permalink for this thread : http://search.catflaporama.com/post/browse/1386792
Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 07:37
James Martin Is A Tosspot

i have met him a coule of times and i can confirm he is a grade a XXXXXX!


Link: the backtracking twat

Fletch Posted on 17/09/2009 07:47
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Well said Ray, do you ride a pushbike?

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 07:48
James Martin Is A Tosspot

no.

'pushbike' ha ha ha

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 09:10
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Brad Wiggins and his wife Cath have been very vocal in their opposition to Martin, on Twitter.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 09:13
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Apprently there's a programme where he tries to rally in an very old, very expensive car, against the advice of all the experts and he's supposed to come across as a proper bellend.

Wish I'd seen it.

Not_Smog Posted on 17/09/2009 09:15
James Martin Is A Tosspot

He's right though isn't he? Cyclists are a pain in the arse and everyone hates them.

Too poor to own a car and too lazy to walk - scurge of modern society.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 09:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Not_Smog, you obviously prefer fishing but are not very good at it.


I don't know anyone who hates cyclists by the way....

GillZean Posted on 17/09/2009 09:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Liked the letter in Viz asking what part of the world he was from because he never mentions it. 'Appen.

toxic_bob Posted on 17/09/2009 09:25
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I saw the rally programme, and yeah, he does come across as a bit of a bell whiff.

japsterboro Posted on 17/09/2009 09:35
James Martin Is A Tosspot

He was trying to do a 'Clarkson' in his article and it backfired. Although it was tongue-in-cheek, its damn right irresponsible to make such comments.

I also see Mr Ramsey is trying to clean up his public persona after the near collapse of his restraurant empire by doing comic relief. I wonder who his PR agent is? I reckon they would have even taken on the job as PR agent for Hitler.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 09:40
James Martin Is A Tosspot

'He was trying to do a 'Clarkson' in his article and it backfired. Although it was tongue-in-cheek, its damn right irresponsible to make such comments.'

but if possible legal action could be taking place, and the event happened, then he is more of a tosspot for his irresponsible actions on the road rather than his daft wording.

I produced his website a while back and he came in to our offices a few times, he was always a nob trying to be flash.

Rod100 Posted on 17/09/2009 09:42
James Martin Is A Tosspot

it used to get on my wick when ainsley harriot or some other "celebrity chef" would say how handsome james martin was.

he's as fat as butter man ffs.

and a complete bellend. in fact most of these telly chefs are - floyd the exception and antonio carluccio.

if its that hard to cook, how come they can take other "celebrities" on celebrity master chef who have no cooking experience whatsoever, and say they're turning out michellin starred grub after a few weeks in the kitchen? tells me that its not that hard to knock some bait up, and they're taking the p1ss charging us extortionate amounts for it.

and that fact fcuker gregg wallace is a complete to$$er too.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 09:44
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Get a grip you sad bunch of fannies.

It was obviously a joke and the way you lot are wetting your pants about it you would think you were scousers!

And Lizards, "Brad Wiggins and his wife on twitter"- do you seriously give a FCK??!!

Have you turned into a 14 year old girl or summat?

FFS!!

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 10:50
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"flourescent spiderman outfits"

I like his style. I'd have done the same. Cyclists are a XXXXXXin nuisance. There's a bloke at our place so keen he times himself to work and shaves his legs to "improve his aerodynamics" Seriously.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 10:52
James Martin Is A Tosspot

i'd shave Martin's c'ock off

Towell Posted on 17/09/2009 10:53
James Martin Is A Tosspot

As someone who occasionally cycles to work I must say that this article has really got me wound up I'll be editing my thread about my top 5 TV chefs because of this.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 10:53
James Martin Is A Tosspot

" Cyclists are a XXXXXXin nuisance"

Not half as much a nuisance as most drivers....

See if you "like his style" when your young lad is a bit older and he does the same to him on his bike.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 10:54
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Cyclists are a nuisance - they dont even pull over and let you pass them these days when riding two abreast

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 10:55
James Martin Is A Tosspot

So?

Do car drivers pull over when they're going slower than you wish and allow you to pass?

No, so why should cyclists?

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 10:56
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards, I'll be teaching my son to beep at them and give them the bird

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 10:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

thats exactly the knarky attitude that menas people hate cyclists.

Cars dont drive at around 4 miles per hour do they?

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 10:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

What a great father....

So presumably he'll not have a bike and will graduate straight to driving?


towz Posted on 17/09/2009 10:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I cycle to work everyday and always stay as far to the left as possible to let motorists pass, all cyclists should

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 10:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

me too bandy. and the w anker sign over the top of the car roof!

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 10:58
James Martin Is A Tosspot

exactly Towz - good work!

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 10:59
James Martin Is A Tosspot

No, but then neither do many cyclists.

The majority of car drivers are arrogant pricks who think they own the road......

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 10:59
James Martin Is A Tosspot

towz has the right attitude. If one must cycle then cycle sensibly. Some doyles are in the middle of the road in all their clobber thinking they are lance XXXXXXin armstrong.

Lizards: of course my son will have a bike. It doesnt mean he will make the grade as the next bradley wiggins.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 10:59
James Martin Is A Tosspot

ha ha you have a vvanker sign in your car!

says it all really

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:00
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"The majority of car drivers are arrogant pricks who think they own the road...... "

I think you will find that they do as they pay tax for their construction and maintenance, unlike cyclists

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:01
James Martin Is A Tosspot

No one is suggesting he will Bandy.

So I ask again when he's cycling to his mates house and he's say 14 or 15 and a driver does the same as Martin suggests he did, then you'll laugh along and say "I like his style".

Martin mentions nothing about whether the cyclists were "cycling sensibly" or not, merely that he enjoyed scaring them. Besides riding too far into the left is actually dangerous.....

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:02
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"riding too far into the left is actually dangerous....."

Concerned of Tunbridge Wells

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:04
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Wrong flar, they pay a vehicle tax to the government, not a road tax, it's not specifically for the building of roads.

Cyclings also pay a multitude of taxes (including many who pay vehicle tax) which also contribute to the upkeep of roads....

I presume I "own" Buckingham Palace after all I pay income tax for the maintenance of it.....

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:05
James Martin Is A Tosspot

It is called road tax actually.

And cyclists do not pay road tax.

Nor do they observe red lights

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:05
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I find it hilarious that those who complain that the actions of a few football fans ensure that the majority are persecuted by the police, then see it fit to apply the same logic to another social group.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:07
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards - that is exactly what you have done with your persecution of the "slightly fat, TV chefs who drive like men" social group.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:07
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Wrong again, it's not. You have to pay it on each vehicle you own rather than simply to use the roads.....


Link: Road tax????

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 11:07
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards. I'll give him a lift to save the hassle

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:07
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"Nor do they observe red lights"


Whereas all drivers do?

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:08
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Yes it is I'm afraid LJ. Its a ROAD tax

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:10
James Martin Is A Tosspot

No it's not, hence why you pay different rates on different vehicles.

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 11:10
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards, whats with all the gear? Why dont cyclists just wear a pair of levis and a coat? Why do they have to have their bollox falling out of lycra and wear them daft helmets that make them look like they have the head of an alien lifeform.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 11:10
James Martin Is A Tosspot

i pay for the upkeep of my roads through my council tax.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:12
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Why do runners wear shorts as opposed to jeans and a t-shirt, why do footballers no play in diving suits????

The reason for a helmet is because of idiots, as displayed on this thread, who think any person on a bike is fair game.

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 11:13
James Martin Is A Tosspot

[:D][^]

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:13
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"i pay for the upkeep of my roads through my council tax."

You do indeed Razmond, not as flar believes through this mythical "road tax".

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:13
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Yes it is LJ, you pay different amounts depending on how big your car is.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:14
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Exactly it's a tax on vehicles, not on using the roads, hence a vehicle tax.


flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:15
James Martin Is A Tosspot

The reason it is called road tax is because vehicles travel on roads.

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 11:16
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards, do you hang bread clips from your brake cables and put lollysticks in your spokes to make you sound like you are on a motorbike?

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:16
James Martin Is A Tosspot

No he has splashed out on spokey dokeys now he has moved south

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:17
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Of course, I find it aids with aerodynamics as much as shaving my legs and wearing a lycra skin suit.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I'm also missing the West Brom game this weekend so that I can watch a load of blokes ride around London in the last stage of the Tour Of Britain.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Except IT'S NOT CALLED ROAD TAX.

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 11:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

do you also wear a baseball cap with two coke bottles on either side as a novel way of replenishing your thirst

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 11:19
James Martin Is A Tosspot

they came past our house last weekend.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Yep, have you seen me out and about?

Capybara Posted on 17/09/2009 11:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

It's a bugger that. Why couldn't they have it on Sunday, like last year?

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:21
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I know Capy, I was a bit gutted when I found out.


sparkins Posted on 17/09/2009 11:29
James Martin Is A Tosspot

On the DVLA and Direct.gov websites the term Vehicle Tax is used, not Road Tax. This reflects the attempts to emphasise the green element of the tax i.e. drivers of the heaviest polluting vehicles pay more, whereas a cyclist has to pay nothing as there are no CO2 emissions.

As for leg shaving I was under the impression it adds nothing to aerodynamics, but the pros do it to reduce risk of infection from grazes and cuts.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:32
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Its road tax as its for vehicles that use roads.

Tractors do not need to pay it UNLESS you take them on the ROAD

I rest my case

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:32
James Martin Is A Tosspot

[^] Sparkins.

The aerodynamic benefits of shaving your legs only really come into play once you get into Olympic type situations.

There's far more drag on a typical cyclists bikes and clothes, you would be far better tackling than shaving your legs....

It makes it easier when you come off or have a massage though....

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:34
James Martin Is A Tosspot

same with aeroplanes...

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:35
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"Its road tax as its for vehicles that use roads."

Except its not called a road tax, and as you stated before bikes don't have to pay it and they use the roads.

Just give up Flar, you're wrong.

Nero Posted on 17/09/2009 11:36
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I cycle to work 3 times a week and thoroughly enjoy it. Luckily, I can avoid the road most of the time, as cycle tracks/paths are in place.

Just as fecking well too.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:38
James Martin Is A Tosspot

It is mate, just face it. you know in your heart of hearts that I am right.

Just like you know deep down that there arent really any Irish cowboys.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:42
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"It is called road tax actually."

We've already established you're wrong on this, just concede or log in as ExSqueezeme like you normally do when acting stupid.

Capybara Posted on 17/09/2009 11:43
James Martin Is A Tosspot

[:D]

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:43
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Flar - you're talking out your hole


Link: VEHICLE tac

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:43
James Martin Is A Tosspot

semantics Lizards - you know it is a road tax, even if not in name.

hewielewie Posted on 17/09/2009 11:44
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Any vehicle with only two wheels should not be on the road in my opinion.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:45
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Cylists who jump reds are tossers

Motorists who jump reds are dangerous tossers.

Now ask yourself, which tosser would you rather collide with?

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:45
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Give up Flar.

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 11:45
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I have no axe to grind with cyclists but what does boil my pi ss is when you are travelling down a busy country road and there's a bunch of cyclists riding two-a breast. It is arrogance. I have a >200 bhp under my right foot so can move faster, pay road tax every year and so do not expect to held up by arrogance on two wheels using my roads. If it's a road race or whatever fair enough but it's normally a bunch of cycling snobs showing off their latest attire.


flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:46
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I would say 100 times as many cyclists jump reds as cars.

they just sneak through in that camp, one leg on the ground, scooter fashion...

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:46
James Martin Is A Tosspot

But Mick, as you know all motorists are perfect law abiding road users.

Plus they pay road tax....

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:47
James Martin Is A Tosspot

well put 263!

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:48
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I pay vehicle tax and I cycle in to work.

Does that mean I should get a rebate?


The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:48
James Martin Is A Tosspot

" pay road tax every year and so do not expect to held up by arrogance on two wheels using my roads"

* Sigh *

Read the above posts:-

1) You don't pay "road tax"

2) They're not your roads in the same way you don't own the town hall simply because you pay council tax.


flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:48
James Martin Is A Tosspot

depends if you ever use the vehicle you have paid road tax on mick. if you dont it means you are a bit thick.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:49
James Martin Is A Tosspot

263 - you talk about arrogance?

So you should be able to go on your way faster than everybody else?

Should people in 120bhp cars get the fook out of your way as well because you can go faster?

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:50
James Martin Is A Tosspot

you own the right to use roads because you pay road tax.

just like you have the right to go to a town hall for a look round.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:50
James Martin Is A Tosspot

flar - we both know I'm not thick.

I use my car but I also use my bike.

So say 3 days out of 5, I cycle in.

Should I get a rebate?

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 11:51
James Martin Is A Tosspot

If I go cycling with my son I never ride two-abreast for a fcuking good reason.

Plus now with the sun being very low sometimes you simply cannot see all the road.

But I suppose looking up eah other down, comparing d1ck length, cost of bike and make of your gear is well worth the risk.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:51
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"ou own the right to use roads because you pay road tax. "

Except you don't.

Cyclists also "own" the right to use the roads despite not paying this mythical road tax.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:51
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"263 - you talk about arrogance?

So you should be able to go on your way faster than everybody else?

Should people in 120bhp cars get the fook out of your way as well because you can go faster?"

ERM, yes they should!

The highway code states that if you are driving a slow vehicle you should pull over regularly and let the people behind you pass. (when safe to do so)

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:52
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"But I suppose looking up eah other down, comparing d1ck length, cost of bike and make of your gear is well worth the risk."

Because that it what ALL cyclists do.

Some I understand even go on internet message boards boasting about the bhp of their cars...

speckyget Posted on 17/09/2009 11:53
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Mick, if they repeat that rally show don't miss it. Spent more than he really wanted to on a classic Maserati to enter the Mille Miglia. Broke down terminally after one leg. Him crying by the side of the road with his girlfriend was the money shot.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:53
James Martin Is A Tosspot

That's not what I meant.

You;re going 30mph in a 30 zone. Your car is capable of going 120.

Some tit behind you is also going 30, but his car can go 200.

Should you get out of the way?


flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:53
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I think you should Mick ,being serious for a second, but that's another story.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:54
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Crying?

Brilliant

*Buggers off to Youtube with fingers crossed

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 11:54
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Mick if I am on a 60mph road and I am being held up due to cyclists' vanity then I have a right to complain. It is not arrogance I just like to stick to speed limits especially when I am being held up unneccesarily.

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 11:55
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"Cyclists vanity"

Oh FFS.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:55
James Martin Is A Tosspot

exactly 263, PLUS you would fail your driving test if you didnt opass a very slow vehicle ie, a milk float or a horse

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 11:55
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Why?

How long they hold you up? 30 seconds? One minute? Nightmare

So you never go over the speed limit?

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 11:56
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Lizards: Arrogance? It was to make a valid point. Perhaps a fall would create a chip on the other shoulder.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 11:56
James Martin Is A Tosspot

it is rare you will get cyclists on a 60mph road.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Chip? Its more like a sack of potatoes!

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 11:58
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"it is rare you will get cyclists on a 60mph road."

What complete crap!! most coutry roads have a 60mhp limit you dunce!

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 12:00
James Martin Is A Tosspot

no thet dont you dick, as they all go through villages. you will get the national speed limit for about a mile then another village.

idiot.

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:02
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Country roads are normally national speed limit, unless specified.

I consider myself a decent experienced driver but to entrust some of the fcuking young maniacs and coffin dodgers with 4 wheels on the road by riding 2-abreast is insane, if not suicidal.

When I was 17 I rode to work from Berwick Hills to ICI Wilton. In 12 months I got knocked off my bike 3 times, once by a taxi and twice by an ice-cream van.

hewielewie Posted on 17/09/2009 12:02
James Martin Is A Tosspot

I live in South Yorkshire and the 60mph roads are littered with them. Why do they need to ride 2 and 3 abreast?

Capybara Posted on 17/09/2009 12:03
James Martin Is A Tosspot

That ice cream man must have really had it in for you.

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 12:04
James Martin Is A Tosspot

263 - so what do you do now?

You must be a transplant surgeon if you can;t be held up for 30 seconds by a bloke on a bike.

Every second is vital you know

speckyget Posted on 17/09/2009 12:04
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Was it Duncan?

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 12:05
James Martin Is A Tosspot

was it that XXXXXXing Mr Whippy?

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:08
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Mick - I drive a car, courteously, but do a spot of cycling, mainly off road with my son.


Dr_Frank_Reeves Posted on 17/09/2009 12:10
James Martin Is A Tosspot

You should see theXXXXXXs over here in Oz. Fookin loads of them, whole peletons, all in licra, over the place. You can't move on a weekend for them.
Last Sunday one of them was flying along, thinking he was Lance bloody Armstrong, head down, straight into the back of a parked car! Pi55ed myself laughin, what a nob.
Fookin nuisance they are.

flar Posted on 17/09/2009 12:11
James Martin Is A Tosspot

"no thet dont you dick, as they all go through villages. you will get the national speed limit for about a mile then another village.

idiot."

have you ever left Middlesbrough town limits you thick cnut?

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 12:15
James Martin Is A Tosspot

yes i live in the wolds you thick XXXXXX

if you really think that country lanes do not go through villages, then i am very worried as you probably are doing 60 when you should be doing 40 or even 20

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 12:15
James Martin Is A Tosspot

it is actually perfectly acceptable for cyclists to ride 2 abreast. point 66 in the link below

try the cyclists highway code!


Link: a theory test will follow!

appletonlesmog Posted on 17/09/2009 12:16
James Martin Is A Tosspot

James MArtin is a tosspot.

But so is anyone who is unable to pass a cyclist on a country road.
I cycle to uni - about 15 miles a day - and I get there quicker than I do in the car.
How?
By jumping red lights.
Cycling has made me a very impatient driver: I can't take it when smug XXXXXXs like me fly past when I'm stuck in traffic...

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 12:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

it even says that cyclists should wear suitable clothing, no law against looking stupid in luminous shorts and tops

i cycle to work and wear trackie bottoms and a cycling jacket, as it has a bum extension to keep me harris dry

cant belive some of the stupid (albeit, wind ups) comments

the scottish government have decided not to tax cyclists after realising it would be counter productive to their keep fit campaigns!

Capybara Posted on 17/09/2009 12:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Croggies are out according to that.

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Rule 66:

never ride more than two abreast, and "ride in single file on narrow or busy roads" and when riding round bends

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 12:19
James Martin Is A Tosspot

263 - fair enough.

Everybody needs to chill out, take your time. What's the rush?

What is it that once you get in a car you turn into a XXXXXX? I'm as guilty as most.

People cut you up you beep them. Someone cuts you up on the pavement and you bump into them YOU apologise.

I've found almost all motorists very considerate when I'm on my bike, hanging back at roundabouts etc. Except that one XXXXXX yesterday who didn't realise that if you're turning right at a junction you give way to traffic going straight on.

Yesterday was your warning, next time the the D lock is going through your windscreen.

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 12:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

69 says you should obey all signals and lights though![:P]

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 12:23
James Martin Is A Tosspot

my mate had an ambulance drive almost have a coronary because he couldnt get past him on a narrow road the other day. he wasnt on a call, just in a hurry to get hom! me mate warned him he would be putting him in the back of the ambulance if he didnt calm down, either a heart attack or broken jaw!

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:23
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Have you ever seen one of these when you leave a village? If not I hope you're not taking your driving test this afternoon.


Link: Razmond look 'ere

appletonlesmog Posted on 17/09/2009 12:23
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Bah!

How else would you wind up motorists though?

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 12:25
James Martin Is A Tosspot

True - cyclists who jump reads are tossers.

I see it all the time - I stop and a cóck will come sailing past. I catch em up, overtake, stop at the next lights and through they go again.

I must admit to sometime wishing they'd get wiped out by a car.

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 12:27
James Martin Is A Tosspot

263 i am well aware.

but i hope you are aware that a country lane leads to places and is not like a XXXXXXing motorway just miles and miles of lane.

Mr_Wobbly_Hands Posted on 17/09/2009 12:30
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Who is James Martin [?]

mickbrown Posted on 17/09/2009 12:32
James Martin Is A Tosspot

That's a bigger point.

This whole celebrity chef bollox.

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:37
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Mick, fair point - everyone is in a rush, but life is led quicker these days.

Here's a story. I used to live in a village that was surrounded by long windy, narrow feeder roads. One day I was trying to pass a couple of all-kitted out cyclists riding 2-3 abreast. They would not budge over into single file and due to oncoming traffic or blind views I simply could not overtake. I was so fcuking annoyed with their arrogance.

I was driving a diesel that was due a service. I knew it had some issues with the exhaust and would at a certain rpm belch out a load of black smelly soot.

It was clear these tuuats were on a wind-up. Once the road opened up and widened I gently overtook them at a very moderate speed. Once they were all in my rear view mirror I dropped into 2nd and sprayed fcukers with a belch of black fumes. As I laughed and looked back all I could see were a lot waving arms, finger signs and a lot of confused riding. Sometimes revenge is a dish best served hot!

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 12:40
James Martin Is A Tosspot

so because they were going slow you gased them.

you XXXXXXing hitler!

Towell Posted on 17/09/2009 12:42
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Your story is nearly as good as James Martins to be fair.
[^]

The_Lizards_Jumpers Posted on 17/09/2009 12:43
James Martin Is A Tosspot

...and you wonder why your family dont speak to you....

Towell Posted on 17/09/2009 12:45
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Fuqing hell you've got a good memory TLJ!!
[:D]

It was condierably richer than yowww all over again!

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 12:46
James Martin Is A Tosspot

have a very close family pal [smi]

Buddy Posted on 17/09/2009 12:51
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Got bored about post 20, but I can confirm he came across as quite an unpleasant individual on the Mille Miglia programme.

Capybara Posted on 17/09/2009 12:58
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Prof get reviewed it at 11:53.

Bernie_was_right Posted on 17/09/2009 13:15
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Cyclist are fcuking tossers.

When i`m a passenger in a car i usually gob at the lyrca clad homos as we drive past.

ExSqueezeMe Posted on 17/09/2009 13:19
James Martin Is A Tosspot

LOL M8!

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 13:23
James Martin Is A Tosspot

'When i`m a passenger in a car i usually gob at the lyrca clad homos as we drive past.'

and everyone laughs as it flies back in your face.

nice one

Razmond_HWDR Posted on 17/09/2009 13:25
James Martin Is A Tosspot

.

BoroGrecian Posted on 17/09/2009 13:38
James Martin Is A Tosspot

As a cyclist I found James Martins comments to be highly offensive. Clarkson may be a pillock at times with some of his comments, but when it came to his answer about cyclists it was quite simple 'I have this big thing called a steering wheel which means I can go around them'

I cycle to work most days (14 mile around commute) as well as cycle with the RN guys down in Dartmouth and I have never yet had the need to jump a red light, I value my life too much to RLJ.

As for this mythical 'Road Tax' firstly it's called VED and as I ride a non CO2 producing form of transport I therefore would pay a grand total of £0.00p!

Insurance, yes I have insurance for my bike, so if it is stolen it's covered and if I have an accident there is personal libality cover if someone is injured and it's my fault.

In all those who don't cycle and rant about us cyclists are generally talking out of their arses and perhaps if they rode a bike once in a while they might realise some of the idiots we have to deal with, not only on the roads but also those in county halls who design cycle paths which are nigh on useless and usually inhabited by joggers and wondering dogs!

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 13:57
James Martin Is A Tosspot

how can this stupid "joke" be ofensive?

i dont mind the bloke, dose some good food on a saturday!

everyone, get a grip!

ExSqueezeMe Posted on 17/09/2009 14:18
James Martin Is A Tosspot

sumproppa fannies on ere like! lol

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 14:26
James Martin Is A Tosspot

in my younger days we would drive about loaded with a splash gun and get em. used to find it hilarious and to be honest I'd still do it now if someone fancies driving

toxic_bob Posted on 17/09/2009 14:27
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Drive alongside one, wind the passenger's window down and yell AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGH!!!

Proper funny when they fall off

Bandy Posted on 17/09/2009 14:33
James Martin Is A Tosspot

the old "ow mate, you've got a flatty" always used to work aswell.

keelo Posted on 17/09/2009 14:45
James Martin Is A Tosspot

funniest thread for ages....Ive wet meself laughing at some replies....who needs Vic and BOB? [^]

king_hellfire Posted on 17/09/2009 16:05
James Martin Is A Tosspot

'the old "ow mate, you've got a flatty" always used to work aswell.'


So did the old "I say mate, your back wheel is following the front one" the cyclists always used to stop and look at their back wheel.

Jimmythemoonlight Posted on 17/09/2009 16:13
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Here's a story. I used to live in a village that was surrounded by long windy, narrow feeder roads. One day I was trying to pass a couple of all-kitted out cyclists riding 2-3 abreast. They would not budge over into single file and due to oncoming traffic or blind views I simply could not overtake. I was so fcuking annoyed with their arrogance.

I was driving a diesel that was due a service. I knew it had some issues with the exhaust and would at a certain rpm belch out a load of black smelly soot.

It was clear these tuuats were on a wind-up. Once the road opened up and widened I gently overtook them at a very moderate speed. Once they were all in my rear view mirror I dropped into 2nd and sprayed fcukers with a belch of black fumes. As I laughed and looked back all I could see were a lot waving arms, finger signs and a lot of confused riding. Sometimes revenge is a dish best served hot!


What a complete and utterly made up story.You arent Jay off the Inbetweeners are you?.Or did you see Dick Dastardly do this in Wacky Races?[:D]

xxlshirts_fit_all Posted on 17/09/2009 16:16
James Martin Is A Tosspot

no he cant be, he didnt get any clunge out of it!

Jimmythemoonlight Posted on 17/09/2009 16:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

[^][^] up friend[:D]

The_same_as_before Posted on 17/09/2009 16:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Cycle paths are the most ridiculous waste of the tax payers money.

There is one into Teesside airport, I have never seen a single bike in 20 years of using it.

There is a cycle path 10 yards long in Darlo.

FFS

The_263 Posted on 17/09/2009 16:20
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Any diesel fitters care to comment?

42Oven Posted on 17/09/2009 21:19
James Martin Is A Tosspot

[:D][:D][:D]

mattrich Posted on 17/09/2009 23:21
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Rich bloke has fun in expensive sports car, then tells middle class paper of said incident, everyone gets wound up about it.[|)]

addison-road Posted on 17/09/2009 23:27
James Martin Is A Tosspot

Seen him In that rally...grade'A' to55er!

MsCurly Posted on 17/09/2009 23:29
James Martin Is A Tosspot

James Martin - Top Totty.