Marraiges and pregnancies

susy - [:O]

br14 Posted on 21/02/2008 13:48
Marraiges and pregnancies

How long ago is that japster. You sound like you're still in rebound mode.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 13:50
Marraiges and pregnancies

Susy what do you think flem is for?

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:50
Marraiges and pregnancies

susy, get your lad to spit on it beforehand.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

Bill - [:(]

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

br14 - Years! Must be in permanent thing then!

Did any of these 'mad females' spend anytime at her magesty's for their crimes? Don't think a bloke would get away with that sort of behaviour, do you?

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

[:D] [:P]

So spit, dont swallow and loads of sex will keep me from being a loony.

Erm, do you think I can sell that idea to my other half?

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:53
Marraiges and pregnancies

isnt the reason you are on here 24 7 to keep yourself moist?

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:54
Marraiges and pregnancies

Well dont drink too much man fat, because with the loss of feminine hormones, and too much masculine ones going down your gob, you ll be growing a Grantus style goatee before you know it.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 13:55
Marraiges and pregnancies

and coming on here complaining at the lack of sausage action

Critical_Bill Posted on 21/02/2008 13:55
Marraiges and pregnancies

Evil, are you suggesting that grantus grew a beard after over-indulging in the consumption of 'gentleman's relish'?

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 13:56
Marraiges and pregnancies

Couldn't possibly say.

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 13:57
Marraiges and pregnancies

Bill - [:D]

susy Posted on 21/02/2008 14:01
Marraiges and pregnancies

Im not actually complaining about the lack of action tbh, just worried im going to metamorphose into a loony when I turn 40, apparently loads of sex is the cure.

Bandy Posted on 21/02/2008 14:02
Marraiges and pregnancies

you wont get it here cos theyre all W*****s

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 14:03
Marraiges and pregnancies

Cor Bandy, you are a right bitch recently. I reckon you should change your name back.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 14:30
Marraiges and pregnancies

Wooah woah woah there. There's nothing wrong with my beard. Beckham has been copying it for years, except he's a very talented footballer, a multi millionaire, good looking, iconic, husband who always gets away with it, father of three, hero of a generation, where I'm a mid thirties, average joe with a line in decent craic. The difference is negligable.


Bandy - they offer no value unless they belong to you. Anyone else's are a complete bore and don't believe any of us when we say that your children are cute, beautiful, good looking, etc. Children are all ugly. You only say that your friends children are cute to avoid hurting feelings. The truth be known, all babies are grotesque.

Nursing home? My family have visited me once in over 8 years, what difference would it make? I'm with Piggy on the nursing home perspective.

flar - the Newcastle incident was on my 21st birthday and is in no way relevent to my supreme driving capabilities. The fact that I could even point the car in the direction of a road on that evening was a miracle in itself.

Boromart - I hardly drink anymore anyway.

br14 - Love is not vastly overrated, love is a beautiful thing. Being "in love" if nurtured and nourished and worked upon believingly, dedicatedly and resolutely, can develop into a deep, life long love, one that can last. Unfortunately, people these days think that a happy marraige comes on a silver platter. The first sign of a mistake or a temptation and people run for cover. People really are disappointing these days.

onthemap Posted on 21/02/2008 14:32
Marraiges and pregnancies

grantus
Watch some war films, all this Dirty Dancing and Bridget Jones has gone to your head.

Pauluka Posted on 21/02/2008 14:34
Marraiges and pregnancies

Ah bless, living in regret

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 14:43
Marraiges and pregnancies

Regret, indeed, I regret I lost my licence on my 21st. I should never have gone through that red light. Damnitt!!

Who is Bridget Jones? Dirty Dancing, I've been called snake hips in my time, don't you worry about that son [;)]

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 14:45
Marraiges and pregnancies

Thats only due to the snakeskin trousers you were wearing.

wokingmassive Posted on 21/02/2008 14:45
Marraiges and pregnancies

I read in G.Q (so it must be true) that statistically the best age for a man to marry - to last the distance and not get divorced is from 30 - 35. As they have usually got all the daft stuff out of their system by then.

MarlonD Posted on 21/02/2008 14:48
Marraiges and pregnancies

Probably right that, woking.

I got the stupid things out of the way in my 20's.

like getting married & divorced.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 15:20
Marraiges and pregnancies

The trousers, of course.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 15:31
Marraiges and pregnancies

GQ is so overly pretentious its untrue!

Cant find anything better than Mens Fitness or Mens Health.
FHM is far too 'Kelly Brooks tits' for me.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:34
Marraiges and pregnancies

I was once informed that homosexual males buy mens health for vvanking purposes

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 15:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

Once informed.

By who? Your boyfriend?

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:35
Marraiges and pregnancies

mufflar

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 15:39
Marraiges and pregnancies

Ah ha.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of half naked dudes in there.

*quickly looks at charlize therons website to reaffirm sexual status*

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 15:40
Marraiges and pregnancies

Homosexual males maybe do, but I buy Mens Health for its literary content rather than anything else.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:41
Marraiges and pregnancies

I was a regular reader of MH when I was on my fitness thing. A guy I worked with was gay and informed me of its popularity with gay men.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:43
Marraiges and pregnancies

Only stating facts japs. I stopped buying it after 2 years because it became too repetative.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:44
Marraiges and pregnancies

Its probably the homsexual version of W****** over yer mams Kays catalogue

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 15:45
Marraiges and pregnancies

Surely they would just buy gay porn stuff. Its rather like you knocking one off to the lingerie section of your Mum's Kay's catalogue don't you think ... there is much more material out there to suit all interests.

flar - See 'Over 50's'

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:48
Marraiges and pregnancies

True Japster but sometimes gentle titillation and what you dont see is more imaginative than gaping vaginas and spunk everywhere

japsterboro Posted on 21/02/2008 15:52
Marraiges and pregnancies

bororeddaz - Thank you, I enjoy your graphic posts no-end. [:D]

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 15:56
Marraiges and pregnancies

Gaping pieholes.

Nice.

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 15:56
Marraiges and pregnancies

Dont get me wrong I love a bit of hardcore but theres something very erotic about catching a bit of downblouse, upskirt or tight clothed nippleage. I assume that all gays aren't out and out dirty filthy barstards all of the time.

Dr_Evil Posted on 21/02/2008 15:58
Marraiges and pregnancies

I can see your point.

Put it away.

grantus Posted on 21/02/2008 16:22
Marraiges and pregnancies

"gentle titillation and what you dont see is more imaginative than gaping vaginas and spunk everywhere"


Is this why people get married?

bororeddaz Posted on 21/02/2008 16:27
Marraiges and pregnancies

No people get married to commit adultery

flar Posted on 21/02/2008 16:49
Marraiges and pregnancies

I see Honka have beaten TPS 3-0 in the Finnish Cup. What a thrashing!